Subject: Pra'Stang!

From: iDRMRSR <idrmrsr@subgenius.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Mon, Mar 24, 2003 7:29 PM
Message-ID: <3E7FA2DA.7F4D19D4@subgenius.com>

Just read your NORMAL post. Dang, Stang, you are one hell of a valuable
item, a centrist in the midst of all this furor. Many of my hats are
off to you for supporting the troops per se, without particularly going
either way on the topic of WAR in general.

My mammy was a John Birch conservative. None Dare Call it Treason was
something she quoted for years. I've still got bound volumes of
American Opinion magazine sitting in the basement. It's in my veins
too. Can't fight it, so what the fuck, might as well enjoy it.

Funniest damn thing about this war is something only a true centrist
could understand. Bush (the past) got ripped for being so CONSERVATIVE,
when in fact, as my mammy often complained, he were really LEFT OF
CENTER. Indeed, it's laffable to realize that, long ago, Bush Sr. was
considered kind of a pinko fellow traveller multinationalist, and no
telling what mammy woulda thunk of Jr.

By the old standards, that is.

I kinda reckon, looking back on the past is kind of like a RED SHIFT,
which applies to light waves as well as politics. Still I have to
chuckle when they call Bush a "conservative". They gots no idea what
that meant in the day!

[*]
-----

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Subject: Re: Pra'Stang!
From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Wed, Mar 26, 2003 12:45 PM
Message-ID: <260320031245278365%stang@subgenius.com>

In article <3E7FA2DA.7F4D19D4@subgenius.com>, iDRMRSR
<idrmrsr@subgenius.com> wrote:

> Just read your NORMAL post. Dang, Stang, you are one hell of a valuable
> item, a centrist in the midst of all this furor.

I've been told it's the most dangerous place to be!

> Many of my hats are
> off to you for supporting the troops per se, without particularly going
> either way on the topic of WAR in general.

Oh, I LIKE war! It's EXCITING! This particular one though... euuugh...
it's still mostly live or dead people, and hardly any robots. The
robots probably still cost too much.

>
> My mammy was a John Birch conservative.

Mine still is, and I actually call her "Mammy" too.

> None Dare Call it Treason was
> something she quoted for years. I've still got bound volumes of
> American Opinion magazine sitting in the basement. It's in my veins
> too. Can't fight it, so what the fuck, might as well enjoy it.

I didn't give a shit about Communism until I spent some time in
mainland China. Then I became a Commie-hater. I already hated America
somewhat, like any "cool" youth, but I hated the Commies a whole lot
worse after that. The more countries I've visited the more I appreciate
the Bastard-Fathering-Land. It is important that we keep the FREE
ELECTIONS thing going though. That's been damaged.

We need to go after Bush after we go after Hussein.

>
> Funniest damn thing about this war is something only a true centrist
> could understand. Bush (the past) got ripped for being so CONSERVATIVE,
> when in fact, as my mammy often complained, he were really LEFT OF
> CENTER.

Yeah, he called off the dogs in '91 just when they really WERE about to
be able to do the old leadership decapitation thang.

> Indeed, it's laffable to realize that, long ago, Bush Sr. was
> considered kind of a pinko fellow traveller multinationalist, and no
> telling what mammy woulda thunk of Jr.
>
> By the old standards, that is.

Right. Some things have turned so topsy-turvy since I was a kid that
terms like "liberal" and "conservative" no longer mean the same things
except in the loosest imaginable way. What's "weird" now used to be
considered PLAIN COMMON COURTESY. In retrospect, Eisenhower looks like
an appropirately paranoid SubGenius instead of "The Man." It's all so
grotesquely RELATIVE. I know plenty of technically hard-right folks who
are much more tolerant and open minded than many would-be
"anti-Conspiracy" "SubGenii," and would definitely be more dependable
friends. Now, IS THAT "RIGHT"?

Apparently, in labeling and categorizing one's acquaintances, one must
shuffle through them one at a time and sort them individually.

You can't judge a person by its album covers. Some of the most insipid
jackasses in the universe are die-hard Zappa fans. (Or "Bob" fans.)

>
> I kinda reckon, looking back on the past is kind of like a RED SHIFT,
> which applies to light waves as well as politics. Still I have to
> chuckle when they call Bush a "conservative". They gots no idea what
> that meant in the day!
>

I get the same cognitive disonance every time somebody calls Clinton a
liberal or refers to the "liberal media."

It's ALL MONSTROUSLY, HIDEOUSLY RELATIVE, and the issues are INSANELY
COMPLICATED and if "Bob" wasn't so lucky, we'd probably ALL be dead
already.

