Re: FTC Ruling on Sniper Categories

From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Sun, Oct 20, 2002 5:39 PM

In article <3DB2DABE.7B38@succeeds.com>, nu-monet v5.0
<nothing@succeeds.com> wrote:

> iDRMRSR wrote:
> >
> > DC Sniper shooting: Must have proper calibre,
> > markings, and white box
> > and/or Astro van, suburban DC only.
> >
> > DC Sniper Like shooting: Any combination of
> > white truck, suburban
> > tristate location AND calibre.
> >
> > DC Sniper Style Shooting: Any combination of
> > white truck sighting and
> > suburban location in tristate area.
> >
> > DC Sniper Flavored Shooting: Containing one
> > or more but less than all
> > elements of DC Sniper Style Shooting.
> >
> > All other snipings must be classified as generic.
> >
> > Do not be deceived by improper claims. Report
> > suspected fraud to
> > http://www.ftc.gov and not to http://www.ftp.biz
> >
>
>
> Let's take bets on how long it will be before the
> authorities decide to FAKE the death or arrest of
> the sniper, so that they won't look inefficient
> and WEAK. (Of course, any subsequent snipings
> just won't be reported by the media, on orders.)
>
> I bet November 20th.

Maybe Kerry Thornley didn't die after all. Maybe this is Part Two of
the sleeper training he and Lee Harvey Oswald got in their
extracurricular military activities. He swore that They had Manchurian
Candidated the hell out of him, and then hung him out to dry.

*Probably* not. But in the realm of conspiracy theories, if you leave
ONE STONE unturned, you WILL fall prey to disinformation. There's NO
REST. You can lie down, but you can't sleep -- it's hell, baby.

--
4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected (Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
P.O. Box 181417, Cleveland, OH 44118 (fax 216-320-9528)
A subsidiary of:
The SubGenius Foundation, Inc. / P.O. Box 204206, Austin, TX 78720-4206
Dobbs-Approved Authorized Commercial Outreach of The Church of the SubGenius
SubSITE: http://www.subgenius.com
For SubGenius Biz & Orders: call toll free to 1-888-669-2323
or email: jesus@subgenius.com
PRABOB

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: nenslo <nenslo@yahooX.com>

"Rev. Ivan Stang" wrote:
>
> Maybe Kerry Thornley didn't die after all. Maybe this is Part Two of
> the sleeper training he and Lee Harvey Oswald got in their
> extracurricular military activities. He swore that They had Manchurian
> Candidated the hell out of him, and then hung him out to dry.

The Manchurian Candidate wasn't the person who was brainwashed to be
an assassin, it was the person who was running for office who would be
elected as a result of the assassination, you ignorant boob.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "nu-monet v5.0" <nothing@succeeds.com>

No, no. The Manchurian Candidate wasn't the guy
who would be elected, he was the Chinese guy who
ordered the brainwashing in the first place! If
the brainwashed guy pulled off the assassination,
then he would have been elected the Premier or
President or something of Manchuria.

--
I don't know what you're talking about.
I've never met you before in my life.
That story sounds like utter bullshit.
I wasn't there and it wasn't me.
I am *not* in denial. Shut up.
--nu-monet

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>

nenslo <nenslo@yahooX.com>
wrote:

-
> The Manchurian Candidate wasn't the person who was brainwashed to be
> an assassin, it was the person who was running for office who would be
> elected as a result of the assassination, you ignorant boob.

I was using "Manchurian Candidate" as a crackpot's verb, you blinkered
krank, in a completely SubGeniusified way, for which one can with
bulldada literary impunity BLOW OFF strict attention to such NERD'S
DETAILS as "Frankenstein" actually being the name of the mad scientist,
not the monster, etc.

In common crackpot and SubGenius parlance, "to Manchurian Candidate"
someone means to brainwash him, actual plot details of the
Frankensteimer film notwithstanding. Your nitpicking may be appropriate
to cable TV game shows but it is not appreciated here.

((SPIT))

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "nu-monet v5.0" <nothing@succeeds.com>

Actually, that's something that EVERYBODY gets wrong.
IN THE BOOK, "Frankenstein" was the name of the town
where Dr. Polidari made "The Monster." The BARON 'OF'
FRANKENSTEIN was the guy at whose castle Polidari was
doing his experiments.

--
"It's like the Roman Empire. Wasn't everybody
running around just covered with syphilis?
And then it was destroyed by the volcano."
--Joan Collins

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: royal709@37.com (Elvis Jesus Bond)

Richard Condon wrote some first-class books, including
The Manchurian Candidate and Prizzi's Honour.

He lived in Dallas in his later years and died there on April 9, 1996.

His book was a bit more wicked than the movie.

These are the books he wrote.
The Oldest Confession ................................... 1958
The Manchurian Candidate ................................ 1959
Some Angry Angel ........................................ 1960
Talent for Loving ....................................... 1961
An Infinity of Mirrors .................................. 1964
Any God Will Do ......................................... 1966
The Ecstasy Business .................................... 1967
Mile High ............................................... 1969
The Vertical Smile ...................................... 1971
Arigato ................................................. 1972
Winter Kills ............................................ 1974
The Star-spangled Crunch ................................ 1974
Money is Love ........................................... 1975
The Whisper of the Axe .................................. 1976
The Abandoned Woman ..................................... 1977
Bandicoot ............................................... 1978
Death of A Politician ................................... 1978
The Entwining ........................................... 1980
Prizzi's Honor .......................................... 1982
A Trembling Upon Rome ................................... 1983
Prizzi's Family ......................................... 1986
Prizzi's Glory .......................................... 1988
Emperor of America ...................................... 1990
The Final Addiction ..................................... 1991
The Venerable Bead ...................................... 1992
Prizzi's Money .......................................... 1994

One of his most interesting ideas (from The Venerable Bead) is
that listening devices (bugs) have become so cheap and readily
available that the US government has put them all over the place,
like in restaurants especially so they can listen to unguarded
opinions and have this instant poll going all the time with the
aid of computers and keyword searches.

Condon seemed to have a lot of inside information and/or he was
extremely
clever and imaginative.

SO! Anyone who uses "Manchurian Candidate" as a verb shows excellent
taste
and a good imagination in converting two large words into a verb.

And about that sniper....it's remarkable how many people are now on
the
conspiracy bandwagon. We are now speaking through the mouthpiece of
Lord Snooty's giant poisoned electric head. So
therrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrre.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>

> No, no. The Manchurian Candidate wasn't the guy
> who would be elected, he was the Chinese guy who
> ordered the brainwashing in the first place! If
> the brainwashed guy pulled off the assassination,
> then he would have been elected the Premier or
> President or something of Manchuria.

No, you're thinking of "THE SNOW CREATURE" and it was Tibet. The Yeti
was gonna be premiere of Nepal or something...? I dunno, I saw it
pretty late at night.

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Original file name: FTC Ruling on Sniper .txt - converted on Friday, 13 June 2003, 22:41