Tithe, Dammit

From: "St. Marc the Perpetually Amused" <disciple@templeoferis.org>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Wed, Feb 6, 2002 5:45 PM

I'm SERIOUS, people!

I realized my tithing was in arrears this morning (normally, "Bob" is in
favor of anything in a-rears but NOT MONEY FOR THE CHURCH!) I did some
calculatin' and PayPal'd it right the hell off to jesus@subgenius.com.

NOT TWO HOURS LATER, I found out that I would probably be receiving some
dough in excess of TEN TIMES what I had tardily transmitted to "Bob" via
Jesus and Mary Magdalen, his chosen agents. Also, I got excellent news about
something which had looked to have gone bad for my employer - and which
might result later in YET MORE DOUGH. And to boot, Dominick's had my
preferred brand of malted battery acid on sale *IMPOSSIBLY* cheap as well as
day-old cocktail shrimp on clearance. (They're FROZEN. What the hell do I
care if they're a week old? I just use them to get cocktail sauce into my
mouth anyway. It dissolves the spoons too fast.) And as I ate lunch in the
little cafe, a rather lovely woman with a sexy-as-hell Russian accent sat
facing me in the next booth for my viewing pleasure.

It's sort of like those studies they do that show sometimes sick people who
are prayed for get better faster. Who knows how it works? Who cares? IT
WORKS! That PayPal address again is jesus@subgenius.com. Don't have PayPal?
Send a check to the Sacred PO Box. Or, better yet, sign up for PayPal with
the Church as your referrer and earn valuable bonus tithings! Click, click,
click your way to happiness and success with this link:

https://www.paypal.com/affil/pal=jesus%40subgenius.com

Operators are standing by!

St. Marc

"You do not have a soul. You are a soul. You *have* a body."

---C.S. Lewis

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Original file name: Tithe, Dammit.txt - converted on Thursday, 29 May 2003, 19:17