The Great State of Howyadoin'?: Congressional Checklist

From: hellpopehuey@subgenius.com (HellPopeHuey)
Newsgroups: alt.slack,alt.politics.usa.congress,alt.politics
Date: Thu, Feb 6, 2003 10:04 PM

I think this has made the rounds before, but now the numbers are even
MORE eviler than before. Your moment of Un-Zen.

"Can you imagine working for a company that has a little more than
500
employees and has the following statistics?

*29 have been accused of spousal abuse
*7 have been arrested for fraud
*19 have been accused of writing bad checks
*117 have directly or indirectly bankrupted at least 2 businesses
*3 have done time for assault
*71 cannot get a credit card due to bad credit
*14 have been arrested on drug-related charges
*8 have been arrested for shoplifting
*21 are currently defendants in lawsuits
*84 have been arrested for drunk driving in the last year.

Can you guess which organization this is?

It's the 535 members of the United States Congress - the same group
of
idiots that crank out hundreds of new laws each year designed to keep
the rest of us in line."

Are there no FLAMEthrowers???? Yeah, I know: The Sharper Image. But
71 of THESE guys can't buy one 'cause their credit sucks!
EIEIEIEIE!!!!

--

HellPope Huey® hellpopehuey@subgenius©.com
Its great to correspond with those who can quote from "Bwana
Dik."

"It requires taste, tact & sensitivity...
...you have all but three of those qualities."
- "M*A*S*H*"

"My girlfriend said to me in bed last night, 'You're a pervert!'
I said,' That's a big word for a girl of fifteen'."
- Emo Philips.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Thomas Curmudgeon <eat@spam.yum>

HellPopeHuey wrote:

> *84 have been arrested for drunk driving in the last year.
>
> Can you guess which organization this is?
>
> It's the 535 members of the United States Congress -

I very seriously doubt the truth of this statement. I don't think 15% of
ANY population gets DUI's each year.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Joe Cosby <joecosby@SPAMBLOCKmindspring.com>

On Fri, 07 Feb 2003 17:16:47 GMT, Thomas Curmudgeon <eat@spam.yum>
wrote:

>I very seriously doubt the truth of this statement. I don't think 15% of
>ANY population gets DUI's each year.

Worked with statistics much?

--
Joe Cosby
http://joecosby.home.mindspring.com

>Say, what happened to all that nerve gas, anyway?

We TOOK it, for our NERVES, of course!

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From: Thomas Curmudgeon <eat@spam.yum>

Joe Cosby wrote:
> Worked with statistics much?

Perhaps you're not an asshole and have some point to make?

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Joe Cosby <joecosby@SPAMBLOCKmindspring.com>

>Perhaps you're not an asshole and have some point to make?

And perhaps not.

It was just that what you said was unintentionally funny, "I don't
think there is any population of which 15% have gotten DUI's".

--
Joe Cosby
http://joecosby.home.mindspring.com

PERFORM the HYDE ACT!

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: hellpopehuey@subgenius.com (HellPopeHuey)

> On Fri, 07 Feb 2003 17:16:47 GMT, Thomas Curmudgeon <eat@spam.yum>
> wrote:

> >I very seriously doubt the truth of this statement. I don't think 15% of
> >ANY population gets DUI's each year.

1) It could easily be true, because its Congress and even if its not
true, its true because we HATE THEM. I mean, LOOK at them. I hate
them. Why don't you? Its the biggest sandpaper handjob on the planet
that's not attached to an outright dictatorship. ALL HAIL KRANG!

2) 15% of ANY group is so far gone in THIS world, you're lucky if
they ONLY drink instead of sniffing glue or walking through the mall
gnawing on a torn-off baby's arm.

3) You're not zoned to doubt jack SHIT. This is alt.slack, buckaroo.

--

HellPope Huey® hellpopehuey@subgenius©.com
Think you'd look better with a reverse-mohawk?

"You've got just a mouthful of wiseass today, don't you?"
"I located the light switch."
- "The West Wing"

"You're NOT a freak! You're just STUPID!"
- "Invader Zim"

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Ned Wreck" <NedWreck@usenetserver.com>

"HellPopeHuey" <hellpopehuey@subgenius.com> wrote in message
news:8cc8cffc.0302061904.21746b02@posting.google.com...
> I think this has made the rounds before, but now the numbers are even
> MORE eviler than before. Your moment of Un-Zen.

Hey, Huey,
I'd really like to see sources for these claims if only to shut my fucking
roommate up

Ned
--
Eternal Salvation or Triple Your Money Back!!! HTTP://WWW.SubGenius.com

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Joe Cosby <joecosby@SPAMBLOCKmindspring.com>

>Hey, Huey,
>I'd really like to see sources for these claims if only to shut my fucking
>roommate up
>
>Ned

You could take the power plug of your roommate's computer out of the
wall, too.

--
Joe Cosby
http://joecosby.home.mindspring.com

Eloi eloi lama sabacthani


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