September 11 Remembered

From: "Rev. Magdalen" <magdalen@subgenius.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Wed, Sep 11, 2002 8:49 PM

Well I got up in time to watch the ringing of the bell at the exact hour of
the collapse of the second tower. Which is about the same time I got up
last year. I watched television until about 2PM. I don't know about how
all the kids say it's all commercialized and pre-packaged and such. Sure
it's glossy and all the announcers are well groomed, but on American
television that's just how it's done. I didn't see any actual taking
advantage of the situation to sell anything, not even the war on Iraq.

I saw Peter Jennings replay the tape of himself talking to the man on the
scene last year. The tower is falling and Peter says "What's going on?
There's a giant plume of smoke!" and the man says "The tower is falling!
It has fallen!" And Peter says "The SIDE of the tower has fallen?" And the
man says "The TOWER has FALLEN, it has COLLAPSED, COMPLETELY!" And it cuts
back to Peter today and he says he wanted to play that for us to show how
after watching the footage so many times, it seems idiotic that he could not
see what was obviously happening, but that that is how it was in those
innocent days -- despite the evidence of his eyes he could not comprehend
what he was seeing.

I saw President Bush going around to all the places he so carefully avoided
when there was any danger. I did not see him cry. I saw an armed forces
band and choir sing the Battle Hymn of the Republic, and during that I saw
Mrs. Bush singing heartily, with tears in her eyes, while her husband
cracked jokes with a teenage girl, completely ignoring the song and
apparently unaware that he was on camera.

I heard the story of a subway driver who was ordered not to stop under the
towers, but to leave behind anyone who was there. He disobeyed his orders
and saved the lives of dozens of people.

I saw several rich young widows who were afraid of losing their mansions,
but through the generosity of the American People, they will be able to keep
them and feed their children. There was a man who works for the government
who explained the formula by which money will be given out: estimated
lifetime earnings of the victim + compensation for pain and suffering minus
insurance benefits and other compensations. I think they ought to also
factor in the attractiveness of these widows and pay them less because they
will surely marry new executives to support their lifestyles.

I saw a woman who had been trapped in the rubble for 27 hours before her
rescue. She said she was calling and calling to the rescue workers,
becoming more and more frantic, until someone grabbed her hand and said,
"I've got you, my name is Paul." Weeks later, after her recovery, she was
astonished to learn... there WAS no "Paul" working on that recovery area,
and no one had grabbed her hand! It was an angel all along!!

I learned about the little town of Shanksville PA, a town not much larger
than Sherman, NY, where Flight 93 crashed due to the heroic efforts of the
survivors (or some say it was shot down, which would explain why the crash
site is still off limits to everyone). But regardless of the truth of it,
it is a fantastic addition to our American Legends, worthy to take its place
with the Ride of Paul Revere and George Washington's Axe. Although I do
think the phrase "Let's Roll" which was apparently said by one of these
heroes, is a little bit, well.... well it's not the best memorial motto in
all of history. I'm sure the passengers probably said a lot of things that
would have made better mottoes, or that the government could at least make
something better up, if they're going to make it into a legend anyway.

I cried when they interviewed a mother of one of those passengers whose son
called her and told her they were going to fight the hijackers. And that
was the last she ever heard from him. How awful to raise a son to an age
where he might be expected to easily outlive you, and then to lose him!
Even though he was a hero, it must be too much to bear.

And that was about all I saw. I went on to the IRC but only one person was
there, and he started to ask me about why someone in Europe hasn't received
his membership pack. I told him that was in extremely bad taste to ask me
on this day and so I left there. Then I came on here and saw that pretty
much either nobody cared or else they were pissed at the commercialization
of the ceremonies, so I gave up on this century entirely and went off to
read a book that's three hundred years old, even though in those days pretty
much the same things went on, just without any nuclear weapons or airplanes.

--
So, the proper signature delimiter is the way mine is ("-- ") and not the
way yours is ("--").
-- Some Linux Freak

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "nu-monet v5.0" <nothing@succeeds.com>

I woke up like I often do, with a splitting headache
and a sore penis, in the bathtub. There was that
sticky sweet smell of pumpkin pulp everywhere, blood
smears on the mirror and toilet and an unpaid hooker
passed out on the sofa after mistakenly snuffling up
about 89 cents worth of baking soda and suffering from
cheesealitis.

The blood on the mirror said, "look at the TV!!!", but
the blood on the toilet said, "buy AOL at $15!"

