Hour of Slack causes violent vomiting and diarrhea

From: "Fredric L. Rice" <FRice@SkepticTank.ORG>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Wed, Jan 16, 2002 3:05 PM

I checked out five of the hour-long audio recordings available at
"Hour of Slack." They were bad. Really bad. The quality of the
recording efforts is rather like Battlefield Earth only without John
Travolta and his hanging snot ropes. It was that bad. "Hour of
Slack" is so bad, even Elvira, Mistress of the Dark wouldn't be
able to turn them into something campy and thus good. They
were so bad I was fondly reminded of FreeThoughtRadio.COM.

So, I have a recommendation to the people who put "Hour of
Slack" together. Please consider my recommendation carefully
because I like the idea behind having audio slack and it would
kickwere it done right.

Here's how to make it better: Contact the Needles, California
offices of the Beurea of Land Management and them about their
burro adoption program. Get the forms and apply to adopt one
of their burros, taking special care to include any fees required.

When your burro arives in the mail, take a CD that has all of
your "Hour of Slack" audio recordings on it and feed it to the
animal. You might have to break up the CD to sneak it into his
feed but I'm sure you can get the animal to eat it.

In a cople of days after the burro has had time to process your
work, collected your refined audio records from the rest of the
steming pile of crap, spread the crap on a corn tortilla, insert
the corn tortilla into your CD copying machine, and run off CDs
and also post the improved recordings to your web site.

No, no. No need to thank me. Glad to help.

--
Dial M: http://www.LisaMcPherson.COM
Dial F: http://www.SlatkinFraud.COM/
Dial R: http://www.RaulLopez.ORG/
----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Modemac <modemac@modemac.com>

On Wed, 16 Jan 2002 20:05:29 GMT, "Fredric L. Rice"
<FRice@SkepticTank.ORG> wrote:
>I checked out five of the hour-long audio recordings available at
>"Hour of Slack." They were bad. Really bad. The quality of the
>recording efforts is rather like Battlefield Earth only without John
>Travolta and his hanging snot ropes. It was that bad. "Hour of
>Slack" is so bad, even Elvira, Mistress of the Dark wouldn't be
>able to turn them into something campy and thus good. They
>were so bad I was fondly reminded of FreeThoughtRadio.COM.

You must not have been listening to the Hour of Slack when it *first*
went online, before it was improved with these fancy shmancy MP3 feed
thingies.

--
First Online Church of "Bob"
http://www.modemac.com/
----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: HellPope Huey <hellpopehuey@subspamgeenyus.com>

Maybe so, but once I hose myself off, I feel REALLY FRESH, inside and out. Best
gawdamned emetic/laxative since "Me & the Chimp" went off the air.

HellPope Huey, hellpopehuey@subgenius.com
OH MY SWEET DOBBS! A GIANT FLY!
And its OPEN, AIEEE!!

"'X-Files' is mysterious; YOU're a head job."
- "Bob Patterson"

"It isn't the flags on your car,
its changing the car."
- Bill Maher

"..and then he got the bloody Victoria's Cross
for gettin' his ARSE shot off!"
- "The Man Who Would Be King"

Hunter S. Thompson speaks
http://espn.go.com/page2/s/thompson/index.html
----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "The Not Quite Sane One" <blargh---spam---3@yahoo.com>

"HellPope Huey" <hellpopehuey@subspamgeenyus.com> wrote in message
news:a257tt02q2m@drn.newsguy.com...
>
> Maybe so, but once I hose myself off, I feel REALLY FRESH, inside
and
> out. Best
> gawdamned emetic/laxative since "Me & the Chimp" went off the air.

"A definite excremeditation enhancer," rave critics.

--
Rev. St. Klyf "Not Max Cannon" the Not-Quite-Sane, ESB

"Ain't no sin to take off your skin
and dance around in your bones."
--Tom Waits "The Black Rider"
----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>

In article <3C45DD8C.B06A4387@SkepticTank.ORG>, Fredric L. Rice
<FRice@SkepticTank.ORG> wrote:

> I checked out five of the hour-long audio recordings available at
> "Hour of Slack." They were bad. Really bad. The quality of the
> recording efforts is rather like Battlefield Earth only without John
> Travolta and his hanging snot ropes. It was that bad.

Honestly, that's the first time in the 5 years the shows have been
online that I have ever heard that complaint! Well, since the
TrueSpeech versions anyway.

And to think -- a dozen college and indie stations have actually PAID
MONEY to play those horrible shows. For YEARS. Over 15 years in some
cases! Then there are several more smaller (or overseas) that just
download the stereo MP3 versions and broadcast those. Go figure!

"Hour of
> Slack" is so bad, even Elvira, Mistress of the Dark wouldn't be
> able to turn them into something campy and thus good.

So what's old Elvira been up to lately?

They
> were so bad I was fondly reminded of FreeThoughtRadio.COM.
>
> So, I have a recommendation to the people who put "Hour of
> Slack" together. Please consider my recommendation carefully
> because I like the idea behind having audio slack and it would
> kickwere it done right.

But seriously, tell how you would do it differently. What exactly were
you envisioning? "Better audio quality" doesn't count; there's nothing
we can do to improve the Real Media codec or to change your modem to
broadband.

Some people listen to the live streamed versions from WREK, WCSB, and
some of the other stations... how which works depends on where you live
and what your gear is.

--
4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected
P.O. Box 181417, Cleveland, OH 44118 (fax 216-320-9528)
A subsidiary of:
The SubGenius Foundation, Inc. / P.O. Box 140306, Dallas, TX 75214
SubSITE: http://www.subgenius.com PRABOB
----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Fredric L. Rice" <FRice@SkepticTank.ORG>

Modemac wrote:

> You must not have been listening to the Hour of Slack when it *first*
> went online, before it was improved with these fancy shmancy MP3 feed
> thingies.

