Subject: Re: I just got out of the hospital!!

From: "nu-monet v5.0" <nothing@succeeds.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Reply-To: like.excess@sex.org
Date: Thu, Oct 3, 2002 2:26 PM
Message-ID: <3D9C8D12.7F23@succeeds.com>

The Stinking Bishop Prostata Cantata MP wrote:
>
> The bugs are getting stronger and stronger and
> we're getting weaker and weaker!
>

And shit. I'm still only in Saigon.

--
"My sperm are TEN TIMES BIGGER THAN ME!"
--nu-monet

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: I just got out of the hospital!!
From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Thu, Oct 3, 2002 2:46 PM
Message-ID: <031020021446486415%stang@subgenius.com>

In article <1erhna.qid1.ln@news.concourse.com>, The Stinking Bishop
Prostata Cantata MP <prostata@bronze.coil.com> wrote:

>
> We live in dangerous times, my friends. The "civilized" world is
> now so clean that we are rarely exposed to harmfull bugs, but not clean
> ENOUGH to keep all the bugs away! Our immune systems are no longer
> trained for battle like they should be and the bugs are mutating faster
> then ever due to the overuse of antibiotics and germicidal agents! The
> bugs are getting stronger and stronger and we're getting weaker and
> weaker!
>
> No matter what you eat, you have to keep your immune system on FULL
> ALERT! Eat some dirt every now and then, it's good for you.

That's the idea behind "Bob's" SubGenius Industrial Diet, which
includes everything from tofu through "sliders" to rusty nails. Vegans
can skip the sliders. (If you aren't too strict I would always
recommend Boca brand Italian Fake Sausage, a soy product almost as good
as, say, a greasy frozen beef-and-bean burrito.) I understand that for
some people it's too late, they're already immuno-fucked. But there' a
whole sample menu in Book of the SubGenius, suggested by
dietician/OverMan Dr. Philo Drummond. Religious adherence to that diet
will either kill you or make you stronger, guaranteeds, no in-between.
I don't remember the details, but I think the diet includes cigarets
and liquor. Brother Cleve calls the technique "STRENGTH THROUGH
DISFIGUREMENT" and based two or three whole schisms on it, including
the Maltifarians. His approach is even more caustic and involves
deliberately acquiring tolerances to things like floor cleaners and bug
spray.

I was raised as a grubby little poebucker kid, chasing rattlesnakes and
horned lizards in the dust of 1950s Fort Worth, and then I in turn
raised two grubby little yard apes who attended public schools with
even filthier, grobbier little yard apes. I was also married to an
elementary school teacher. Every germ that exists among grubby little
public school kids was brought home. And everybody got sick as hell
with everything, once. But none of the diseases was anything that a $30
SubGenius membership and a good stout dose of Face Fucking Bat Sperm
Antidote Pudding wouldn't fix.

--
4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected (Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
P.O. Box 181417, Cleveland, OH 44118 (fax 216-320-9528)
A subsidiary of:
The SubGenius Foundation, Inc. / P.O. Box 204206, Austin, TX 78720-4206
Dobbs-Approved Authorized Commercial Outreach of The Church of the SubGenius
SubSITE: http://www.subgenius.com
For SubGenius Biz & Orders: call toll free to 1-888-669-2323
or email: jesus@subgenius.com
PRABOB

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: I just got out of the hospital!!
From: nenslo <nenslo@yahooX.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Thu, Oct 3, 2002 3:28 PM
Message-ID: <3D9C9A42.96F5412C@yahooX.com>

"Rev. Ivan Stang" wrote:
>
>
> I was raised as a grubby little poebucker kid, chasing rattlesnakes and
> horned lizards in the dust of 1950s Fort Worth, and then I in turn
> raised two grubby little yard apes who attended public schools with
> even filthier, grobbier little yard apes. I was also married to an
> elementary school teacher. Every germ that exists among grubby little
> public school kids was brought home. And everybody got sick as hell
> with everything, once. But none of the diseases was anything that a $30
> SubGenius membership and a good stout dose of Face Fucking Bat Sperm
> Antidote Pudding wouldn't fix.
>

How do you suggest I cure myself of being sick of LIFE?

