Re: FINE! BE THAT WAY!!

From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Sat, May 4, 2002 2:40 PM

> Rev. Magdalen wrote:
> >
> > I WORK and I SLAVE to put the Ikon and the Connie picture
> > onto items for you people, and not a SINGLE person can
> > bother to write back and say "Gee, those look great!" or
> > even "What took you so damn long, I've been wanting an Ikon
> > travel mug for YEARS now!" Nooooooo, you're all just TOO
> > busy with your squirrels and your pedophile priests and your
> > Invader Zim!!! Well FINE! FINE I say!! I don't need your
> > appreciation! My KITTENS still love me, and that's all I
> > need in this cold, cruel world!
> >

I wish my company could buy some of those GREAT looking products, but
times have been tough lately! Where I work (a small mail order
business), they had to cut back on expenditures such as paychecks
because sales had dropped off so severely. Something about the
Internet crashing into some buildings? All I know is, I would support
your organization if I could, but my organization can't afford it at
this time.

--
4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected (Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
P.O. Box 181417, Cleveland, OH 44118 (fax 216-320-9528)
A subsidiary of:
The SubGenius Foundation, Inc. / P.O. Box 204206, Austin, TX 78720-4206
Dobbs-Approved Authorized Commercial Outreach of The Church of the SubGenius
SubSITE: http://www.subgenius.com
For SubGenius Biz & Orders: call toll free to 1-888-669-2323
or email: jesus@subgenius.com
PRABOB

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From: "Rev. Magdalen" <magdalen@subgenius.com>

"Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com> wrote in message
news:040520021440472734%stang@subgenius.com...

> I wish my company could buy some of those GREAT looking products, but
> times have been tough lately! Where I work (a small mail order
> business), they had to cut back on expenditures such as paychecks
> because sales had dropped off so severely. Something about the
> Internet crashing into some buildings? All I know is, I would support
> your organization if I could, but my organization can't afford it at
> this time.

Don't worry, I hear that we're rounding up the last few straggling Al Quaida
fighters that we think are somewhere in some hills somewhere, and I'm sure
that once we're sure we've got them all then the economy will just bounce
right back to the good old days!

Besides, I didn't really actually SLAVE, you know, I just like, clicked the
mouse a bunch of times and stuff. But still! People should be shouting for
joy the way they were always going on and on about "when are there going to
be ikon shirts"! Humph!

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From: "Rev. Magdalen" <magdalen@subgenius.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Sat, May 4, 2002 3:49 PM
Message-ID: <PWWA8.30847$Q42.1857624@typhoon.austin.rr.com>

"iDRMRSR" <idrmrsr@subgenius.com> wrote in message
news:92D662EAB1904B6D.7BA453ADE2FC287E.E1B3DE4F8C10C9B3@lp.airnews.net...
> Hey, I did MORE than just say "oooh, way cOOOOl!". I bought a
> bob-damned shirt. With Pink money wheedled from the CON through evil
> intentions and the usual SubG skullbuggery.
>
> So FUCK your cats. I'm due a little loving now!

Well, Ok, YOU alone are Worthy of loving my cats. But they are too small
for that sort of thing. You will have to make do with watching them
wrestle. I tell you it's nothing but wrestling 24 hours a day with those
guys!

Boy howdy you're sure going to look cool in that shirt! I bet you get tons
of people to become members just based on the coolness of that shirt!
People will be coming up to you going, "That face... I've seen that face
before! What IS it!! I must know!" And before you know it you'll have
dozens of notches on your bedpost and bragging rights up the wazoo! You'll
be all like, "Oh THAT guy, yeah, I know him... in fact, *I* got him IN to
the Church, way back when. Yeah, he saw my shirt and just had to know
more!" It'll be super cool!

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Reverend DJ Epoch <nunyabiz@noway.com>

Hey YOU!! *I* happened to BUY (with my OWN money, thankyew) a fantabulous
coffee mug! (Which, BTW, I *DID* thank you for getting sent out to the
Epoch fortified compound even though it did not arrive on my birthday!
humph!) And in a month or so I will also be buying some tres chic
ikonwear for DJing pool parties and such.

Anyway, those squirrels are spying on me! I KNOW it! I can't turn my back
on them for a minute! One of them looks just like John Asscrunt. I would
have nailed him with the .22 if he didn't move so damned fast...

I do believe that YOUR KITTENS are giving you an attitude! I can see that
look in your eyes as you watch the hypnotic kitten frolicing and hear you
saying "The kittens command me! I must obey the kittens..."

> That and crescent rolls.
>
> MMmmmmm!

Of course... the crescent rolls must be obeyed...

>
> Feh on you guys!
>
>
eh.... yeah. Whatever.

----
Reverend DJ Epoch
Doing his part to stimulate the SubGenius economy...

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Original file name: Re- FINE! BE THAT WA.txt - converted on Thursday, 29 May 2003, 19:17