No such luck, no. I listened to #814 through #819.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Fredric L. Rice" <FRice@SkepticTank.ORG>

HellPope Huey wrote:

> Maybe so, but once I hose myself off, I feel REALLY FRESH, inside and out. Best
> gawdamned emetic/laxative since "Me & the Chimp" went off the air.

Ah, a valuable purgative. I didn't think of the marketing possibilities.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Fredric L. Rice" <FRice@SkepticTank.ORG>

"Rev. Ivan Stang" wrote:

> Honestly, that's the first time in the 5 years the shows have been
> online that I have ever heard that complaint! Well, since the
> TrueSpeech versions anyway.

Ah but maybe I'm the only one ever to actually make it
all the way through one of them. }:-} What was distressing
was the jumbled talking over each other which made me
think of guys that stand behind television news reporters
and jump all over each other trying to get on television to
wave to the audience like idiots screaming, "Hi, mom!"
There was a lack of focus and organization, a lack of any
_goal_ or Subgeni ideology being _sold_ to the listener.

Maybe that's the whole point: having disjointed, jumbled
sessions of thoughtless, meandering noise. But for me, at
least, if I wanted that I'd tune in to Rush Limbaugh.

And Timothy Leary? What a has-been. Audio sessions
from insane CON nutters like Limbaugh and "Dr." Laura
might help. Man-in-the-street interviews of flying saucer
and alien abductees might help. Stuff related to the CON,
the Xists, the need to send in your $30 bucks, what will
happen to you if you don't, and coverage of how the
corporations like Monsanto work into the CONspiracy
might help.

The sound bites taken from commercial media that _are_
on Hour of Slack I quite liked. Imagine what good,
marketable materials could be extracted from the likes
of "Highway to Heaven," "Touched by an Angel," and
"Mother Angelica." "Dr." Laura and Limbaugh's nut
rants are good but television is where the CON really
shines. Television and commercial radio.

Understandably I suspect you don't want to get into
a venue where you're like the other devo, punkish
alternative radio that's out there transmitting with 10-watt
transmitters in college universities where listeners are
treated to an audio version of art deco and a rehash of
beatnick bop. Such venues presume to expose and
examine the "human condition" by pretending to show
the futility of man's existance through the vampt stupidity
of its television. Focusing upon the CON, examining
the robotic, mindless trudge to and from work for a
faceless corporation, finding relief in the plattitudes of
commercial television and its advertisements -- "Do
you suffer from hemmorids?" -- the Hour of Slack
_could_ become better focused and improve its content
and marketability by setting SubGenii / Yeti goals and
piecing together content that actually becomes something
of a commentary on Subgeni ideology.

Calling up and recording audio with public relations firms
of major CON corporations, for instance, asking them
embarrassing questions to see how they'll spin it or see if
they'll threaten to call the FBI on you or see if they'll just
do the smart thing and hang up on you. Hour of Slack
_could_ become _proactive_ and stimulate the CON, pull
on the CON's chain, get the CON's Pinks to react. If
Hour of Slack just collects audio and strings it together,
it's static, not dynamic. It's merely reporting rather than
kicking the Pinks for the amusement of the Saved.

> And to think -- a dozen college and indie stations have actually PAID
> MONEY to play those horrible shows. For YEARS. Over 15 years in some
> cases! Then there are several more smaller (or overseas) that just
> download the stereo MP3 versions and broadcast those. Go figure!

Hell, there's something like 35,000 people in Scientology, too.
And about a million people just absolutely love crack cocain.
People all over the world drink their own urin because they
believe it has health benefits. Tens of thousands of people
still worship Jimmy Swaggart. Lots of people think that Mother
Angelica is a real person -- I've received three e-mails from
people who think that.

Maybe I'm that unique asshole in the world -- that rare,
glittering exception -- that has an opinion and is just the type
of buttwhipe to whine about it. }:-}

> > "Hour of
> > Slack" is so bad, even Elvira, Mistress of the Dark wouldn't be
> > able to turn them into something campy and thus good.
>
> So what's old Elvira been up to lately?

Grandma still does the theature circuit. }:-} As one of my
sons said when she came on the television, "There they are."

> > They were so bad I was fondly reminded of FreeThoughtRadio.COM.
> > So, I have a recommendation to the people who put "Hour of
> > Slack" together. Please consider my recommendation carefully
> > because I like the idea behind having audio slack and it would
> > kickwere it done right.
>
> But seriously, tell how you would do it differently. What exactly were
> you envisioning? "Better audio quality" doesn't count; there's nothing
> we can do to improve the Real Media codec or to change your modem to
> broadband.

Since you're apparently not funded, and since I'm apparently
the only one who didn't like it, <heh> the problem must be
mine, not yours. }:-}

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Arbane the Terrible <arbane@attbi.com>

Fredric L. Rice wrote:

> Calling up and recording audio with public relations firms
> of major CON corporations, for instance, asking them
> embarrassing questions to see how they'll spin it or see if
> they'll threaten to call the FBI on you or see if they'll just
> do the smart thing and hang up on you. Hour of Slack
> _could_ become _proactive_ and stimulate the CON, pull
> on the CON's chain, get the CON's Pinks to react. If
> Hour of Slack just collects audio and strings it together,
> it's static, not dynamic. It's merely reporting rather than
> kicking the Pinks for the amusement of the Saved.

Not a bad idea...

Last time I checked, Stang makes the show (which I'm listening to right now
and, somehow, keeping my breakfast down,) from material sent in by
listeners.

Think it's lame? Get a tape recorder? Utilize the First Key of SubGenius
Magjyck: GET OFF YOUR ASS.