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: I just got out of the hospital!!
From: Joe Cosby <joecosby@SPAMBLOCKmindspring.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Thu, Oct 3, 2002 5:36 PM
Message-ID: <k1eppusvn3h5c0ghm5tf4okani70hb578b@4ax.com>

On Thu, 03 Oct 2002 12:28:03 -0700, nenslo <nenslo@yahooX.com> wrote:

>"Rev. Ivan Stang" wrote:
>>
>>
>> I was raised as a grubby little poebucker kid, chasing rattlesnakes and
>> horned lizards in the dust of 1950s Fort Worth, and then I in turn
>> raised two grubby little yard apes who attended public schools with
>> even filthier, grobbier little yard apes. I was also married to an
>> elementary school teacher. Every germ that exists among grubby little
>> public school kids was brought home. And everybody got sick as hell
>> with everything, once. But none of the diseases was anything that a $30
>> SubGenius membership and a good stout dose of Face Fucking Bat Sperm
>> Antidote Pudding wouldn't fix.
>>
>
>How do you suggest I cure myself of being sick of LIFE?

You should eat cheerful people to immunize yourself.

And to get rid of them, because they are probably most of what you're
sick of.

--
Joe Cosby
http://joecosby.home.mindspring.com

"Nothing good shall come of what we have done here
today. Fortunately, no good was intended to come
from it in the first place. So let's just hope
we don't get caught."

Sig by Kookie Jar 5.98d http://go.to/generalfrenetics/

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: I just got out of the hospital!!
From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Thu, Oct 3, 2002 8:19 PM
Message-ID: <031020022020226337%stang@subgenius.com>

In article <3D9C9A42.96F5412C@yahooX.com>, nenslo <nenslo@yahooX.com>
wrote:

>
> How do you suggest I cure myself of being sick of LIFE?

I *JUST TOLD YOU*!

Put on your CRAP GLASSES, boy!!

A HOT PASTRAMI SANDWICH, and a great big black barbed FACE FUCKING BAT
DICK crammed down your throat, followed by a refreshing gargle from the
Bat Sperm Antidote Pudding jar... DUH!!! Duh-EEEE.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: I just got out of the hospital!!
From: Joe Cosby <joecosby@SPAMBLOCKmindspring.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Fri, Oct 4, 2002 12:40 AM
Message-ID: <kq6qpu4endsfaq4o5g1tmpra2e13c7cdd8@4ax.com>

On Fri, 04 Oct 2002 01:37:09 GMT, "Reverend Farrago"
<farragonospam@attbi.com> wrote:

>nenslo wrote:
>> "Rev. Ivan Stang" wrote:
>>>
>>>
>>> I was raised as a grubby little poebucker kid, chasing rattlesnakes
>>> and horned lizards in the dust of 1950s Fort Worth, and then I in
>>> turn raised two grubby little yard apes who attended public schools
>>> with even filthier, grobbier little yard apes. I was also married to
>>> an elementary school teacher. Every germ that exists among grubby
>>> little public school kids was brought home. And everybody got sick
>>> as hell with everything, once. But none of the diseases was anything
>>> that a $30 SubGenius membership and a good stout dose of Face
>>> Fucking Bat Sperm Antidote Pudding wouldn't fix.
>>>
>>
>> How do you suggest I cure myself of being sick of LIFE?
>
>Try laying down in a field of daffodills for a while. Or visit a puppy farm.

I tried that.

Maybe it's just me, but seeing all those little puppies hanging off
the vines in fields of puppy bushes going "yip yip yip" kind of gave
me the creeps.

>Or call all of your friends on the phone and set aside at least two hours
>for each one.

I don't think nenslo can spare the 15 seconds

ARF

--
Joe Cosby
http://joecosby.home.mindspring.com

"A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an
invasion, butcher a hog, design a building, write a sonnet, balance
accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders,
give orders, cooperate, act alone, pitch manure, solve equations,
analyze a new problem, program a computer, cook a tasty meal,
fight efficiently, die gallantly.... specialization is for insects"
Robert Heinlein (Lazarus Long in 'Time Enough for Love')

Sig by Kookie Jar 5.98d http://go.to/generalfrenetics/

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: I just got out of the hospital!!
From: nenslo <nenslo@yahooX.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Fri, Oct 4, 2002 3:45 AM
Message-ID: <3D9D4711.801206E@yahooX.com>

