Batmans

From: "nu-monet v5.0" <nothing@succeeds.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Reply-To: like.excess@sex.org
Date: Sat, Nov 2, 2002 4:49 PM

So, it's kind of like "catch and release",
see? Batman catches the bad guys doing bad
stuff and then he

FUCKS THEM UP THE ASS AND LETS THEM GO!

Which explains a lot of things. First of all,
only the real monsters get put in prison or
the Arkham Asylum. The ones that Batman
doesn't want to

FUCK UP THE ASS!

But ones like Poison Ivy, or Harley, or hell,
even The Joker, Batman

FUCKS UP THE ASS AND LETS THEM GO!

Which is why they look that way when he catches
them. Not angry or anything. Just that weird
expression somebody gets when they know that
Batman is going to

FUCK THEM UP THE ASS AND THERE'S NOTHING THEY
CAN DO ABOUT IT!

Yep. All too soon they'll be back on the street.
Maybe walking funny and having to shoplift some
hemorrhoid cream. But hey!, it's not like they
have to do TIME or be pumped full of anti-
psychotic drugs or forced to attend group therapy
sessions or other dehumanizing shit. The only
thing they have to worry about, and that, only if
they get caught, mind you, is that Batman will

FUCK THEM UP THE ASS THEN LETS THEM GO!

Which is like a license. They can commit murder,
armed robbery, even go on a fucking rampage without
fear of punishment, except the possibility that
Batman will catch them and

FUCK THEM UP THE ASS BEFORE HE LETS THEM GO!

Sounds fair.

--
"This hedgehog will live with us!"

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From: friday@fridayjones.com (Friday Jones)

In article <3DC448BB.39F0@succeeds.com>, like.excess@sex.org wrote:

For the really naughty, naughty criminals, Batman sees how many widgets
from his utility belt will fit in their bum.

Laziness is a lot like efficiency. In fact, laziness usually creates efficiency.

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From: Joe Cosby <joecosby@SPAMBLOCKmindspring.com>

On Sun, 03 Nov 2002 04:56:03 GMT, "Alliekatt"
<alleykatzen@hotmail.com> wrote:

>
>"nu-monet v5.0" <nothing@succeeds.com> wrote in message
>news:3DC448BB.39F0@succeeds.com...
>> So, it's kind of like "catch and release",
>> see? Batman catches the bad guys doing bad
>> stuff and then he
>>
>> FUCKS THEM UP THE ASS AND LETS THEM GO!
>
>Yeah well I WHUPPED BATMAN'S ASS.
>
>Batman got on my nerves
>He was running me amok
>He ridiculed me calling me a bum
>
>I wupped Batman's ass
>I wupped Batman's ass
>I wupped Batman's ass
>I wupped Batman's ass
>I wupped Batman's ass
>I wupped Batman's ass
>
>Batman thought he was bad
>He was a fucking asshole in the first place
>He got knocked to the floor
>
>I wupped Batman's ass
>I wupped Batman's ass
>I wupped Batman's ass
>I wupped Batman's ass
>I wupped Batman's ass
>
>Batman beat the hell out of me and knocked me to the floor
>I got back up and knocked him to the floor
>He was being such a jackoff
>
>I wupped Batman's ass
>I wupped Batman's ass
>I wupped Batman's ass
>I wupped Batman's ass
>I wupped Batman's ass
>I wupped Batman's ass
>I wupped Batman's ass
>I wupped Batman's ass
>I wupped Batman's ass
>I wupped Batman's ass
>I wupped Batman's ass
>
>Wheaties, breakfast of champions
>
>-St. Wesley Willis
>
>
>

stop me if you've heard this one

So this nun is walking down the street minding her own business and
out of nowhere this guy walks up to her and WHAM punches her right in
the fucking face about as hard as he can and her knees buckle and she
goes halfway down on one knee and the guy just LAYS RIGHT THE FUCK
INTO HER, WHAM WHAM BAM left cross right cross right upside her head
and just knocks the FUCK right OUT of her and she goes down.

So the guy stands over her and says "SEE? YEAH, YOU AIN'T SO -BAD-
AFTER ALL, ARE YOU BATMAN?"

so, that's it.

--
Joe Cosby
http://joecosby.home.mindspring.com

"I swear, I would sell my soul for a decent short game.
Of course, it's a little late for that. I don't suppose I could
offer your soul, huh? Really help me on the green.
I'm just funning."
--Mayor Wilkins "Buffy the Vampire Slayer"

Sig by Kookie Jar 5.98d http://go.to/generalfrenetics/

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Blackout" <blackout@404Subgenius.com>

Artist :
Mucky Pup
Songtitle :

Batman

Thought you were smart
Bought a whore
Then came Batman through the dark
Instead of fucking that stupid slut
You got eight inches up your butt

Batman! Batman!
Batman! Batman!