--
"Remember, the plural of 'moron' is 'focus group'."
-- James A. Wolf
----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Blackout" <blackout@404infomagic.net>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Thu, Jan 17, 2002 5:21 PM
Message-ID: <s8I18.264$7g1.200194@news.uswest.net>

"Fredric L. Rice" wrote

> Understandably I suspect you don't want to get into
> a venue where you're like the other devo, punkish
> alternative radio that's out there transmitting with 10-watt
> transmitters in college universities where listeners are
> treated to an audio version of art deco and a rehash of
> beatnick bop. Such venues presume to expose and
> examine the "human condition" by pretending to show
> the futility of man's existance through the vampt stupidity
> of its television. Focusing upon the CON, examining
> the robotic, mindless trudge to and from work for a
> faceless corporation, finding relief in the plattitudes of
> commercial television and its advertisements -- "Do
> you suffer from hemmorids?" -- the Hour of Slack
> _could_ become better focused and improve its content
> and marketability by setting SubGenii / Yeti goals and
> piecing together content that actually becomes something
> of a commentary on Subgeni ideology.
>
> Calling up and recording audio with public relations firms
> of major CON corporations, for instance, asking them
> embarrassing questions to see how they'll spin it or see if
> they'll threaten to call the FBI on you or see if they'll just
> do the smart thing and hang up on you. Hour of Slack
> _could_ become _proactive_ and stimulate the CON, pull
> on the CON's chain, get the CON's Pinks to react. If
> Hour of Slack just collects audio and strings it together,
> it's static, not dynamic. It's merely reporting rather than
> kicking the Pinks for the amusement of the Saved.

> Hell, there's something like 35,000 people in Scientology, too.
> And about a million people just absolutely love crack cocain.
> People all over the world drink their own urin because they
> believe it has health benefits. Tens of thousands of people
> still worship Jimmy Swaggart. Lots of people think that Mother
> Angelica is a real person -- I've received three e-mails from
> people who think that.
>
> Maybe I'm that unique asshole in the world -- that rare,
> glittering exception -- that has an opinion and is just the type
> of buttwhipe to whine about it. }:-}

those are some GREAT IDEAS, fuckface! now quit being such a lazy
motherfucker and GO DO THEM YOURSELF! start the book of the gubsenius
and RUN IT JUST THEY WAY YOU WANT TO! you talk the talk, now it's time
for the little remora to get off the shark and put them ideas to WORK!
devote your WHOLE FUCKING LIFE TO THEM and then see how it turns out for
you. and if you're lucky, maybe in 15 or twenty years, some no talent do
nothing ASSWIPE will email you and let you know how FLAWED your whole
premise is and the whole cycle can start again.

it's YOUR MOVE, brainiac. THE WHOLE WORLD IS WATCHING
----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Reverend DJ Epoch <nunyabiz@noway.com>

"Fredric L. Rice" wrote:

<< snip >>>

> Man-in-the-street interviews of flying saucer
> and alien abductees might help. Stuff related to the CON,
> the Xists, the need to send in your $30 bucks, what will
> happen to you if you don't, and coverage of how the
> corporations like Monsanto work into the CONspiracy
> might help.
>

GREAT idea, Speedo! Hit Rat Shack, grab the cassette special du jour and
HIT THOSE BRICKS! Plenty of wholesome ear goodness can be found during
lunch hour in damned near any location. You don't really DO anything
during those lunch hours, right?

Just think! YOU could become the Heraldo of the SubG! Or the next Katie
Courack, depending on your fashion tastes... AND improve programming
content. Wear a button that says 'Journalist for "Bob"', get out to a
mall where NOBODY would know you, and ask the TOUGH questions every Yeti
want to hear answered...

> The sound bites taken from commercial media that _are_
> on Hour of Slack I quite liked. Imagine what good,
> marketable materials could be extracted from the likes
> of "Highway to Heaven," "Touched by an Angel," and
> "Mother Angelica." "Dr." Laura and Limbaugh's nut
> rants are good but television is where the CON really
> shines. Television and commercial radio.
>

Personally, I'd love to see a version just for us SubG called "Touched
by A Hell's Angel", following the adventures of Angelic Monica Lewinski
as she joins the ranks of a motorcycle gang and gives each of them
"Presidential" treatment as she tries to convert them to the CotSG.

> Focusing upon the CON, examining
> the robotic, mindless trudge to and from work for a
> faceless corporation, finding relief in the plattitudes of
> commercial television and its advertisements -- "Do
> you suffer from hemmorids?" -- the Hour of Slack
> _could_ become better focused and improve its content
> and marketability by setting SubGenii / Yeti goals and
> piecing together content that actually becomes something
> of a commentary on Subgeni ideology.
>

Congratulations, you've been assigned position of assistant writer to
HoS. We'd like to see those first drafts by next week. Post here for
markup and rewrite at least two weeks before deadline of the show you'd
like your script to appeear prominently in. I'm sure that Rev. Stang
would agree that ANYONE could write their own script submissions for
subject matter / rants / CON intel reports / Yeti recipe suggestions /
ritual discussions / etc.

....and no, I don't suffer from hemorrhoids. I suffer from HERmorrhoids,
especially when the She-Beast PHB talks out her ass. But that's another
subject...

Been done, except it's usually described as "The Prank Call of the Day"
by your local radio station. Like calling AT&T Broadband and asking the
manager WHY a cable connection was installed in the bathroom next to the
bidet. Most have caller ID now, so you'd want to do it from someplace
like an office lobby or payphone.

> Hour of Slack
> _could_ become _proactive_ and stimulate the CON, pull
> on the CON's chain, get the CON's Pinks to react. If
> Hour of Slack just collects audio and strings it together,
> it's static, not dynamic. It's merely reporting rather than
> kicking the Pinks for the amusement of the Saved.