Joe Cosby wrote:
>
> On Fri, 04 Oct 2002 01:37:09 GMT, "Reverend Farrago"
> <farragonospam@attbi.com> wrote:

>
> >Or call all of your friends on the phone and set aside at least two hours
> >for each one.
>
> I don't think nenslo can spare the 15 seconds
>

HA. You think you're joking but you're not.
friends = trouble

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: I just got out of the hospital!!
From: "Rev. Magdalen" <magdalen@subgenius.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Fri, Oct 4, 2002 1:57 AM
Message-ID: <Z4an9.74014$121.1861784@twister.austin.rr.com>

"nenslo" <nenslo@yahooX.com> wrote in message
news:3D9C9A42.96F5412C@yahooX.com
> "Rev. Ivan Stang" wrote:
>>
>>
>> I was raised as a grubby little poebucker kid, chasing rattlesnakes
>> and horned lizards in the dust of 1950s Fort Worth, and then I in
>> turn raised two grubby little yard apes who attended public schools
>> with even filthier, grobbier little yard apes. I was also married to
>> an elementary school teacher. Every germ that exists among grubby
>> little public school kids was brought home. And everybody got sick
>> as hell with everything, once. But none of the diseases was anything
>> that a $30 SubGenius membership and a good stout dose of Face
>> Fucking Bat Sperm Antidote Pudding wouldn't fix.
>>
>
> How do you suggest I cure myself of being sick of LIFE?

Go be depressed in your OWN thread! This thread is about my guts, the
possible inhabitants thereof, and the prescription medications used to treat
them, not the pathetic whinings of crabby old hippies! You want to be glad
to be alive? Go puke your guts out for six hours and then get shot up with
liquid narcotics and saline until you pass into blissful unconsciousness!
That'll teach you to love life!!

--
So, the proper signature delimiter is the way mine is ("-- ") and not
the way yours is ("--"). -- Some Linux Freak

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: I just got out of the hospital!!
From: nenslo <nenslo@yahooX.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Fri, Oct 4, 2002 2:29 AM
Message-ID: <3D9D353F.C6E1A4ED@yahooX.com>

"Rev. Magdalen" wrote:
>
>
>
> Go be depressed in your OWN thread!

No, everything is about me.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: I just got out of the hospital!!
From: "Rev. Magdalen" <magdalen@subgenius.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Fri, Oct 4, 2002 2:15 AM
Message-ID: <kman9.74056$121.1863521@twister.austin.rr.com>

"The Stinking Bishop Prostata Cantata MP" <prostata@bronze.coil.com>
wrote in message news:1erhna.qid1.ln@news.concourse.com
> In article
> <B3776230EE094B35.ACA913843E028360.56E54FAF39B9A6C8@lp.airnews.net>,
> iDRMRSR <idrmrsr@subgenius.com> wrote:
>> most of them bugs come from bad meat. That's prolly why they took
>> you in, cuz if you are veggie, then they know something's REALLY
>> wrong.
>>
>> Unless somebody didn't wash them so good.
>
>
> yeah. the CDC says that's a major source of E-coli. Some vegies
> are fertilized with animal fertilizer (if you know what I mean). They
> also report that WATER is a major source too.
>
> We live in dangerous times, my friends. The "civilized" world is
> now so clean that we are rarely exposed to harmfull bugs, but not
> clean ENOUGH to keep all the bugs away! Our immune systems are no
> longer trained for battle like they should be and the bugs are
> mutating faster then ever due to the overuse of antibiotics and
> germicidal agents! The bugs are getting stronger and stronger and
> we're getting weaker and weaker!
>
> No matter what you eat, you have to keep your immune system on FULL
> ALERT! Eat some dirt every now and then, it's good for you.

I don't know about this theory that y'all keep saying about keeping your
immune system strong by exposing it to toxins. Even if yogis do it, that
doesn't make it science. I know from my studies of literature that people
get sick and die a lot less often these days than they did back when all
people ate was rotten meat and barley mush and nobody washed.

I think having a strong immune system is a natural side effect of general
overall health, and that exposing yourself to toxins is not necessary.
Especially since, as far as I know, there is no way to build up an immunity
to E. coli or other food-borne bacteria. They aren't like polio or
smallpox, they don't have an agenda -- they just go in there and multiply
the fuck out of themselves and they'll do that regardless of how many times
you expose yourself to them.

