Pinks Agog over Killer X-Day Asteroid

From: bgfitzkhb@aol.com (BGFitzKHB)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Wed, Jul 24, 2002 5:18 PM

The Pinks are just starting to work themselves into a lather over this story,
so I'm sure most of you have already caught a whiff, but just for
conversation's sake:

**************************************************
(from Ananova.com)

Asteroid Could Wipe Out a Continent in 2019

Astronomers have found an asteroid that appears
to be on a collision course with Earth.

It has been described as the most threatening
object yet detected in space.

A preliminary orbit suggests that 2002 NT7 could
strike the planet on February 1, 2019.

The BBC reports astronomers have given NT7 a
threat rating on the Palermo technical scale of
0.06, making it the first object to be given a
positive value.

Although they say it merits attention, they expect
more observations to show it is not on an
Earth-intersecting trajectory.

The asteroid is estimated to be about two
kilometres wide, large enough to cause
continent-wide devastation on Earth.

It was first seen on the night of July 5 by the Linear
Observatory's automated sky survey programme
in New Mexico. . .

**********************************************************

Everybody catch that date? July 5th.

World-shattering spacerock, or the Xists wanting to play catch? Or another
brilliant PR move from Stang?

I'm noticing that most of the more recent versions of this story are leaving
out any X-Day reference, stating instead that the "asteroid" was first spotted
"earlier this month."

Anybody else want to play?

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: El Queso <the_cheese_23@yahoo.com>

That would make the last official X-Day #22 wouldn't it? Fuck it, I'm
just a robot replacement, and even I'M not hanging around Earth THAT
long.
Queso

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Leonard the Commited <lenny@praisebob.com>

We really need to act on this one quick, before some Poindexter figures out that it WONT really happen! Since we have yet to actually see the end of the world on the 5th of July, we can revise the prophecy of Bob much the same way the xtians do when THEY want to believe something is true.

Good money can be made on this one! Get those pamphlets printed ASAP!!!!

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Her Ladyship Lilith von Fraumench <lilith@ZubJenius.com>

Brilliant plan! You raise the venture capital and work on the new
pamphlet drafts. I'll oversee the work.

Her Ladyship Lilith

--
--=8=-- \m/ --=8=-- http://lilith.foolspress.com/ --=8=-- \m/ --=8=--
You'll say that the 50's isn't the present, but we'll have to differ on
that. -- RLan538885 in 20020617153210.12229.00001550@mb-fe.aol.com

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Vombatus Ursinus" <brian_windsor@hotmail.com.nospam>

even more worrying is the discovery of a 2 km wide Haemorrhoid. scientists
speculate that it must belong to the world's biggest arsehole. if discovered
this arsehole must somehow be prevented from posting to internet newsgroups.
intense interest and many opinions as to the identity of this arsehole
continue.

plans to launch a missile loaded with two tonnes of radioactive 'preparation
h' have been widely rumoured

anyone who thinks they know the identity of this enormous arsehole should
immediately report it to NORAD (National Orificial Radar for Arsehole
Detection)

=========================================
Fortune tellers are for the poor; psychics are for the rich.
=========================================
The above quote was hand crafted
from recycled electrons

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Ned Wreck" <NedWreck@usenetserver.com>

Could it be that Anonymous guy?

--
Eternal Salvation or Triple Your Money Back!!! HTTP://WWW.SubGenius.com

Back to document index

Original file name: Pinks Agog over Kille.txt - converted on Friday, 13 June 2003, 22:41