Date: Thu, 11 Dec 1997 19:08:13 +0000
From: "The Honorable Reverend Herr Doktor Lancelot
Kitsch, Esquire"
1. Stick your open palm under the stall wall and
ask your neighbor, "May I borrow a highlighter?"
2. Say, "Uh oh, I knew I shouldn't have put my
lips
on that."
3. Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks
the silence with a bodily function noise, yelling "Way
to go pink boy!"
4. Say, "Damn, this water's cold."
5. Drop a marble and say, "Oh shit! My glass eye!"
6. Say, "Hmmm, I've never seen that color before."
7. Grunt and strain real loud for 30 seconds and then
drop a cantelope into the toilet bowl from a height
of 6 feet. Sigh relaxingly.
8. Say, "Now how did that get there?"
9. Say, "Humus. Reminds me of humus. Either that
or 'Frop."
10. Fill up a large flask with Mountain Dew. Squirt
it
erratically under the stall walls of your neighbors
while yelling, "Whoa! Easy boy! That'd make mother
nature swoon!"
11. Say, "Interesting... more floaters than sinkers."
12. (Done after #9) Using a small squeeze tube, spread
peanut butter on a wad of toilet paper and drop the
wad under the stall wall of your neighbor. Then say,
"Whaddaya think? Could that be 'Frop?"
13. Say, "C'mon Mr. Happy! Don't fall asleep on me."
14. Fill a balloon with creamed corn. Rush into the
stall
with your hand over your mouth and let out a lengthy
vomit impression while you squeeze the balloon and
splatter cream corn all about. Apologize profusely
and blame it on the fettucine alfredo you had for breakfast.
15. Say, "Boy, that sure looks like a maggot."
16. Say, "Damn, I knew that drain hole was a little
too small.
Now what am I gonna do?"
17. Play a well known drum cadence over and over again
on
your butt cheeks.
18. Before you unroll toilet paper, conspicuously lay
down
your "Cross-Dressers Anonymous" newsletter
on the floor visible to the adjacent stall.
19. Lower a small mirror underneath the stall wall,
adjust
it so you can see your neighbor and say, "Peek-a-boo!"
20. Drop a D-cup bra on the floor under the stall wall
and
sing "Born Free".
Original file name: SubGenius Techniques.txt - converted on Thursday, 29 May 2003, 19:15
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