As for my immune system, it was doing a great job -- they told me that the
normal score for white blood cells in a sample is like, between five and ten
and mine was up around thirty, so those guys weren't just goofing off on the
job, they were out there attacking whatever it was.

--
So, the proper signature delimiter is the way mine is ("-- ") and not
the way yours is ("--"). -- Some Linux Freak

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: I just got out of the hospital!!
From: nenslo <nenslo@yahooX.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Fri, Oct 4, 2002 2:26 AM
Message-ID: <3D9D3485.D07F006A@yahooX.com>

"Rev. Ivan Stang" wrote:
>
> In article <3D9C9A42.96F5412C@yahooX.com>, nenslo <nenslo@yahooX.com>
> wrote:
>
> >
> > How do you suggest I cure myself of being sick of LIFE?
>
> I *JUST TOLD YOU*!
>
> Put on your CRAP GLASSES, boy!!
>
> A HOT PASTRAMI SANDWICH, and a great big black barbed FACE FUCKING BAT
> DICK crammed down your throat, followed by a refreshing gargle from the
> Bat Sperm Antidote Pudding jar... DUH!!! Duh-EEEE.
>

I have a whole room full of MADE UP STUFF HERE. It doesn't help.
Maybe eating pieces of hacked up cadavers is what I really need.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: I just got out of the hospital!!
From: "Rev. Magdalen" <magdalen@subgenius.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Fri, Oct 4, 2002 2:18 PM
Message-ID: <TXkn9.81052$121.1939781@twister.austin.rr.com>

"ICEKNIFE" <icNOekSPAMnife@lmi.net> wrote in message
news:EcOdndAjlYbrkgCgXTWc2Q@News.GigaNews.Com
> "Rev. Magdalen" <magdalen@subgenius.com> wrote in message
> news:66Nm9.57369$121.1620887@twister.austin.rr.com...
>> Flowers, bland food, paypal donations now being accepted for my
>> recuperation. They think it was either viral gastro-enteritis or
>> else food poisoning, so I'm sure I don't have to go into the
>> symptoms for you, you can figure them out from that.
>>
>> They kept me there two nights. It was pretty cool, except for the
>> pain and the hospital smell -- I had this awesome bed that was all
>> automatic adjustable and had speakers on it and tv controls. I
>> watched a few minutes of that Anna Nicole show everyone is talking
>> about, but not enough to get what it was all about. The Lord says
>> that she used to be a playboy model before she got so heavy, and now
>> she's like, striking a blow for heavy, beautiful women everywhere or
>> something, but sometimes he just makes stuff up so I don't know
>> about that.
>
> please do not die just now

Well I wasn't PLANNING on it, I have BIG PLANS of EPIC proportions, that's
why I quit smoking. It's going to take decades to complete them and it sure
would suck to be cut off at the very end when my goals were so close, so
MADDENINGLY close to completion.

--
So, the proper signature delimiter is the way mine is ("-- ") and not
the way yours is ("--"). -- Some Linux Freak

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: I just got out of the hospital!!
From: "Rev. Magdalen" <magdalen@subgenius.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Fri, Oct 4, 2002 2:19 PM
Message-ID: <XYkn9.81067$121.1939395@twister.austin.rr.com>

"nenslo" <nenslo@yahooX.com> wrote in message
news:3D9D353F.C6E1A4ED@yahooX.com
> "Rev. Magdalen" wrote:
>>
>>
>>
>> Go be depressed in your OWN thread!
>
> No, everything is about me.

You're part of that "Me Generation", aren't you. Buncha assholes. Thanks
for not doing anything about the environment while you had the chance, ya
fuckers.