The moment we become big enough to make a dent in the CONs threatcon
screens, be ready to show the nice stormtroopers where you keep our
subversive pamphlets and materials. Oh, be sure to shread and burn any
materials referring to Dubyah, Cheeney, Enron, The WTC, The FBI, IRS and
any and all references to Scientology, they're smart enough to just give
all that over to ElRon and let him do their dirty work and claim
plausible deniability. Be sure to have no newspapers in house and redact
any items in your TV Guide that would indicate shows giving out useful
information on any of this. You've never been in the same room with
anyone from Afghanistan in the last 20 years, have you?

>
> > And to think -- a dozen college and indie stations have actually PAID
> > MONEY to play those horrible shows. For YEARS. Over 15 years in some
> > cases! Then there are several more smaller (or overseas) that just
> > download the stereo MP3 versions and broadcast those. Go figure!
>
> Hell, there's something like 35,000 people in Scientology, too.
> And about a million people just absolutely love crack cocain.
> People all over the world drink their own urin because they
> believe it has health benefits. Tens of thousands of people
> still worship Jimmy Swaggart. Lots of people think that Mother
> Angelica is a real person -- I've received three e-mails from
> people who think that.

And don't forget Jimmy Stewart's invisible rabbit Harvey. He's working
for the CIA now rooting out tunnels in Jalalabad. It was in the Enquirer
and they're NEVER wrong!

>
> Maybe I'm that unique asshole in the world -- that rare,
> glittering exception -- that has an opinion and is just the type
> of buttwhipe to whine about it. }:-}

Fine.... you wanna whine? Or you wanna be part of the solution? (And
wbhich IS the way of the Yeti?) Oh, BTW, you're out of toilet paper
again...

> Since you're apparently not funded, and since I'm apparently
> the only one who didn't like it, <heh> the problem must be
> mine, not yours. }:-}
>

So... it's unpolished. So.. it's unrefined. Well, so are my shoes, and
they're comfy as hell. But some people just have to have those Python
boots. :) 60 Minutes production needs on a cable access channel
budget... and a one-horse operation most of the time to boot...

--
Rev. DJ Epoch

"This Church is so big on titties that it's almost mandatory for all our
front doors to have knockers." - Paul E. Jamison
----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Her Ladyship Lilith von Fraumench <lilith@ZubJenius.com>

In article <3C470F6D.AA0DA704@SkepticTank.ORG>, Fredric L. Rice
<FRice@SkepticTank.ORG> wrote:

> focus and organization

I peed myself laughing. I hope you're proud, you sick fucker.

Her Ladyship Lilith

--
\m/ -=8=- http://lilith.foolspress.com/ -=8=- \m/
----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Fredric L. Rice" <FRice@SkepticTank.ORG>

Arbane the Terrible wrote:

> Fredric L. Rice wrote:

> Think it's lame? Get a tape recorder? Utilize the First Key of SubGenius
> Magjyck: GET OFF YOUR ASS.

No shit? If I sent in audio he would evaluate it and put it in?

--
Dial M: http://www.LisaMcPherson.COM
Dial F: http://www.SlatkinFraud.COM/
Dial R: http://www.RaulLopez.ORG/
----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Fredric L. Rice" <FRice@SkepticTank.ORG>

Her Ladyship Lilith von Fraumench wrote:

> I peed myself laughing. I hope you're proud, you sick fucker.

Ah, foreplay. Glad to see _some_ people still engage in it.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>

Whew, I was worried. But I can relax, now that I see where you're
coming from: that magical far-away Rainbow "Bob" world where SubGenius
shows have money, advertisers, staff, time and lawyers, even though
their main schtick denigrates almost all other humans' most cherished
beliefs.

I get the impression that you haven't worked in show business for very
long.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: prostata@bronze.coil.com (The Stinking Bishop Prostata Cantata MP)

In article <3C48842D.811BB255@SkepticTank.ORG>,
Fredric L. Rice <FRice@SkepticTank.ORG> wrote:
>Arbane the Terrible wrote:
>
>No shit? If I sent in audio he would evaluate it and put it in?

you must not have been paying much attention when you listened.
MOST of the shows are stuff that people have done and sent in or that
Stang has discovered somewhere. That and clips from the ESO radio show.

However, it seems to me (and I've listened to them a lot) that the stuff
people send in gets a higher priority if it's good and wierd.

it sounds like you have some cool ideas. I hope you follow through with
them. If you need help, ask for volunteers, you might get some.

--
-------
I have burped, farted, and sneezed at the same time, and I am still
alive. --Dan Povenmire, Los Angeles
----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Ricky Nielsen" <rickyn@lor.net>

"Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com> wrote in message
news:180120022023327991%stang@subgenius.com...
>
> Whew, I was worried. But I can relax, now that I see where you're
> coming from: that magical far-away Rainbow "Bob" world where SubGenius
> shows have money, advertisers, staff, time and lawyers, even though
> their main schtick denigrates almost all other humans' most cherished
> beliefs.
>
> I get the impression that you haven't worked in show business for very
> long.
>
>
Just don't ruin 'em Rev as it is they are one of the few things that keep me
from going down to Public Square with the ol' 30-30 and gettin my ugly mug
all over FOX news at ten
----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Her Ladyship Lilith von Fraumench <lilith@ZubJenius.com>

In article <3C4886A9.191ECA01@SkepticTank.ORG>, Fredric L. Rice
<FRice@SkepticTank.ORG> wrote:

> Ah, foreplay. Glad to see _some_ people still engage in it.

Watch it or I'll pull the wet panties over your head and lock it on. I
have the straps for that, you know.

Her Ladyship Lilith

--
\m/ -=8=- http://lilith.foolspress.com/ -=8=- \m/
----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Artemia Salina <y2k@sheayright.com>

"Fredric L. Rice" wrote:

> No shit? If I sent in audio he would evaluate it and put it in?

http://www.ibiblio.org/subgenius/ts/hos.html

"THE HOUR OF SLACK is produced weekly by
REV. IVAN STANG
PO Box 181417
Cleveland Hts, OH
44118-1417 USA
if you want to send tapes or CDs for possible exploitation."