Pope Bob Wilson is probably right -- the Universe does contain a maybe.
Possibly. I believe that FERVENTLY.

The Old (I.E. Still Living) Centrist Extremist

--
4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected (Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
P.O. Box 181417, Cleveland, OH 44118 (fax 216-320-9528)
A subsidiary of:
The SubGenius Foundation, Inc. / P.O. Box 204206, Austin, TX 78720-4206
Dobbs-Approved Authorized Commercial Outreach of The Church of the SubGenius
SubSITE: http://www.subgenius.com
For SubGenius Biz & Orders: call toll free to 1-888-669-2323
or email: jesus@subgenius.com
PRABOB

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Subject: Re: Pra'Stang!
From: bobdiddley@aol.com (Bobdiddley)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Wed, Mar 26, 2003 1:51 PM
Message-ID: <20030326135104.17324.00000149@mb-cc.aol.com>

Stang sed:

>We need to go after Bush after we go after Hussein.

Don't worry - he'll come after us. Somebody had to say it out loud, and
PraStang, Slacked be the Extreme Center!

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Subject: Re: Pra'Stang!
From: nenslo <nenslo@yahooX.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Wed, Mar 26, 2003 7:24 PM
Message-ID: <3E8244B4.81596825@yahooX.com>

INAPROPOS SHOTGUN REACTION TO VARIOUS
DISCONNECTED POINTS JUST TO KEEP MY HAND IN

"Rev. Ivan Stang" wrote:
>
> In article <3E7FA2DA.7F4D19D4@subgenius.com>, iDRMRSR
> <idrmrsr@subgenius.com> wrote:
> >
> > My mammy was a John Birch conservative.
>
> Mine still is, and I actually call her "Mammy" too.
>
> > None Dare Call it Treason was
> > something she quoted for years. I've still got bound volumes of
> > American Opinion magazine sitting in the basement. It's in my veins
> > too. Can't fight it, so what the fuck, might as well enjoy it.

The old anti-communists seem to be dying off nowadays. We have been to
three sales in as many months which had a room full of anticommunist
books, magazines, pamphlets and phonograph albums (yes, anticommunist
phonographic recordings) and we're loading up on them now in
anticipation of the coming rediscovery of the anticommunist craze.
Already sold a passel of bound volumes of The Dan Smoot Report.

>
> We need to go after Bush after we go after Hussein.

Funny, I watched part of his speech today and kept mentally
re-phrasing everything he said about "the Iraqi people" as the
American people - not deserving to live on their knees under a
dictatorial regime etc.

>
> Right. Some things have turned so topsy-turvy since I was a kid that
> terms like "liberal" and "conservative" no longer mean the same things
> except in the loosest imaginable way. What's "weird" now used to be
> considered PLAIN COMMON COURTESY. In retrospect, Eisenhower looks like
> an appropirately paranoid SubGenius instead of "The Man." It's all so
> grotesquely RELATIVE.

AND YET, the founder of the John Birch Society published an entire
book demonstrating that Eisenhower was a traitorous ComSymp criminal.

>
> You can't judge a person by its album covers. Some of the most insipid
> jackasses in the universe are die-hard Zappa fans. (Or "Bob" fans.)

MOST of the most insipid jackasses in the universe are die-hard Zappa fans.
And the REST are "Bob" fans.

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Subject: Re: Pra'Stang!
From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Wed, Mar 26, 2003 11:00 PM
Message-ID: <260320032300037975%stang@subgenius.com>

In article <3E8244B4.81596825@yahooX.com>, nenslo <nenslo@yahooX.com>
wrote:

>
> MOST of the most insipid jackasses in the universe are die-hard Zappa fans.
> And the REST are "Bob" fans.

Hey, at least we're good at SOMETHING. Being the best, the MOST
insipid, even if it's only of jackasses, that's what counts.

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Subject: Re: Pra'Stang!
From: hellpopehuey@subgenius.com (HellPopeHuey)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Thu, Mar 27, 2003 11:55 PM
Message-ID: <8cc8cffc.0303272055.1918ce9@posting.google.com>

nenslo <nenslo@yahooX.com> wrote in message news:<3E8244B4.81596825@yahooX.com>...

> MOST of the most insipid jackasses in the universe are die-hard Zappa fans.
> And the REST are "Bob" fans.

I'm not a fan of ANYTHING, because that is a contraction of fanatic.
I am an APPRECIATOR of Zappa because his music showed talent, insight,
humor and the results of hard work. I got to meet him once, briefly
and he was a gentleman, which is another sign of merit not conducive
to fanaticism.

