Subject: Dear Subgenius severed statue head expert

From: "Dr. Rev. Chuck, M.D. P.A." <cdub@_REMOVETHIS_erols.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Wed, Apr 9, 2003 6:26 PM

Is dragging a head through the streets the same, technically, as
launching it?

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Subject: Re: Dear Subgenius severed statue head expert
From: "NeuroManson" <moc.ibtta@dogegoops>

"Joe Cosby" <joecosby@SPAMBLOCKmindspring.com> wrote:
> On Wed, 09 Apr 2003 15:26:02 -0700, "Dr. Rev. Chuck, M.D. P.A."
> <cdub@_REMOVETHIS_erols.com> wrote:
>
> >Is dragging a head through the streets the same, technically, as
> >launching it?
>
> Not unless you play soccer with it.

Or have horrible. Stinky. Disgusting. Delicious. Drippy severed statue head
sex with it.

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Subject: Re: Dear Subgenius severed statue head expert
From: Joe Cosby <joecosby@SPAMBLOCKmindspring.com>

http://www.realdoll.com/

You know, the whole membership of the Church of the Subgenius should
get together and have them make a custom Real Doll with four heads.
Alls they'd have to do is cut them up and bolt them back together.
One head would be a Real Doll, one would be based on Saddam Hussein,
one would be George Bush, and one would be "Bob" (naturally).

We could whore it out for $20 a shot at devivals.

The thing would be though, who would have to clean the fucking thing
up between 'uses'.

" Indians are from India, so it was ok for us to run them off, they
had no business being here in a white country anyway"
- SOMEONE A LOT LIKE YOU, NOT SO LONG AGO

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Subject: Re: Dear Subgenius severed statue head expert
From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>

Dr. Rev. Chuck, M.D. P.A. <cdub@_REMOVETHIS_erols.com> wrote:

> Is dragging a head through the streets the same, technically, as
> launching it?

YES!

In this case anyway. I was watching that whole thing live on TV and
thought to myself, "Now THIS is what I call a REAL god damned
spirit-filled Head Launching ceremony." The spontaneous nature of it is
exactly what made it a true Head Launching, SubGenius Old School style.
Janor should sue both the Baath Party, the Iraqis who were filmed
trashing the statue, and the U.S. military as a whole.

I thought the dude RIDING the Head as they dragged it down the street
was absolutely fucking hilarious.

I'll bet you anything that by now, there's a bunch of young Iraqi dudes
tripping their asses off, with that Head in somebody's garage, and
they're staring at red enamel paint that they're pouring slowly over
it, and going "OOOOOooooooooh. Bleeding Head, GOOD... Healed Head....
BAAD."

I later heard on TV the phrase "the next war in Iraq" which was
followed instantly by the phrase "which will be a terrorism war."

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Subject: Re: Dear Subgenius severed statue head expert
From: hellpopehuey@subgenius.com (HellPopeHuey)

You kids, always with the head-talk and not enough about the STUMP.
The HEAD can be LAUNCHED, which IS fun, but the STUMP is to be FUCKED,
which is far MORE fun and lasts longer. The HEAD is secondary, the
STUMP is ALL. Screw the HEAD, long live fucking the STUMP.

--

HellPope Huey® hellpopehuey@subgenius©.com
A last-minute redemption beats a permanent damnation

"The only real natural enemy of fallen angels is God."
- "House of Frankenstein 1997"

If you're gonna go, go like hell.
If your mind's not made up, don't use your spurs.
- Texas Bix Bender

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Subject: Re: Dear Subgenius severed statue head expert
From: "Dunter Powries" <fech.redcap@spedlins>

Any fool realizes that anything which can be launched can be fucked first,
and that anything which can be fucked can be launched afterward; the wise
man realizes that all pleasure is transitory, but the master realizes that
it is imperative to disengage before impact.

--
"Oh great nu-monet, demon of the seventh pit of
Gnarrrath-Xpltl, help me get laid!"
-Casper Weinberger, Reagan body-double

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Subject: Re: Dear Subgenius severed statue head expert
From: "Dr. Rev. Chuck, M.D. P.A." <cdub@_REMOVETHIS_erols.com>

Rev. Ivan Stang wrote:

> I'll bet you anything that by now, there's a bunch of young Iraqi dudes
> tripping their asses off, with that Head in somebody's garage, and
> they're staring at red enamel paint that they're pouring slowly over
> it, and going "OOOOOooooooooh. Bleeding Head, GOOD... Healed Head....
> BAAD."

Noticed the hole in the left forehead? They did that by throwing _shoes_
at it?

> I later heard on TV the phrase "the next war in Iraq" which was
> followed instantly by the phrase "which will be a terrorism war."

Surprise.

Check EBay for bids on the head, plus many other looted items such as
giant vases.

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Subject: Re: Dear Subgenius severed statue head expert
From: "Rev. Jihad Frenzy" <cht@gis.net>

In article <090420032036231533%stang@subgenius.com>,
"Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com> wrote:

> I thought the dude RIDING the Head as they dragged it down the street
> was absolutely fucking hilarious.

Oh, yeah! All that kid needed was a cowboy hat to wave over his head.

"JIHAD!"
To the tune (very loosely) of "Rawhide".

"Rollin' Rollin' Rollin'. Keep that Head a Rollin', Keep SADDAM a
Rollin', JIHAD!"

"The JDAMS are a falling, and MOAB is a calling, soon Tikrit will be a
memory!"

"Knock him down! With a tank! Knock him down! With a Yank! Knock him
down all the way, JIHAD! Launch his Head down the street, have a ride,
it's a treat. Launch the Head of SAAAAADAMMMM,,,, JIHAD!

"I've got monkeys in my pants!"
Robert John Cusack

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Original file name: Dear Subgenius severed statue h - converted on Monday, 21 July 2003, 13:45