The Luser Life(?)style

From: iDRMRSR <alex.i.thymia@depression.org>
Newsgroups: alt.slack

I found the holy gathering place in this town for Losers. A place where
loner white men can leave their solitary hovels for a decent meal and
the scent of a woman, albeit what's left of a woman or just barely
classified as a wommin.

We have a famous deli here called Corky and Lenny's. It's in an Eastern
Suburb where the temples are filled with Mercedes and BMWs. The place
IS a little bit of NYC, and a haven for corned beef and chicken soup.
Super good food, to be sure. The place has a long, long line out front
at dinner hour. It might take an hour to get a table at the normal
rate.

But single lusers don't NEED a table. Therefore, they don't NEED to
wait, because C&L has a teensy, tinsy little COUNTER where about a half
dozen folks can be promptly served if they are willing to sit on stools.

There, a member of a gaggle of postmenopausal wigged ladies with too
much eyemakeup and snippy attitudes will take their orders, honey and
dear them occasionally, and put up with their rude suggestive comments,
for a buck tip.

The lusers come in two types. Well, three really, since I often go
there alone to eat. There's the picky old type whose food is never hot
enough (or too hot), whose sandwich doesn't have enough mustard on it
(or too much), or who refuses to eat anything because Lenny isn't
cooking that night and is the only one in the place that knows what the
luser can tolerate. Most of them look barely capable of finding their
way home.

Then, there is the type who thinks everybody else there is present as a
result of his benevolence.

That type acts like the captain of a ship, barking orders, adjusting
things behind the counter, and acting like a little superstar whom
everybody should be glad to be with for the period of a mealtime.
Pretending to know everybody, and perhaps hanging around too long
because an imaginary "Friend" was supposed to meet him there, but seems
to be delayed.

Of course, I sit there as an official SubG luser Observer. If it wasn't
for this chirch, I suppose I'd be in one of the other two groups.

Did I mention how GOOD the food IS?

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Original file name: The Luser Life(_)style.txt - converted on Monday, 21 July 2003, 13:48