Don't just EAT a hamburger...

From: hellpopehuey@subgenius.com (HellPopeHuey)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Mon, Jan 13, 2003 9:35 PM

You'll start eating the hell out of BROCCOLI and leave the beef to the
Pink larvae if you watch a video of the USDA inspection process. Bein'
a bold Yeti for "Bob" and all that is a laudable thing and all, but I
DRAW THE LINE AT MY INTESTINES. Aw, who am I kiddin'? I do Wendy's
like most anyone else. But at least I know what I'm gettin' into.

Besides, I figger SubGenius microbes can digest a BOLT. Don't ask me
how I know.

--

HellPope Huey® hellpopehuey@subgenius©.com
Bursting with pontifical goodness

"The President just reminded us that complexity isn't a vice."
- "The West Wing"

"Everything's a dream when you're alone."
- "Swamp Thing"

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From: "Agent Lloyd" <notlikely@noway.org>

Don't just EAT a hamburger. Eat the hell out of it and something from the
$0.99 menu instead of buying the COMBO.

-Agent Lloyd

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From: "Rev. Magdalen" <magdalen@subgenius.com>

"HellPopeHuey" <hellpopehuey@subgenius.com> wrote in message
news:8cc8cffc.0301131835.5188d7e8@posting.google.com
> You'll start eating the hell out of BROCCOLI and leave the beef to the
> Pink larvae if you watch a video of the USDA inspection process. Bein'
> a bold Yeti for "Bob" and all that is a laudable thing and all, but I
> DRAW THE LINE AT MY INTESTINES.

Hey, man, The Book never said it had to be a BEEF hamburger! I'm
telling you, Boca veggieburgers are tender and juicy on the inside, char
up nice on the outside, and they're 100% mad-cow and E. coli free!!!

Unless you rub them on the ass of a British cow before you cook them.

--
They are mean because they are rejects from society.

--Bill Palmer on SubGenii

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From: "nu-monet v5.0" <nothing@succeeds.com>

Rev. Magdalen wrote:
>
> Hey, man, The Book never said it had to
> be a BEEF hamburger!

It could even be a merehumeburger!

With a CHOCOLATE milkshake!

--
"It's like the Roman Empire. Wasn't everybody
running around just covered with syphilis?
And then it was destroyed by the volcano."
--Joan Collins

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From: Joe Cosby <joecosby@SPAMBLOCKmindspring.com>

On Tue, 14 Jan 2003 03:58:18 GMT, "Rev. Magdalen"
<magdalen@subgenius.com> wrote:

>Hey, man, The Book never said it had to be a BEEF hamburger! I'm
>telling you, Boca veggieburgers are tender and juicy on the inside, char
>up nice on the outside, and they're 100% mad-cow and E. coli free!!!
>
>Unless you rub them on the ass of a British cow before you cook them.

EAT THEM BEFORE THEY EAT YOU

--
Joe Cosby
http://joecosby.home.mindspring.com

Anyone can get scared. Losers STAY scared.
- Abbess Abyss

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From: prostata@bronze.coil.com (The Stinking Bishop Prostata Cantata MP)

In article <uVLU9.61042$DN6.1910002@twister.austin.rr.com>,
Rev. Magdalen <magdalen@subgenius.com> wrote:
>Hey, man, The Book never said it had to be a BEEF hamburger! I'm
>telling you, Boca veggieburgers are tender and juicy on the inside, char
>up nice on the outside, and they're 100% mad-cow and E. coli free!!!
>
>Unless you rub them on the ass of a British cow before you cook them.

But they taste better that way!

--
-------------------
"She grew on him like E. coli and he was room temperature Canadian beef."
-Author Unknown

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From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>

I hate to sound like a tree hugger, but in truth I eat one or two of
the Boca Italian Sausage soy-dogs every day. You can chop 'em up and
put them on pizzas, just like a real sausage, and while they aren't the
same as a real sausage, they's AS GOOD AS one. Since I'm not a
vegetarian I sometimes eat both on the same pizza.

My folks and brother raise and sell cows. Not the kind you milk. I have
no idea what is done to the beasts after my brother takes them to
market. But until then, they are way better taken care of than lots of
people are. They are as clean and healthy and full of natural yummy
grass and antibiotics as a fat stupid disgusting herbivorous mammal can
be, that lives down river from a nuclear power plant. Blame the
Butcher's Conspiracy for disturbing news reports about meat; our Cowboy
Conspiracy is doing its job.

This is making me hungry. Especially that bit about the British cow.

--
4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected (Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
P.O. Box 181417, Cleveland, OH 44118 (fax 216-320-9528)
A subsidiary of:
The SubGenius Foundation, Inc. / P.O. Box 204206, Austin, TX 78720-4206
Dobbs-Approved Authorized Commercial Outreach of The Church of the SubGenius
SubSITE: http://www.subgenius.com
For SubGenius Biz & Orders: call toll free to 1-888-669-2323
or email: jesus@subgenius.com
PRABOB

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From: "Dr. Rev. Chuck, M.D. P.A." <cdub@_REMOVETHIS_erols.com>

Rev. Ivan Stang wrote:
>
> I hate to sound like a tree hugger, but in truth I eat one or two of
> the Boca Italian Sausage soy-dogs every day. You can chop 'em up and
> put them on pizzas, just like a real sausage, and while they aren't the
> same as a real sausage, they's AS GOOD AS one. Since I'm not a
> vegetarian I sometimes eat both on the same pizza.

Feed veggie burger to cow. Slaughter cow. Grind, make into patties,
barbeque. Tastes just the same.

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From: Joe Cosby <joecosby@SPAMBLOCKmindspring.com>

On Wed, 15 Jan 2003 03:10:20 -0800, "Dr. Rev. Chuck, M.D. P.A."
<cdub@_REMOVETHIS_erols.com> wrote:

>Feed veggie burger to cow. Slaughter cow. Grind, make into patties,
>barbeque. Tastes just the same.

I've just discovered this great artificial tofu; it's made from meat,
but it tastes JUST like the real thing!

--
Joe Cosby
http://joecosby.home.mindspring.com

SMIKE the POPE

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Original file name: Don't just EAT a hamburge.txt - converted on Monday, 21 July 2003, 13:47