You can also post shorter sound bites to alt.binaries.slack
and if Rev. Stang deems them appropriate he'll use them on HOS.

A couple of things to keep in mind when considering criticizing
HOS is that Stang manages to put an hour's worth of material
together every WEEK, BY HIMSELF; He doesn't have a crew of researches
scouring commercial audio archives, etc. for him. He relies quite a
bit on contributed material from listeners, who themselves have limited
time and resources. This is not to apologize for Stang or HOS; I'm
amazed that he's been able to put out a weekly show on his own for so
many years without burning out.

--
Artemia Salina -- http://www.drpez.com/drali1.htm
Electro-metric Phylarch Inexpleably Recarries Ethnographic Bihydroguret!!! Just ask Kevan!

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Her Ladyship Lilith von Fraumench <lilith@ZubJenius.com>

In article <ceba2a.5s31.ln@news.concourse.com>, The Stinking Bishop
Prostata Cantata MP <prostata@bronze.coil.com> wrote:

> you must not have been paying much attention when you listened.
> MOST of the shows are stuff that people have done and sent in or that
> Stang has discovered somewhere. That and clips from the ESO radio show.
>
> However, it seems to me (and I've listened to them a lot) that the stuff
> people send in gets a higher priority if it's good and wierd.

MONEY HELPS. "Bob" shows that taking bribes are OK if you're make sure
to say out loud, repeatedly, "THIS GUY BRIBED ME TO DO THIS." If the
other guy isn't a SubGenius, he'll try to deny it rather than go,
"Yeah, cool, now get on with it, Stang."

But yes, anyone who has doubts about getting something on the air can
slip a fiver in the usual slot. You know about that slot.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Her Ladyship Lilith von Fraumench <lilith@ZubJenius.com>

In article <180120022023327991%stang@subgenius.com>, Rev. Ivan Stang
<stang@subgenius.com> wrote:

> Whew, I was worried. But I can relax, now that I see where you're
> coming from: that magical far-away Rainbow "Bob" world where SubGenius
> shows have money, advertisers, staff, time and lawyers, even though
> their main schtick denigrates almost all other humans' most cherished
> beliefs.
>
> I get the impression that you haven't worked in show business for very
> long.

It's OK, we're telling him about the bribe system. Expect a tape and
some of that green stuff you like.

Her Ladyship Lilith

--
\m/ -=8=- http://lilith.foolspress.com/ -=8=- \m/
----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Tesla Coil <tescoil@devnull.ilbbs.com>

On 18 Jan 2002, Fredric L. Rice wrote:
>> Think it's lame? Get a tape recorder? Utilize the First Key
>> of SubGenius Magjyck: GET OFF YOUR ASS.
>
> No shit? If I sent in audio he would evaluate it and put it in?

A lotta the sound clips you said you liked were first posted
on alt.binaries.slack. I view all my Badfilm sacraments on
my computer via a $45 Hauppauge TV card. Audio feeds through
line-in; then all ya need is a wav recorder, soundfile editor,
mp3 encoder, and a video rental store that stocks the MD 20/20
of cinematic acheivements.

There's plenty of clips available on the web from movies that
any normal will recognize and the DJ from KPINK-FM would toss
into their morning program. Better if for most listeners the
origin of the dialogue is an inessential mystery and only the
chosen few out there in radioland are buzzed with realization
"That's from DEMON SEED!!! AIEEEEEEEEE!!! I *KNOW* THAT!!!"

Ideally, that's followed by the first 30 seconds or so of
"The Great Pretender" by Brian Eno, just to keep everybody
convinced there's no focus or organization to the program.
----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Artemia Salina <y2k@sheayright.com>

Hey Stang, since we're talking about HOS, I'm listening to
your "Poul Anderson" rant on #820 right now and I'm noticing
some coloration from echoes from your studio. I've been noticing
it since you set up your new studio. May I suggest that you try
to deaden those echoes somehow? It'd make the recordings sound
better. I don't know if you have a lot of stuff hanging on the
walls there, but you might want to try hanging some sort of
carpeting on the walls from the ceilings to the floor, and then
some carpet on the floor itself. Even cheaper and more effective
might be to get some dressing screens and a bunch of empty egg
cartons (the cardboard ones, not the styrofoam ones). Cover the
dressing screens with the egg cartons, with the "points" of the
"cones" pointing out, and then set them up around where you sit
at your mic. If you can't get egg cartons, you can pick up some
foam rubber matress pads (they're flat on one side and bumpy
on the other side). Use them in place of the egg cartons, bumpy
side out.

This won't give you a sound-proof "Cone of Silence"-type of recording
booth, like the really cool self-contained ones we have at the library
where I work, but it should bring those room echoes under control.

--
Artemia Salina -- http://www.drpez.com/drali1.htm
Hyperplastic Teleophore Higgledy-piggledy Apts Handed Nautch!!! Just ask Kevan!

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: HellPope Huey <hellpopehuey@subspamgeenyus.com>

"Hour of Slack causes violent vomiting and diarrhea"

Good, that means its still working and that $30 still MEANS something in this
GODDAMNED DEMENTED SLAUGHTERHOUSE OF A WORLD.

HellPope Huey, hellpopehuey@subgenius.com
Creator of the Teleporting Cat Box

"...and always remember
the last words of my grandfather,
who said 'A truck!'..."
- Emo Philips

"If you want to know what God thinks of money,
just look at the people He gave it to."
- Dorothy Parker

"You cannot drink
the cup of the Lord
and the cup of demons."
- I Corinthians 10:20-22
----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Col. Sphinx Drummond" <sphinx@subgenius.com>

"Fredric L. Rice" wrote:

> Focusing upon the CON, examining
> the robotic, mindless trudge to and from work for a
> faceless corporation, finding relief in the plattitudes of
> commercial television and its advertisements... the Hour of Slack
> _could_ become better focused and improve its content
> and marketability by setting SubGenii / Yeti goals and
> piecing together content that actually becomes something
> of a commentary on Subgeni ideology.

