Subject: Wanking for Victory

From: idrmrsr <idrmrsr@subgenius.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Sat, Mar 29, 2003 11:03 PM
Message-ID: <3E866C9C.73E6B04A@subgenius.com>

I've wanked for war, wanked for peace, and even wanked when nothing much
was going on to act as a focal point for wanking. But from this point
on, I plan on wanking for VICTORY! Right now, I haven't actually chosen
sides just yet, but I will continue to wank until at least one party
emerges victorious. And after that, I plan to wank to celebrate that
victory, too.

Just you wait...

[*]
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Subject: Re: Wanking for Victory
From: "nu-monet v5.0" <nothing@succeeds.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Reply-To: like.excess@sex.org
Date: Sat, Mar 29, 2003 11:30 PM
Message-ID: <3E867301.48D8@succeeds.com>

idrmrsr wrote:
>
> I've wanked for war, wanked for peace, and
> even wanked when nothing much was going on
> to act as a focal point for wanking. But
> from this point on, I plan on wanking for
> VICTORY! Right now, I haven't actually
> chosen sides just yet, but I will continue
> to wank until at least one party emerges
> victorious. And after that, I plan to wank
> to celebrate that victory, too.
>
> Just you wait...
>

Just don't start thinking, like Ernest Hemingway,
that men only have a certain predestined number
of ejaculations in their life. You certainly
don't want to start calculating how many times
you have wanked and guessing how many wanks you
have left before BANG! you can wank no more.

But I don't think it's that simple. It's not like
you just RUN OUT of spooge and can spooge no more,
it's like SOMETHING HAPPENS to let you know that
you have USED IT ALL UP.

Maybe it's when your testicles start hanging down
to yer knees, like Nick Nolte, or they shrivel all
up and get hard like walnuts, like what happened
to Jack Nicholson and Warren Beatty. Or maybe yer
prostate starts oozin' out green toothpaste instead
of spunk, and swells like a sausage skin bein'
pumped full of cheez whiz.

In any event, ya start lookin' like a Hierarch.
You *know* they wacked too much when they were kids.

--
"Proud and insolent youth,
prepare to meet thy doom."
-- Captain Jas. Hook

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Original file name: Wanking for Victory - converted on Monday, 21 July 2003, 13:45