What if on XDV-1 ...

From: iDRMRSR <idrmrsr@subgenius.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Wed, Jun 19, 2002 10:06 PM

...the towelheads got busy again and paralyzed the country with some one
of their famous antics? There we'd be at XDV, awaiting the end of the
world at the appointed hour, and in fact it could be a pretty close
call. A quick check of Brushwood reveals no strategic targets within
about an hour's drive around the place, that is, unless they don't get
grounded along the way, which would be the shits if they were planning
on stopping Niagara Falls, but shot down over NY someplace.

I mean, no religion can be 100% right completely. There's a grain of
truth in everything, plus add to that a healthy dose of coincidence.
Maybe this IS the year, only the destruction may not be total, as
widespread as it might be. Not quite what the book says, but close
enough.

I have a theory that great events shine like beacons in time.
Certainly, you don't ever forget them once they happen. But before they
happen, I dunno, some people with overactive pineal bodies maybe see the
light ahead. You know, like the Mothman prophecies. Or those dreams
I've been having lately.

Maybe that's what the vision of X day is all about. I mean, there must
be some significance to it all to have carried the whole concept around
for these many years.

I only wish my pineal gland was as accessible as my prostate. I'd like
to massage it a while to see what messages from the future it might
cough up.

Hmmm...think I'll check out those triphening URLs I bookmarked a while
ago. Wonder if Home Depot is still open...

[*]
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From: JJ <jakubj@parkin.ca>

I think our clipart Bob is the Dajjal of the Islamic mythology.
"Ad-Dajjal" literally means "the impostor" and in Islamic mythology there
are many prophesized impostors (or anti-Christs) one of whom will come
near the end-times and tell people that which he invites to is heaven
where in fact it will be hell and vice versa. He is one-eyed (although
Muhammad might have misread angel Gabriel who really meant one-piped). The
Dajjal will be able to do all sorts of cool stuff like splitting people in
half then reassembling them and giving them life (perhaps on the Xist
ships). According to the Islamic lore, Jesus will return and smite the
Dajjal (but we all know the fightin' Jesus is actually Bob's ally --
Gabriel was once again misunderstood) after which Gog and Magog (ie.: the
Xists) will break "the barrier" (most likely a metaphor for the barrier of
time that is to be broken on the real July 4th, 1998) and destroy all (or
most of) humanity except the followers of (the fightin') Jesus (and J.R.
"Bob" Dobbs).

Now, we have to remember that in the Islamic calendar it's 1423. We still
have a long time before 1998!

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From: bobdiddley@aol.com (Bobdiddley)

...we don't send out just the RIGHT signal of slack, and instead of attracting
the Xists, we instead attract the Yners, and they go on and on and on about
some 'point' we've all forgotten, and pinkness glows ever more nauseatingly in
the heavens and in our minds, until we all just give up and go home, except
that when we get there, we discover that the Xists came looking for us while we
were away, and left a note saying, "We'll be back on X-Day, be sure to send in
some more $30's."

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From: "St. Marc the Perpetually Amused" <disciple@templeoferis.org>

You know, I thought we had all agreed not to discuss what happened last
year.

St. Marc

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From: Legume <none@yerbiz.com>

iDRMRSR wrote:

> What if on XDV-1, the towelheads got busy again and paralyzed the
> country with some one of their famous antics?

I suppose we'd have to resort to Cannibalism. And I was LOOKING for an
excuse to eat Modemac.

--
Legume
----------
Me TOOL USER! FIVE-FINGER-MAN! Make weapons! Sharp arrow heads! Strong
bow! Trade to beady-eyed hunter types! Chase wives while hunter-types
gone! Make pictures on cave wall, say magic words while wearing scary
bear skull, keep whole tribe guessing!

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Original file name: What if on XDV-1.txt - converted on Friday, 13 June 2003, 22:43