Not having the faintest clue in whose dwelling I was
currently abusing, or when the police would be arriving,
I knocked down a shot each of creme de menthe and
jalapeno schnappes and headed for the door, only to be
met there by a gentleman of color who also happened to
be my bookie and frequent-flyer purveyor of fleshy
entertainments; for each of which I was deeply in
arrears. Which explained his baseball bat.

"Forsooth" said he, a Shakespearian-trained thespian
in his younger days, forever trapped in Edwardianspeak
due to especially virulent critic of his performance
in a high-school production of 'Othello'(*), who shot
him in the head with a .38

"What fortuitous vicissitudes hath deposited thee in
mine ungenerous debts, scoundrel! Wherefore is my
payment, threefold times a thousand, thou hast not
remitted unto me?", he continued, whacking me a jolly
double good one in the cajones.

Unable to unsheath my stolen Satanic-cult sacrificial
blade due to the fact that I had pawned it the previous
afternoon, my doubling over was more constructively
used for clenching my crotch rather than drawing a
weapon. My only recourse after a short interval was to
emit a (somewhat-more-than-ordinarily-high-pitched)
scream and to charge him with hopes of knocking him
over the balcony to the floor below, soon dashed with
the realization that we were on the ground floor, and
that I could hardly walk.

Thinking quickly, I then shouted out, "Flee, for the
Duke's guard approacheth, and the Duke has called for
the head of any man who unsheathes his blade in anger
within the city gates!", which caused him to take off.

Thus giving me my leave. Staggeringly.

Well, at least that's how *I* remember September 11th
last. Or was it the 7th? Whatever.

(*) as Iago

--
Whine whine. Bitch bitch.
-- Philbert Desenex

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: self@publicist.com (Baby Jesus)

"Rev. Magdalen" <magdalen@subgenius.com> wrote in message news:<7wRf9.235235$eK6.6552532@twister.austin.rr.com>...

> Well I got up in time to watch the ringing of the bell at the exact hour of
> the collapse of the second tower.

On being informed my reaction was "Cool! There hasn't been anything
interesting on the news for ages". Someone then claimed my slightly
tactless reaction was the result of shock and questioned my lack of
sensitivity. I considered pointing out that NO ONE KNEW ONE FUCKING
SOUL INVOLVED, and its not like we all burst into tears when a load of
japs find out just how stupid it is to build on a fault line.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Rev. Nickie" <nickie@subgenius.com>

"Rev. Magdalen" <magdalen@subgenius.com> wrote in
news:7wRf9.235235$eK6.6552532@twister.austin.rr.com:

> I didn't see any actual taking advantage of the situation to sell
> anything, not even the war on Iraq.

It's true- this didn't come in until about the 9 PM news edition.

> I saw Peter Jennings replay the tape of himself talking to the man on
> the scene last year. The tower is falling and Peter says "What's
> going on? There's a giant plume of smoke!" and the man says "The
> tower is falling! It has fallen!" And Peter says "The SIDE of the
> tower has fallen?" And the man says "The TOWER has FALLEN, it has
> COLLAPSED, COMPLETELY!" And it cuts back to Peter today and he says
> he wanted to play that for us to show how after watching the footage
> so many times, it seems idiotic that he could not see what was
> obviously happening, but that that is how it was in those innocent
> days -- despite the evidence of his eyes he could not comprehend what
> he was seeing.

I am remined of the OJ white Bronco chase, so many years ago, when Peter
Jennings let a crank caller talk on live TV for several minutes before Al
Michaels pointed out to him that "Bababooey" was a Howard Stern reference.

> Revere and George Washington's Axe. Although I do think the phrase
> "Let's Roll" which was apparently said by one of these heroes, is a
> little bit, well.... well it's not the best memorial motto in all of
> history. I'm sure the passengers probably said a lot of things that
> would have made better mottoes, or that the government could at least
> make something better up, if they're going to make it into a legend
> anyway.

What interested me the most about this were the folks wearing "Let's Roll"
tshirts. Why couldn't they have said "Let's Fuck?" Was there not a Blue
Velvet fan among them? Sheez.

> And that was about all I saw. I went on to the IRC but only one
> person was there, and he started to ask me about why someone in Europe
> hasn't received his membership pack. I told him that was in extremely
> bad taste to ask me on this day and so I left there.

It is the most perfect excuse.

-Rev. Nickie

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Original file name: September 11 Remembe.txt - converted on Friday, 13 June 2003, 22:43