No, that would never work.

-Col. Sphinx Drummond TWSR
----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Col. Sphinx Drummond" <sphinx@subgenius.com>

Artemia Salina wrote:

>
> A couple of things to keep in mind when considering criticizing
> HOS is that Stang manages to put an hour's worth of material
> together every WEEK, BY HIMSELF; He doesn't have a crew of researches
> scouring commercial audio archives, etc. for him. He relies quite a
> bit on contributed material from listeners, who themselves have limited
> time and resources. This is not to apologize for Stang or HOS; I'm
> amazed that he's been able to put out a weekly show on his own for so
> many years without burning out.

He's like that bus in the movie Speed... if he ever stops he'll explode.

You people didn't think he did it for fun, fame, and fortune, did you?

-Col. Sphinx Drummond TWSR
----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>

In article <3C49BF17.BF5640B9@sheayright.com>, Artemia Salina
<y2k@sheayright.com> wrote:

> Hey Stang, since we're talking about HOS, I'm listening to
> your "Poul Anderson" rant on #820 right now and I'm noticing
> some coloration from echoes from your studio. I've been noticing
> it since you set up your new studio. May I suggest that you try
> to deaden those echoes somehow? It'd make the recordings sound
> better. I don't know if you have a lot of stuff hanging on the
> walls there, but you might want to try hanging some sort of
> carpeting on the walls from the ceilings to the floor, and then
> some carpet on the floor itself. Even cheaper and more effective
> might be to get some dressing screens and a bunch of empty egg
> cartons (the cardboard ones, not the styrofoam ones). Cover the
> dressing screens with the egg cartons, with the "points" of the
> "cones" pointing out, and then set them up around where you sit
> at your mic. If you can't get egg cartons, you can pick up some
> foam rubber matress pads (they're flat on one side and bumpy
> on the other side). Use them in place of the egg cartons, bumpy
> side out.
>
> This won't give you a sound-proof "Cone of Silence"-type of recording
> booth, like the really cool self-contained ones we have at the library
> where I work, but it should bring those room echoes under control.

There is in fact a huge totally empty SLANTED wall right behind the
mike and another nearby. There is also the fan sound of the G4 that's
recording the shit. All of the walls in this new place are empty, void,
and I've been enjoying that, believe me.

However, two weeks ago ALL of the artwork and posters stashed in
various stashes were pulled together in the living room and divvied up
between "suitable for the unknowing" and "best kept upstairs". Then we
raided a small town for USED FRAMES like crazy over the next weekend.
Now there are unframed pictures and frames strewn everywhere. When the
frames are exhausted, and all the decent pics are used elsewhere, the
either HUGEST or most obscure posters and pics will finally line the
walls of this studio -- which are SLANTED INWARDS, this being an attic.
So the crap that used to baffle my old office studio -- SHELVES OF
SHIT, are no longer here or even possible. Hanging porn pics and the
more offensive Dobbsheads will be the "egg cartons".

But I had to totally drop all that anyway when Nivkie brought one of
the company PCs here. Now it's sitting where the dead reel to reel once
sat. I have to learn all the book keeping shit on there.

From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>

In article <a2cgr50drp@drn.newsguy.com>, HellPope Huey
<hellpopehuey@subspamgeenyus.com> wrote:

> Good, that means its still working and that $30 still MEANS something in
> this
> GODDAMNED DEMENTED SLAUGHTERHOUSE OF A WORLD.
>

So often we forget that right on the masthead banner of the main
SubProps, it says, "BREAKING THE TOLERANCE BARRIER"

(Sterno's line)

I tend to forget this too. My tolerance barrier is pretty high but it's
there.

Actually, I should explain some things that Rev. Rice probably didn't
know.

For one thing, The Hour of Slack started on an independent public radio
station and then got syndicated, for VERY VERY CHEAPLY, on several
college radio stations and other indies. Mostly college stations. It is
essentially a college radio station show. Such stations and shows are
under completely different rules than comercial stations. For one VERY
big thing, a DJ or host like me on such a station CANNOT tell people to
send in $30. I cannot induce people to buy ANYTHING. I'm not SUPPOSED
to, anyway. Thus the line at the end of EVERY SINGLE SHOW about FREE
INFORMATION from PO Box etc.

Not that anyone EVER asks for the free information. If I could say,
"Send $1 for a pamphlet," we'd probably get a few dollars. BUT I CANNOT
SAY THAT. I'm not even supposed to announce devivals, for I could
profit from same.

Another thing I should mention is that about half of Rev. Rice's
suggestions, we were doing in the 1980s and they were old then.

The great cut-up "I am a Nazi" "by Rush Limbaugh", and Phineas Narco's
Dr. laura rap cut up, were both fairly recently used. But those were
MASTERPIECES of COLLAGE that took hours of work. (And certainly weren't
done just for Hour of Slack.)

Of the 5 shows Rev. Rice says he heard, THREE were XMAS shows. And I
sure as hell can't see how those could be described as "unfocused" or
without a goal. THEY WERE NOTHING BUT SICK XMAS MUSIC peppered with
sick Xms blabbering.

There have ben theme shows that I spent DAYS putting together; then
there's the VERAGE show that I have to THROW together in a half day IF
POSSIBLE, duplicate, label, put in envelopes, label, stamp, close, and
mail.

