Re: Ashcroft to destroy Billion Dollar Industry

From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Tue, Feb 25, 2003 10:04 AM

In article <3E5B72D5.629A@succeeds.com>, nu-monet v5.0
<nothing@succeeds.com> wrote:

>
> WASHINGTON, Feb. 24 ~ Federal authorities charged 55
> people Monday with trafficking in illegal drug
> paraphernalia from coast to coast, using both
> traditional stores and the Internet. A federal grand
> jury in western Pennsylvania handed up indictments
> against 27 people as part of "Operation Pipe Dreams,"
> an investigation stretching from Pittsburgh to Phoenix
> to Southern California, Attorney General John Ashcroft
> said...

MY GOD!!! They're closing down HEAD SHOPS! Wherever shall we procure
our Smiley-Face buttons and black-light posters?

Spencer's Gifts must have made a huge donation to the right people.

HINT: if you ask for "E-Z Whips" it's okay, but if you ask for
"Whip-Its" they can throw your ass in jail just for asking. "Whip-Its"
is slang and means you intend to get high as a hoot-owl; "E-Z Whip"
means the Starbucks you work for ran out of compressed gas for the
whipped cream dispenser. Or your cosmetics testing lab ran out of
anaesthetic for the rabbits.

Use approved language only, especially when near any "lifestyle" shops
that remain open. Forget "rolling papers;" say, "accessories for the
assembly of hand-made tobacco cigarets for hobbyist purposes." Don't
make jokes about drugs or terrorism. Do make jokes about rival sports
teams. Make sure there are no bumper stickers on your car that could be
construed as messages, unless they are obvious advertisements for well
known brand names.

If you don't like the way things are, you can always vote to change
them. You can vote and vote and vote. You can even assemble with others
for respectful, peaceful protest. That's what you can do to make
yourself feel better. That or just get the hell out of Dodge.

We will now begin lessons in Turkish. "May I See your passport,
please?" "Var es het bad kamer?"

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: drdark@37.com (DoktorDark)

Yes, so the winner of the popular election by a half million votes can
go to the White House, right? Or were your words addressed to Supreme
Court Justices?

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Original file name: Ashcroft to destroy B.txt - converted on Friday, 13 June 2003, 22:41