Vegan Joke

From: "Blackout" <blackout@404Subgenius.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Tue, Oct 8, 2002 11:09 PM

This subgenius is walking down the street when he spots the most incredible
specimen of womnanhood he's ever seen coming out of a Vegan grocery store.
He thinks to himself man she looks pretty HOT and not very stinky patchouli
hippy at all, maybe she just went inside to check it out or something. He
decides that she's just so hot it would be an absolute SIN against "Bob" to
let this chance go by without taking a run at her so he walks up to her and
says " say, lady, I've just GOTTA ask you this-do you eat meat?"

she turns around and smiles and drops down on her knees and says NOT UNTIL
NOW, YOU SMOOTH TALKING SON OF A BITCH.

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From: iDRMRSR <idrmrsr@subgenius.com>
Message-ID: <AB64DF3FCAB102C0.E534DE240B6D3FDC.EFDE33B8BCF6F5F9@lp.airnews.net>

Blackout:
>>one joke snipped<<

So there's this other guy. He lived on a cattle farm and grew up around
slaughterhouses and so on. Then he goes off to college.

He studies Eastern Philosophy, and about the sanctity of all life, and
how it is the duty of each being to protect that life. Then he gets a
computer, and gets online, and finds out that large corporations feed
chemicals to animals so they get way fatter and produce more meat. And
to keep the cost down, they slaughter the animals very efficiently in
great numbers, ending their short and miserable existences.

So then, the guy decides, hey, I'm only one person, but dammit there is
something *I* can DO to make a *difference*! I can stop eating all
meat! And then he reads about the egg and dairy industry and stops
eating that stuff too. And believing all these things, tries to do his
best to convince others to believe the same things.

Haw, haw, haw, that's the funniest vegan joke of all.

[*]
-----

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From: nenslo <nenslo@yahooX.com>

Blackout wrote:
>
> This subgenius is walking down the street when he spots the most incredible
> specimen of womnanhood he's ever seen coming out of a Vegan grocery store.
> He thinks to himself man she looks pretty HOT and not very stinky patchouli
> hippy at all, maybe she just went inside to check it out or something. He
> decides that she's just so hot it would be an absolute SIN against "Bob" to
> let this chance go by without taking a run at her so he walks up to her and
> says " say, lady, I've just GOTTA ask you this-do you eat meat?"
>
she turns around and smiles and says "On Vega we eat you people
ALIVE." And she splits down the middle and she's all knife-like teeth
and twitching knobby tentacles and beady black eyeballs and the
subgenius tries to run but before he can even turn around she's got
him and wraps him up sinking those knifelike hollow teeth into every
part of his body and starts slowly sucking the life out of him and it
takes about a month and everybody walking down the street just steps
around, even though he's STILL ALIVE and BEGGING THEM TO HELP HIM.

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From: Joe Cosby <joecosby@SPAMBLOCKmindspring.com>

On Tue, 08 Oct 2002 21:38:44 -0700, nenslo <nenslo@yahooX.com> wrote:

>she turns around and smiles and says "On Vega we eat you people
>ALIVE." And she splits down the middle and she's all knife-like teeth
>and twitching knobby tentacles and beady black eyeballs and the
>subgenius tries to run but before he can even turn around she's got
>him and wraps him up sinking those knifelike hollow teeth into every
>part of his body and starts slowly sucking the life out of him and it
>takes about a month and everybody walking down the street just steps
>around, even though he's STILL ALIVE and BEGGING THEM TO HELP HIM.

ehm, was that the punchline part or the other part?

--
Joe Cosby
http://joecosby.home.mindspring.com

"Islam is a religion in which God requires
you to send your son to die for him.
Christianity is a faith in which God sends
his son to die for you."
--Attorney General John Ashcroft

"Subgenius is a religion where you send "Bob" your money, and you get
to kill him."
--The Reverend Doctor Lieutenant Chaos Israel.

Sig by Kookie Jar 5.98d http://go.to/generalfrenetics/

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From: El Queso <the_cheese_23@yahoo.com>

Sounds like someone has a vagina dentata hangup.
Queso

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From: Artemia Salina <y2k@sheayright.com>

Two vegans walk into a bar and order a drink.
Two vegans walk into a bar and order a drink.
Two vegans walk into a bar and order a drink.
Two vegans walk into a bar and order a drink.
Two vegans walk into a bar and order a drink.
Two vegans walk into a bar and order a drink.
Two vegans walk into a bar and order a drink.
Two vegans walk into a bar and order a drink.
The owner of the bar turns to his wife and
says, "See?I *told* you a bar for vegan
Siamese twins would be a hit!"

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Original file name: Vegan Joke.txt - converted on Thursday, 29 May 2003, 19:15