The last show I did has me reading from a various carefully written
things for a full 25 minutes, including some very serious crap about
the War Thing. I will probably get COMPLAINTS for hogging the mike for
that one, or for getting too serious, or for not being serious enough.
And the reason I hogged the mike and read serious stuff? BECAUSE I
DIDN'T HAVE TIME TO DO ANYTHING ELSE, like a special collage. I had to
whip it out THAT AFTERNOON. ME READING is the EASY WAY OUT.

What your ear interprets as gobbledegook MIGHT NOT BE. Both Lonesome
Cowboy Dave and I are students of an old comedy group called The
Firesign Thater. Their material also often sounded on FIRST LISTENING
like gobbledegook. To me, most of what Lonesome Cowboy Dave emits
sounds like nonsense, right there in the studio -- but when I listen
back to the show later, BY GOD if there isn't a god damn college level
history lecture being delivered by Dave in off the cuff Finnegan's Wake
style!

And people NOT on drugs also notice this effect.

Here's another thing.

CUSSING. Can't do it. The Internet version has cussing but the
broadcast versions all have the fucks and shits bleeped out.

Another thing: SLANDER, LIBEL, COPYRIGHT VIOLATION, etc.

You just have to be REAL CAREFUL, or else, HAVE LAWYERS.

Little college stations don't have lawyers.

Here's another thing: EQUIPMENT. For most of the last 15 years Hour of
Slack was assembled using two $100 Radio Shack cassette decks, a 1996
Sony Discman CD player, a $29 Radio Shack mixer, a $50 equalizer and a
$60 microphone which hung from a STRING to keep vibrations from
rumbling it.

It's still the same gear but I've added a G4 Mac, Peak II and a big
drive and now TWO CD burners.

The stations (or anybody who wants them) pay $5 per episode for the
show. There are a dozen paying stations and a couple of individual
subscribers. You can do the sickening math. Sometimes there's enough $
to give Dave a few bucks to help with gas from Ashtabula.

Another thing that we do on Hour of slack that probably sounds
extremely unprofessional is that we not only play almost NO music you
can buy at stores, except in collages, all chopped up; but we tediously
spell out the ADDRESSES of the INDIE ARTISTS who contribute this stuff
-- because the artists themselves are the only place to get these
things.

And, no, we don't preach about "Bob" the whole show. In fact the Church
dogma is often just a sort of background skeleton on which something
else -- say, Xmas, or a recent devival -- is loosely hung. This is
because only a DUMBASS can bear to listen to the same tired crap over
and over again. This works GREAT for OTHER religions. If you want to
hear people yabbering about nothing but "Bob," Slack and the
Conspiracy, buy one of the Media Barrage albums from the 80s.

Ironically, enough, I just got back from a 3 hour meeting of WCSB
station volunteers and staff. They had DREADFUL NEWS if you're an old
fart. This is a college station and only a small fraction of the shows
are actually by students. Most are by people who WERE students years
ago but have stayed on, entrenched in a time slot for years. They want
to dump some old farts to make room for new farts. Quite
understandable!

ESO Swamp Radio probbly has no worry because Chas, though an old fart
with a 15 year old show, is a PROFESSOR at the college. I, however,
have not ever even been a student. And I don't produce a WCSB show. I'm
just a guy who guests on Chas's show and also PROVIDES a SYNDICATED
show from afar, prerecorded. HOUR OF SLACK has been on every Sunday at
9 on WCSB for over TEN YEARS.

If they decide to bump HoS it would be sad for Cleveland Subs, but I
would keep doing the show with no change. The "live" parts are from
chas's show and I assemble all the rest here, then mail it out.

St. David Bachner gets one copy and turns it into the MP3 versions that
go to sensoryresearch.com or to Prostata, depending.

ALL CHARITY. PURE.... CHARITY.

That is what the show runs on, from top to bottom, and that may explain
some of your bafflement as to why it's so damned SLOPPY.

But, I can tell you that if we DID have $60,000 per episode to spend in
a budget, we wouldn't do a DAMN THING ANY DIFFERENT, we'd just all buy
ourselves NEW CARS, or blow it on trips to Dobbstown. HEUNH!! WHY??
BECAUSE WE ARE DOKTORS, SUBGENII, MEN AND BABES OF "BOB"!! FUCK 'EM IF
THEY CAN'T TAKE A JOKE!

Company Policy has now spoken.

PS. The most HEARTBREAKING thing about the show is that I literally
don't have TIME to make extra copies for the CONTRIBUTORS!! Not only
are they not paid, they don't even get a FREE COPY!

Also, another Company policy is to avoid "siding" with any given
political party. Our duty is to BYPASS THE HUMAN, not play their good
cop bad cop game. And there is NO FORMULA for that. So one SubGenius's
liberal is another one's conservative. That kind of shit, like your
OTHER religions, are between you and "Bob." Now, nonetheless you'll
hear all manner of "political" statemnts on the show, although
sometimes they're spoken in Dave-ese. I like to bring up and explain
extreme positions and then point out the problems with them... ONCE A
MONTH OR SO. Nobody wants to be 'preached" to, especially my co-hosts
Dave and Chas. ((I did it anyway on #821 but like I said, that was only
because EDITING takes longer than BLATHERING. And also because I was
looking for an excuse to do something with that little exchange on a.s.
between Huey, me, Lemuel Atom and that WTC CIA raygun article.))

AND ANOTHER THING! The technical quality of the show IS NOT BAD! In
fact I can't fucking BELIEVE how good the stereo MP3 stream sounds! The
fact that many of the PIECES we use came from SCOTCH BRAND AUDIO
CASSETTE COPIES of CHINESE 16mm FILM OPTICAL SOUNDTRACK DUBS, and the
hiss and crackle that no computer SHOULD remove, well, if you would
just take enough HEOIN or ACID, just the HISS ALONE would get you off!

