Subject: My idea of Heaven

From: hellpopehuey@subgenius.com (HellPopeHuey)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Sun, Mar 9, 2003 9:35 PM
Message-ID: <8cc8cffc.0303091835.5f1d493b@posting.google.com>

I have all of my hair back (FROM my BACK and back ON my HEAD), George
Bush is pushing a broom at a junior high school, everyone is
functioning at their peak potential while NOT ACTING LIKE NENSLO and
purple has a carrot shoved so far up his ass, rabbits are sniffin' his
breath, getting little bunny-stiffies.

--

HellPope Huey® hellpopehuey@subgenius©.com
Something like a cross between the X-Men,
Snowball the Signing Gorilla
and a Chunkendale.
A wondrous wad of exotic intent in 13E brogans. Howyadoin'?

"Most of the population done made the Devil their king
and they're workin' for him overtime!"
- "Green Pastures"

"I touched my 'lectric guitar to the mic stand in the rain
and Lord I felt Your power like I never will again"
- "Funzone"

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Subject: Re: My idea of Heaven
From: "nu-monet v5.0" <nothing@succeeds.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Reply-To: like.excess@sex.org
Date: Sun, Mar 9, 2003 9:41 PM
Message-ID: <3E6BFBE2.63E6@succeeds.com>

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Subject: Re: My idea of Heaven
From: iDRMRSR <idrmrsr@subgenius.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Sun, Mar 9, 2003 9:59 PM
Message-ID: <3E6BFF85.17F5CF4F@subgenius.com>

It's posts like this that get me all confused about who I love the most
here on alt.slack. And I can only hump one leg at a time, dammit.

Hey, that gives me an inkling of what MY heaven is like!

[*]
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Subject: Re: My idea of Heaven
From: El Queso <""the_cheese_23\"@(nospam)yahoo.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Sun, Mar 9, 2003 11:41 PM
Message-ID: <DHUaa.7545$937.446@news2.west.cox.net>

HellPopeHuey wrote:
> I have all of my hair back (FROM my BACK and back ON my HEAD), George
> Bush is pushing a broom at a junior high school, everyone is
> functioning at their peak potential while NOT ACTING LIKE NENSLO and
> purple has a carrot shoved so far up his ass, rabbits are sniffin' his
> breath, getting little bunny-stiffies.
>

Bush still lives in your heaven??? In mine - he was eaten as hot dogs in
an eating contest. Mostly by fat, sweaty midwesterners. A skinny
Japanese kid won with 27 Bush dogs in 6 minutes. The Cheney burger event
was was held 1 day later, followed by the Ashcroft-kabobs. Next week, I
will watch the Rumsfled meatball contest on an incredibly heavy TV set,
chained to a struggling, precariously balanced Karl Rove - if he drops
the set - he falls, with the set, into a pool a fecal material from all
the eating contestents.
Queso

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Subject: Re: My idea of Heaven
From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Mon, Mar 10, 2003 10:22 AM
Message-ID: <100320031022279584%stang@subgenius.com>

In article <8cc8cffc.0303091835.5f1d493b@posting.google.com>,
HellPopeHuey <hellpopehuey@subgenius.com> wrote:

> I have all of my hair back (FROM my BACK and back ON my HEAD), George
> Bush is pushing a broom at a junior high school, everyone is
> functioning at their peak potential while NOT ACTING LIKE NENSLO and
> purple has a carrot shoved so far up his ass, rabbits are sniffin' his
> breath, getting little bunny-stiffies.

Bush would probably be HAPPIER in your Heaven than he is now. And
purple already has trouble waddling due to all the self-shoved carrots.

My idea of Heaven is a lot more fun than that, and in fact comes to
pass in real life, on Earth, almost every weekend and many week nights,
and frequently during the work-day. That sounds corny but it's the
TRUTH. Wei is THAT GOOD a cook. But then, my previous ideas of Heaven
were limited by my ignorance of Slack, before. And I still have most of
my hair in the right places, more or less. Well... less.

I suppose things would be a bit more Heavenly if I was RICH AS ALL
FUCK-OUT; but on the other hand, IF IT AIN'T BROKE, DON'T FIX IT. I'm
leery of changing ANYTHING in my particular private Dobbstown right
now. Six square meals a day, a warm bed, smilin' princess and 3 daily
prunes, that's Heaven, dude.

But then, I used to be a Daddy; since the kids are grown, it's all
Slack and Heaven from here on out. Non-parents cannot know this
particular version of Heaven. Non-parents think Heaven is new things to
do and have. Parents know that Heaven is the kid not crying. The kid
NOT EVEN NEEDING TO BORROW THE CAR BECAUSE HE ALREADY HAS HIS OWN...
Ahhhhhh. MMMMmmmmm. Just thinking about that condition is almost like
sex.

But not the kind of sex that Mister Sister was just talking about. That
was scary.

--
4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected (Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
P.O. Box 181417, Cleveland, OH 44118 (fax 216-320-9528)
A subsidiary of:
The SubGenius Foundation, Inc. / P.O. Box 204206, Austin, TX 78720-4206
Dobbs-Approved Authorized Commercial Outreach of The Church of the SubGenius
SubSITE: http://www.subgenius.com
For SubGenius Biz & Orders: call toll free to 1-888-669-2323
or email: jesus@subgenius.com
PRABOB

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Subject: Re: My idea of Heaven
From: hellpopehuey@subgenius.com (HellPopeHuey)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Tue, Mar 11, 2003 12:21 AM
Message-ID: <8cc8cffc.0303102121.2ace1cbc@posting.google.com>

My idea of a less SURREAL Heaven:

1) A closer relationship with the most affectionate and sexually
perverse of the 4 gals I have been dating. I'm doing a FEW things
right.
2) Korg Karma & E-Mu Planet Earth synths, which I know from years of
synthism are the Ones For Me, next. A 10-year committment to a synth
is rad & pays off.
3) A proper Mac of sufficient speed to do a few of the things most
a.b.s.'ers have taken for granted for quite a while. Can we say
m'hunh.
4) A full enough grasp of Cubasis and a few VST plug-ins that I can
properly produce the stuff Saint Onan Canobite told me he's been
waiting 11 years to HEAR. (Now 13.5.) The Little HellPope That COULD,
if outfitted with the proper equipment.
5) A reacquaintance with frop so I can turn down the trim pots on the
back of my brain and make 1-4 ROLL properly. In comes the Church air,
OUT goes the Pink air. Or KILL me. You don't wanna know, much less see
the jpgs.

The scary beauty is, these could HAPPEN, because they're not like
wishing for flying Jetsonesque foot discs that wouldn't carry my big
ass to Brushwood without shorting out ANYWAY. Stay tuned for at least
2-4, which are the only ones that will really matter to YOU fuckers
anyway, eieieieieie....

--

HellPope Huey® hellpopehuey@subgenius©.com
Something like a cross between the X-Men,
Snowball the Signing Gorilla
and a Chunkendale.
A wondrous wad of exotic intent in 13E brogans. Howyadoin'?

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Subject: Re: My idea of Heaven
From: nenslo <nenslo@yahooX.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Tue, Mar 11, 2003 4:16 AM
Message-ID: <3E6DA969.121780D4@yahooX.com>

The first scene of "The Terminator." Or the scene in "Caligula" where
the big red wall with the whirling blades at the bottom inches slowly
toward YOU buried up to your chin in black sand. Or "The Dark
Backward" in its entirety.

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Original file name: My idea of Heaven - converted on Monday, 21 July 2003, 13:45