Thought you were smart
Bought a whore
Then came Batman through the dark
Instead of fucking that stupid slut
You got eight stitches up your butt

Batman! Batman!
Batman! Batman!

Saw Batman the buttripper
I'll rip your butt like a canopener
Batman the buttripper
I'll use your butt like a canopener man!

- Mucky Pup song based on the hooker/bondage/fat batman buttfucker popping
out of the closet legend

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: IMBJR <imbjr@imbjr.com>

On Sat, 2 Nov 2002 15:45:50 -0800, "ICEKNIFE" <icNOekSPAMnife@lmi.net>
wrote:

>you go to hell
>
>you go to hell and die, you bastard.
>
>BATMAN IS NOT A FAG.
>
>JOEL SHUMACHER IS A FAG, NOT BATMAN!
>
>get Superman to do it, he's light in the loafers.
>
>leave BATMAN alone, you dirty rat bastrid.

Cum'on! All that rubber he wears has got to mean summit.

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From: "nu-monet v5.0" <nothing@succeeds.com>

ICEKNIFE ewort:
>
> "nu-monet v5.0" worted:
>
> > So, it's kind of like "catch and release",
> > see? Batman catches the bad guys doing bad
> > stuff and then he
> >
> > FUCKS THEM UP THE ASS AND LETS THEM GO!
> >
>
> you go to hell
>
> you go to hell and die, you bastard.
>
> BATMAN IS NOT A FAG.
>
> JOEL SHUMACHER IS A FAG, NOT BATMAN!
>
> get Superman to do it, he's light in the loafers.
>
> leave BATMAN alone, you dirty rat bastrid.

I didn't SAY that BATMAN was a FAGGOT!

I just said he FUCKS bad guys up the ASS!

He doesn't even LIKE anal sex--but he's GOT TO
TEACH THEM A LESSON!

If you BREAK THE LAW in Gotham, then BATMAN'S
GONNA FUCK YOU UP THE ASS!

And it don't really matter if it's the Joker or if
it's Harley, when BM WHIPS OUT HIS GIANT MAN-MEAT
THEY KNOW THAT THEY DONE WRONG AND ARE GONNA GET
ASS-FUCKED TO WITHIN AN INCH OF THEIR stomach or
spleen or somethin'.

It's also like that when Batman works undercover
at the Gotham bus station men's room. You see,
NO MATTER HOW HARD THEM FAGGOTS SUCK ON BATMAN'S
ROD--HE *WON'T* GIVE THEM THE *PLEASURE* OF BLOWING
HIS BAT-LOAD ALL OVER THEIR FACE!

Why? Because THE BAT-MAN AIN'T GAY! As soon as
he KNOWS that they are BREAKING THE LAW BY TRYING
TO COMMIT A HOMOSEXUAL ACT ON HIM BY MAKING HIM
BLOW HIS BAT-LOAT ALL OVER THEIR FACE, HE SPINS
THEM AROUND AND RAMS HIS MIGHTY BAT-TOOL SO FAR
UP THEIR POOTER THAT IT DAMN NEAR SPLITS THEM
FAGGOTS IN HALF!

And THAT'LL TEACH 'EM BETTER THAN ANY WIMPY PRISON
CELL WOULD!

IF YOU BREAK THE LAW IN GOTHAM--
THEN BATMAN'S GONNA FUCK YOU UP THE ASS!
And let you go.

And he doesn't even need to dress up like Batman to
do that, either. He can still be plain ol' Bruce
Wayne and do like a citizen's ass-fucking.

--
Whine whine. Bitch bitch.
-- Philbert Desenex

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "nu-monet v5.0" <nothing@succeeds.com>

ICEKNIFE wrote:
>
> Also please note that Robin 1 (Richard Grayson)
> did yard work and worked on the cars, but NEVER
> did housework, no matter how much Alfred
> threatened.
>

The first Robin was Dirk Diggler.

Nobody even mentioned the big black leather
Bat-dildo or the Bat-butt plugs.

Or the Bat-nipple clamps. Or the Bat-poopy
black latex Depends.

Or the Bat-Gerbil. Can't forget ol' "Barty".

--
I don't know what you're talking about.
I've never met you before in my life.
That story sounds like utter bullshit.
I wasn't there and it wasn't me.
I am *not* in denial. Shut up.
--nu-monet

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Original file name: Batmans.txt.txt - converted on Monday, 21 July 2003, 13:47