The nearest I come to being a FANATIC is in appreciation of a few new
electronic music tools because their Universal status as consumer
goods aside, they are often well-designed and serve their purpose far
more efficiently than much else I can name. Even general-purpose
computers go berserk inexplicably, but synthesizers are generally
quite solid unless you spill beer into them. This is also true of a
few people, but not many.

I am also an APPRECIATOR of "Bob," not for his own sake, but because
its a convenient place to hang the insanity I was going to exhibit
REGARDLESS.

I am Huey. You are NENSLO. Please do not fuck up this last, dangling
bit of Universal clarity with scathing generalities. Nenslism serves a
public need, whereas more iceknifism increases the reproduction rate
of weevils in Hot Pockets. This only encourages entropee. Let's leave
that to the upcoming "Incredible Hulk" movie, shall we?

--

HellPope Huey® hellpopehuey@subgenius©.com
You put yer right foot in, you take yer right foot out
and before you know it, some toe-sucking fetishist has a woody.

Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.
- Texas Bix Bender

"If irony were strawberries,
we'd all be drinking a lot of smoothies right now."
- "South Park"

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Subject: Re: Pra'Stang!
From: nenslo <nenslo@yahooX.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Fri, Mar 28, 2003 12:50 AM
Message-ID: <3E83E29D.ED0CC506@yahooX.com>

HellPopeHuey wrote:
>
>
> I'm not a fan of ANYTHING, because that is a contraction of fanatic.
> I am an APPRECIATOR of Zappa...

"I'm not a Trekkie, I'm a TrekkER." - Some dorky snuffling nearsighted
dweeb in an ill-fitting fake uniform.

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Subject: Re: Pra'Stang!
From: hellpopehuey@subgenius.com (HellPopeHuey)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Sat, Mar 29, 2003 11:51 PM
Message-ID: <8cc8cffc.0303292051.23c7948@posting.google.com>

"ICEKNIFE" <icNOekSPAMnife@lmi.net> wrote in message news:<HAmdnbH9LrineR6jXTWc3A@lmi.net>...
> "HellPopeHuey" <hellpopehuey@subgenius.com> wrote in message
> news:8cc8cffc.0303272055.1918ce9@posting.google.com...
>
> > Nenslism serves a public need, whereas more iceknifism increases the
> > reproduction rate of weevils in Hot Pockets. This only encourages
> entropee.
>
> Weird. I'd never have placed you as a fan of mine, Huey. But hey,
> everyone loves hot-pockets, right?

Half the crowd says that's a euphemism for your mom's buttocks and
the other half say it means yours. I just thought those were snack
foods, not sexual entendres.

--

HellPope Huey® hellpopehuey@subgenius©.com
If I can survive the Church of Christ,
I should be able to survive an attack by a giant turtle like
Gamera

"My goal has always been to entertain part of the audience
and annoy equally another part of the audience...
when George Bush said in a speech that
'Americans should be more like the Waltons than the
Simpsons,'
it was great. I love it when they take the bait."
- Matt Groening

"This protest has the distinct bouquet of IDIOTS!"
- Louis Black

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Pra'Stang!
From: hellpopehuey@subgenius.com (HellPopeHuey)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Sat, Mar 29, 2003 11:54 PM
Message-ID: <8cc8cffc.0303292054.13c1984e@posting.google.com>

nenslo <nenslo@yahooX.com> wrote in message news:<3E83E29D.ED0CC506@yahooX.com>...
> HellPopeHuey wrote:
> >
> > I'm not a fan of ANYTHING, because that is a contraction of fanatic.
> > I am an APPRECIATOR of Zappa...
>
> "I'm not a Trekkie, I'm a TrekkER." - Some dorky snuffling nearsighted
> dweeb in an ill-fitting fake uniform.

Picard is the superior captain and you still have pie on your tie.

Are we a pair of clever dicks or WHAT?

--

HellPope Huey® hellpopehuey@subgenius©.com
If I can survive the Church of Christ,
I should be able to survive an attack by a giant turtle like Gamera

"My goal has always been to entertain part of the audience
and annoy equally another part of the audience...
when George Bush said in a speech that
'Americans should be more like the Waltons than the Simpsons,'
it was great. I love it when they take the bait."
- Matt Groening

"This protest has the distinct bouquet of IDIOTS!"
- Louis Black

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Original file name: Pra'Stang! - converted on Monday, 21 July 2003, 13:45