But seriously, I don't see what the gripe is, they sound as good as I
would expect a streamed MP3 to sound. Most of our audio is perfectly
clean these days, in that when I play just-music it's usally an exact
copy of the released (or home-made) CD; and the ESO live radio stuff is
recorded in the studio on a CD recorder.

I think it's the CONTENT that might be bothersome. The TECHNICAL
aspects are finally not bad at all. Tag team spewing on "experimental
college radio" is am acquired taste, but it's a SubGenius tradition
that goes back to 1983 at KPFA Berkeley, where we did the very very
FIRST SUbGenius show. We thought that insane noise and gobbledegook
sounded cool as hell then, and I still think it sounds cool as hell
now!

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Artemia Salina <y2k@sheayright.com>

"Col. Sphinx Drummond" wrote:

> He's like that bus in the movie Speed... if he ever stops he'll explode.

Kind of like when you're taking a crap and you suddenly sneeze?

It must've been really tough for Stang back in the early days of HOS,
broadcasting on a spark gap transmitter and all. I understand that it
was the early HOS episodes that made Tesla give up on continuing his
experiments with radio. Right before he invented stereo, too. Fifty
years passed before the idea of stereophonic sound was thought up again.
And doing audio collages with those rinky-dink wax cylinder records
must've made it even tougher. Imagine having to swing the horns of
two Victrolas around just to do a fade between two samples.

--
Artemia Salina -- http://www.drpez.com/drali1.htm
Fodient Birdbolt Discretely Disters Refulgent Epidermis!!! Just ask Kevan!

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: fossil_1984@hotmail.com (The Anti-Reagan)

"Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com> wrote in message news:<180120022023327991%stang@subgenius.com>...
> Whew, I was worried. But I can relax, now that I see where you're
> coming from: that magical far-away Rainbow "Bob" world where SubGenius
> shows have money, advertisers, staff, time and lawyers, even though
> their main schtick denigrates almost all other humans' most cherished
> beliefs.

I begin to see how the system works.
If I were to be foolish enough to point out that huge pus-filled ulcer
on your ass, *I'd* be the one tasked to drain it.

No thanks.

--
C.
----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Col. Sphinx Drummond" <sphinx@subgenius.com>

The Anti-Reagan wrote:

> I begin to see how the system works.
> If I were to be foolish enough to point out that huge pus-filled ulcer
> on your ass, *I'd* be the one tasked to drain it.

What pus filled ulcer? I don't see no pus filled ulcer. Did you think I said pus filled ulcer? I said there
was a bus filled with orchard apples...

-Col. Sphinx Drummond TWSR
----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: HellPope Huey <hellpopehuey@subspamgeenyus.com>

In article <5f05090e.0201192016.1e4b557c@posting.google.com>,
fossil_1984@hotmail.com says...

>I begin to see how the system works.
>If I were to be foolish enough to point out that huge pus-filled ulcer
>on your ass, *I'd* be the one tasked to drain it.
>No thanks.

Oh, the very act of SEEING it requires that you drain it. The challenge of
Dobbs is, will you have to use your TEETH like most poor schlubs or will you get
to DRIVE into it at 300 mph in that "Death Race 2000" car with the much larger &
sharper METAL teeth on the FRONT? Which, may I add, are not in your own personal
MOUTH? NOW you're in the cathouse seat of the sacred lobby instead of out back,
hosing the septic tank.

Boy, we sure talk about body fluids a lot around here, huh?

HellPope Huey, hellpopehuey@subgenius.com
It takes leather balls to play rugby and
a leather heart to be a politician,
but it takes a leather BRAIN to be a SubGenius

"Humanity is inherently evil.
(It has something to do with opposing thumbs.)"
-Sean Scott

"Menopause hit her hard
and then dragged her for 50 yards."
- "Drew Carey"

"I think I hate the pity more than the puke."
- "The Ripping Fri
----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>

In article <5f05090e.0201192016.1e4b557c@posting.google.com>, The
Anti-Reagan <fossil_1984@hotmail.com> wrote:

> I begin to see how the system works.
> If I were to be foolish enough to point out that huge pus-filled ulcer
> on your ass, *I'd* be the one tasked to drain it.

Too late... shoulda kept your mouth shut re: ulcer.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Her Ladyship Lilith von Fraumench <lilith@ZubJenius.com>

In article <a2en3601kcl@drn.newsguy.com>, HellPope Huey
<hellpopehuey@subspamgeenyus.com> wrote:

> Boy, we sure talk about body fluids a lot around here, huh?

You noticed.

"Is this Church about *pee*...?" -- some random nobody

Her Ladyship Lilith

--
\m/ -=8=- http://lilith.foolspress.com/ -=8=- \m/
----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Kopi Luwak <kopi@plopmail.com>

Her Ladyship Lilith von Fraumench wrote to %newsgroups% /n/n:

>"Is this Church about *pee*...?" -- some random nobody

is it?

--
"Two wrongs may not make a right but a few dozen maybes can make a really."
----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "palimpsest" <angorw@temple.com.plex>

> hanging snot ropes. <and lotsa sips, er, snips>

People throw up all the time (some more than others), but it is rare that
someone with a camera happens to be in the right time at the right place and
still have the presence of mind and lightning reflexes required to capture
such a "magic" moment.
http://members.tripod.com/kd2001/vommie/vom_pics.htm

The same is said of ufo sightings. Wonder if Adamski had any shots like the
ones on this site on any of his rolls of film? Bet not. Bet that Billy
Meier didn't, either. (You *don't* wanna owe me another fiver, Klyf. ;) )
They never *really* got where the action goes on. Their alien buddies -
what's-his-name, and Semjase - they never went on interstellar benders -
more sweetness-and-light crap - boring Pleiadians and Venusians (well, other
than the inter-species relations and sordid grooviness.)

'imp'

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Original file name: Hour of Slack causes .txt - converted on Thursday, 29 May 2003, 19:17