From: "Rev. Magdalen" <magdalen@home.com>
Secrets of Connie: REVEALED!
Women seem mysterious, strange and incomprehensible to men. Men have accused women of being illogical for centuries, barring women from prominent decision-making positions because of their supposed frailty and lack of reasoning ability. The Gospel of Connie reveals the truth about this long-held belief in female inferiority.
Women have as much logic as men, it is their goals and methods which are different. Men usually see accomplishment -- doing something important or difficult -- as the ultimate goal. Women view their own pleasure as the ultimate goal.
The art of making women happy has mystified men for so many centuries that in recent years they had largely given up trying, before "Bob" came along and rekindled interest in the subject. Women have strong urges to communicate their desires, but men are often baffled by the seemingly contradictory messages women send. At one time a woman wants to be cradled and held, at another time she wants to be strong and independent. Women's ability to completely change their outlook on life from moment to moment frustrates men, who feel that these changes are intended solely to confuse them. Be confused no more! Constant change is the Way of Connie, the way of all women.
Expect change, learn to thrive on uncertainty, and most importantly, listen, listen, listen. Like thunderstorms, women often send warning signals that indicate a change in their attitudes.
Many gurus, including "Bob," claim that happiness is solely an inner experience that need not depend on external circumstances. This may be true, but the fact remains that a cruel remark, or a disappointment, or sheer boredom with life affects people, and causes unhappiness. Women are especially affected by negative interactions with other people, because women are more attuned to the social structure and human dynamics. Where men see a room full of people, women see a complex web of affections and enmity spiraling off into the past and future. The Eye of Connie is a heavy burden indeed!
Men, whose goals are primarily centered around achievement, usually ignore the unhappiness caused by bad feelings from other people. As long as they are achieving their goals, social acceptance is not very important to them. Women see any form of unhappiness as something to be dealt with, a problem. They seek to immediately regain happiness. A ready supply of shoulders to cry on, comforting arms, and blatant flattery is the key to restoring a woman's happiness. Never ridicule a woman for wanting to cry, even if you cannot understand the logic of it. Women deal with the subtle web of social intrigue, as well as the inner shifts of complex hormones, and sometimes they just need to cry. You men may never understand this, but it is the Way of Connie.
The essence of womanhood is declared in Cyndi Lauper's girl anthem "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun." Truer words were never spoken. If you want to win and keep women, make sure that you are fun to be around. This doesn't mean keeping up a steady stream of jokes and talk: most women find extremely talkative men [or extremely quiet men] boring. Every woman has her own idea of what is fun. Give her that, and she'll always want to be with you. Try to hide her away from the rest of the world, and she'll end up marching down the street as part of an all-girl party militia. Heed the Way of Connie!! The New New NEW New Way!!
Original file name: Connietite Pamphlet.txt.txt - converted on Monday, 21 July 2003, 13:47
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