--
So, the proper signature delimiter is the way mine is ("-- ") and not
the way yours is ("--"). -- Some Linux Freak

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: I just got out of the hospital!!
From: Joe Cosby <joecosby@SPAMBLOCKmindspring.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Sat, Oct 5, 2002 2:57 PM
Message-ID: <ggdupucidvquo7c01a3cknaobke250ks9i@4ax.com>

On Fri, 04 Oct 2002 00:19:15 GMT, "Rev. Magdalen"
<magdalen@subgenius.com> wrote:

>"I AM J'lahn." <jlwn111@att.net> wrote in message
>news:1e894c68.0210031341.57c4d835@posting.google.com
>> "Rev. Magdalen" <magdalen@subgenius.com> wrote in message
>> news:<66Nm9.57369$121.1620887@twister.austin.rr.com>...
>>>
>>> I'm still pretty sick, my gut feels like there's broken glass in it,
>>> but they gave me darvocet for the pain and antibiotics and let me go
>>> home.
>>>
>>> Theoretically, in four more days I should feel fine!
>>>
>>
>> Red-faced and completely aghast, I then said:
>>
>> OOPS! It was only supposed to last for a *total* of three (3) days...
>> hmmmm... I'll have to go back and double-check The Spellbook... musta
>> goofed somewhere! Too much Lark's Vomit perhaps. SORRY ABOUT THAT.
>
>So, you're saying you're the person I should refer the authorities to if the
>anthrax test comes back positive? Good thing I know your address and
>telephone number! Of course I wouldn't reveal that information to a bunch
>of usenet weirdos but the FBI is another matter.

Like most would-be black magicians, he hasn't quite pulled off the
trick of taking credit for something -before- it happens, has he?

***

Another spineless shit-talker whose mind wouldn't even be able to take
in the edges if he were to ever actually encounter anything like the
horror he claims to be a master of.

OOH

I SAW THE CLOCK STRIKE 1:11 PM THREE DAYS IN A ROW WHEN I WAS RILLY
THINKING ABOUT IT HARD! I AM LIKE UNTO A GOD!

--
Joe Cosby
http://joecosby.home.mindspring.com

Anybody knocks on my door at 3AM is very likely to get ventilated with .40 inch holes
in a creative shot pattern. Maybe a Donald Duck head, for instance.

I would say "thanks for the coffee, friend" afterwards though, assuming it didn't get
spilled in the process. I wonder how you say that in dutch. "Danke urg grug cafee
amigo" or something. I guess if they're dead though you can treat them as
functionally bilingual.

Sig by Kookie Jar 5.98d http://go.to/generalfrenetics/

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: I just got out of the hospital!!
From: dinosaurbob@comcast.net (dinosaurbob)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Sun, Oct 6, 2002 12:52 AM
Message-ID: <63b56953.0210052052.ff21adf@posting.google.com>

Joe Cosby <joecosby@SPAMBLOCKmindspring.com> wrote in message news:<ggdupucidvquo7c01a3cknaobke250ks9i@4ax.com>...

> I SAW THE CLOCK STRIKE 1:11 PM THREE DAYS IN A ROW WHEN I WAS RILLY
> THINKING ABOUT IT HARD! I AM LIKE UNTO A GOD!

I just looked at the clock and it was 12:51. Jeeziz! Aliens are trying
to contact me!

+Dinosaurbob+

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: I just got out of the hospital!!
From: Joe Cosby <joecosby@SPAMBLOCKmindspring.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Sun, Oct 6, 2002 1:16 AM
Message-ID: <lnhvpuci1a6hkag636d0cec83amjcsn4jq@4ax.com>

On 5 Oct 2002 21:52:01 -0700, dinosaurbob@comcast.net (dinosaurbob)
wrote:

>Joe Cosby <joecosby@SPAMBLOCKmindspring.com> wrote in message news:<ggdupucidvquo7c01a3cknaobke250ks9i@4ax.com>...
>
>
>
>> I SAW THE CLOCK STRIKE 1:11 PM THREE DAYS IN A ROW WHEN I WAS RILLY
>> THINKING ABOUT IT HARD! I AM LIKE UNTO A GOD!
>
>
>I just looked at the clock and it was 12:51. Jeeziz! Aliens are trying
>to contact me!
>

You are having the 12:21 experience. See how the 51 is basically a 12
reflected and inverted? The key is the three.

>
>+Dinosaurbob+

--
Joe Cosby
http://joecosby.home.mindspring.com

It seems to me much simpler to say that these Angels are "real" indivi-
duals, although living in a world of whose laws we have no conception;
and that, in order to communicate with us, they make use of the symbolic
forms appropriate; employ, in short, the language of the Astral Plane.
- Aleister Crowley

Sig by Kookie Jar 5.98d http://go.to/generalfrenetics/

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Original file name: Re- I just got out o.txt - converted on Thursday, 29 May 2003, 19:15