Re: They said

From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Wed, Jul 10, 2002 11:30 AM

In article <3D2B4CA3.5EE9CCC1@witian.com>, IKOTA <ikota@witian.com>
wrote:

> They said on the news last night that you are more likely to be killed
> by your own dog than by a terrorist. That's what I've been saying all along.

The minute I heard that, I took the mutt out back and SHOT him, JUST IN
CASE.

And I VOTE!

--
4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected (Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
P.O. Box 181417, Cleveland, OH 44118 (fax 216-320-9528)
A subsidiary of:
The SubGenius Foundation, Inc. / P.O. Box 204206, Austin, TX 78720-4206
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For SubGenius Biz & Orders: call toll free to 1-888-669-2323
or email: jesus@subgenius.com
PRABOB

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: friday@fridayjones.com (Friday Jones)

In article <100720021130354326%stang@subgenius.com>, "Rev. Ivan Stang"
<stang@subgenius.com> wrote:

>In article <3D2B4CA3.5EE9CCC1@witian.com>, IKOTA <ikota@witian.com>
>wrote:
>
>The minute I heard that, I took the mutt out back and SHOT him, JUST IN
>CASE.
>
>And I VOTE!

The dog voted for Gore.

"You cannot stop me with paramecium alone!"
- Forgotten Worlds

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: subspecies23@aol.com (SubSpecies23)

>From: IKOTA ikota@witian.com
>Date: Tue, Jul 9, 2002 3:50 PM
>Message-id: <3D2B4CA3.5EE9CCC1@witian.com>
>
>They said on the news last night that you are more likely to be killed
>by your own dog than by a terrorist. That's what >I've been saying all along.

They said on the news tonight that you're 60 times more likely to be killed by
a member of your own family than by a carjacker.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: nenslo <nenslo@yahooX.com>

SubSpecies23 wrote:

> >They said on the news last night that you are more likely to be killed
> >by your own dog than by a terrorist. That's what >I've been saying all along.
>
> They said on the news tonight that you're 60 times more likely to be killed by
> a member of your own family than by a carjacker.

They said on the news last night that we're more likely to see an
eruption of Mount Hood in our lifetime than for a fire to break out in
your home.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: KRONOS <null@void.com>

nenslo <nenslo@yahooX.com> writes:

> They said on the news last night that we're more likely to see an
> eruption of Mount Hood in our lifetime than for a fire to break out
> in your home.

They said you're more likely to spontaneously combust walking down the
street than you are to shit gold bricks.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: mistidu@ (Misti Dupest)

They said on the news last night that people who watch the news are
100% more likely to die after watching the news than people who don't
die.

-----------
Zoroastrian Motto: Good Thoughts, Good Words, Good Deeds.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: nenslo <nenslo@yahooX.com>

Now you people are just making things up. Those first three are
things they really said.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Joe Cosby <joecosby@mindspring.com>

nenslo <nenslo@yahooX.com> hunched over a computer, typing feverishly;
thunder crashed, nenslo <nenslo@yahooX.com> laughed madly, then wrote:

>Now you people are just making things up. Those first three are
>things they really said.

I wonder if you're more likely to be eaten alive by ants or to be
raped by Phil Donahue?

--
Joe Cosby
http://joecosby.home.mindspring.com

Customer: My computer keeps telling me I performed an illegal
abortion.

Sig by Kookie Jar 5.98d http://go.to/generalfrenetics/

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Joe Cosby <joecosby@mindspring.com>

dinosaurbob@comcast.net (dinosaurbob) hunched over a computer, typing
feverishly;
thunder crashed, dinosaurbob@comcast.net (dinosaurbob) laughed madly,
then wrote:

on the news I was listening to last night they said the aliens had
arrived and were asking if everybody wouldn't mind stepping politely
into the street so they could be ANNIHILATED BY AGONIZING DEATH RAYS
and it would save a lot of messing around if people would just be cool
about it and just get it over with

I haven't had a TV in ten years though so I'm not sure where exactly
that came from though.

--
Joe Cosby
http://joecosby.home.mindspring.com

"I think anybody who doesn't think I'm smart enough to handle the
job is underestimating."

- George W Bush, U.S. News & World Report, April 3, 2000

Sig by Kookie Jar 5.98d http://go.to/generalfrenetics/

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Original file name: Re- They said.txt - converted on Friday, 13 June 2003, 22:43