Subject: pride

From: "nu-monet v5.0" <nothing@succeeds.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Reply-To: like.excess@sex.org
Date: Wed, Oct 23, 2002 12:06 AM
Message-ID: <3DB6207A.743A@succeeds.com>

You know, if you're ever at a loss for feeling
pride as an American, just think of this:

The Third Reich lasted all of 13-odd years,
going from a nation, that though industrial,
was just coming out of its great depression
and running smack-dab into a destructive and
wasteful war.
In comparative terms, adjusted for inflation,
they maybe spent $50-100 billion dollars in
all of it. The whole shebang. Rebuilding,
rearming and war that really fucked a whole
lot of people up and still inspires really
bad neo-Nazi music.

Yet in that brief time they set about to
create many bizarre and warlike *thingys*
that have captured our imaginations ever
since. Missiles, giant cannon, submarine
bases in active volcanoes, jet aircraft,
yakkity-schmackity uniforms, and even UFO
bases on the polar icecaps. Not to mention
Saran Wrap and Bayer Aspirin!

I mean, they gave Hollywood 50 years of bad
guys, plotlines and trite screenplays!

So what does that have to do with pride in
being an American?

Simple. After WWII, we took over where the
Nazis left off! America didn't just spend
billions of dollars, it spent TRILLIONS of
dollars to make *thingys* that go WAY beyond
ANYTHING ANY SCIENCE FICTION VILLAIN EVER
DREAMED OF!

Secret underground bases, tons of 'em;
submarines out the wazoo doing "Bob" knows
what in their voyages to see what's on the
bottom; 'Diamonds are Forever' death-beam
satellites; laser-packing drone aircraft;
HAARP lightning bolts that can fry a man at
3000 miles; UFO bases on the polar icecaps;
NOT TO MENTION ZIPLOC BAGS AND TYLENOL!

Face it, they'll be too fucking scared to
even put on a radiation suit and visit us
IN A FUCKING THOUSAND YEARS! Small children
will be terrified that if they aren't good
THE AMERICANS WILL GET THEM! Those twinkly
points of light in the night sky belong to
the Americans, for that is where they went!

And don't forget, small ones, the Americans
were the ones who invented Rock 'n' Roll!

BWAHAHAHAHA!

--
"As unpleasant as you may find it, remember
that nuclear winter is eminently preferable
to the brief yet intense nuclear summer that
precedes it."
-- nu-monet

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Original file name: pride - converted on Monday, 21 July 2003, 13:45