Subject: Chancellor Schroeder

From: "Alliekatt" <alleykatzen@hotmail.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Sun, Nov 3, 2002 11:20 AM

Newly elected German chancellor Gerhard Schroeder, in his recent election
speech, just condemned the Bush regime for behaving like the Nazis by
covering up domestic scandals with propaganda and warmongering with Iraq.

Pretty hard words. We all know that the Nazi card when used on Usenet is
pretty much a thread killer and a "fuck you" measure. Except that he's
voicing the major consensus of not only Germany but most of Europe.

The Bush White House has a bug in its knickers now, and Chancellor Schroeder
has been made "Officially Unwelcome".

Go Gerhard. Someone had to say it. Very fortuitous that this happened just
before the elections on Tuesday. A lot of us may not miss Clinton's penis
but the rest of the world and our economy sure as hell misses Clinton.

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Subject: Re: Chancellor Schroeder
From: prostata@bronze.coil.com (The Stinking Bishop Prostata Cantata MP)
Newsgroups: alt.slack

Alliekatt <alleykatzen@hotmail.com> wrote:

>Go Gerhard. Someone had to say it. Very fortuitous that this happened just
>before the elections on Tuesday. A lot of us may not miss Clinton's penis
>but the rest of the world and our economy sure as hell misses Clinton.

ah, the sex stuff was the best part of the clinton years. we
finally got some ENTERTAINMENT for our hard earned tax dollars.

that's the highest and most noble goal any of our elected officials can
hope to achieve nowadays.

but here's a little something I wrote on the topic a few years ago that
explains my possition more completely. Keep in mind that this was just
before the 2000 election.

----------------------------clip here--------------

Lately I've been feeling a strange kind of existential angst.

I figured it was just my normal existential angst, but it was
different somehow, sharper, and a little less introspective than my
usual angst. I really couldn't quite nail it down.

Today, as I read snide remarks about the upcoming presidential
elections and think back on the past few years in politics, I did
manage to nail it down. Having done that, you would think that perhaps
I would feel better or maybe at least calmer, but actually it hasn't
helped at all.

I figured out that the source of my discontent was that I am starting
to really miss Monica. I miss hearing about her, I miss seeing her
on TV, and most of all I miss all the wonderful lurid jokes and juicy
innuendo that had started making the political scene such an
entertaining carnival of delights while that whole thing was going on.

I miss the endless mass media speculation about presidential jiz, and
why an obviously troubled, but grown woman would keep it around on her
soiled dress and ship it to her mother's house for safe keeping
instead of simply doing a wash. I miss the lively news coverage of
her thong underwear. I miss the public fascination with the image of
a dirty old man diddling a moist young intern with a fine cigar, an
image that will always, without fail, leap to the forebrain whenever I
light a Cohiba.

I miss seeing her moonlike face wherever I look, her dark hair
framing her features, as millions of people watched and wondered about
the overlarge, pouty, red lips. It has been months now since a major
media outlet has shown us a photo of Monica while commenting about her
losing or gaining a few pounds. We all knew they were really just
imagining what it would be like to bend her over the oval office desk.

Monica has done more for this country than Al Bush, or G.W. Gore
could ever do. By simply accepting the penis of a balding old Elvis
impersonator into her mouth, she forever changed the political
landscape in this country and proved to all of us that snickering
about other people's sex lives is really what America is all about.
When one of our "respected" political figures breaks the 11th
commandment and is actually caught with his pants down or her skirt up
we all come together in a way that cannot be duplicated with any other
issue. No matter a person's view on the issue, "Pro blow" or "Anti
blow", we all felt something, even if it was simply a mild feeling of
nausea, and we all talked about it for weeks at a time. For the first
time in years, every American had something they could talk about with
every other American. It didn't matter if they agreed or not, it
didn't matter what they said to each other, we could all make easy
small talk and get to know each other better.

That's what america really needs. When a rich white man from the
'burbs, can sit and chat about something with a single black mother on
welfare living in the projects, the politicians are doing their job
brining the country together. When a blue collar hispanic lesbian
from Detroit can chat about something over a beer with a midget
methodist from Vermont they will find that their differences are, at
least for that short moment, totally irrelevant, and maybe, just
maybe, they will grow to understand each other just a little bit
better. They may not agree, and they may not be friends, but at least
they will see each other in a new light and perhaps they will not be
so quick to judge those who are different.

Yes, Monica has served our country well, but she still has more work
to do. That's why this november, it's important that we show America
what a dumpy intern can do for all of us, rich or poor, black or white
or somewhere in between.

Monica for President.

It's the right thing to do, and a tasty way to do it.

-------------------------
"In your country club, your church and business, about 15 percent of the
people are screwballs, lightweights and boobs and you would not want those
people unrepresented in Congress." -- former senator Alan Simpson

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Subject: Re: Chancellor Schroeder
From: "nu-monet v5.0" <nothing@succeeds.com>

The Stinking Bishop Prostata Cantata MP wrote:
>
> ...we finally got some ENTERTAINMENT for our hard
> earned tax dollars.
> > that's the highest and most noble goal any of our
> elected officials can hope to achieve nowadays.

Damn straight! Evan Mecham was BY FAR THE BEST
Governor Arizona ever had!

There was a total stalemate between him and the
State legislature, so no annoying bills were
passed--and nobody cared! It didn't matter!

And Evan, bless his shrivelled-up black, tarlike
heart, was guaranteed to offend somebody every
week. His conscience had never been raised, ever,
not one iota, since the 1920s.

Hell, he was such a throwback that black people
weren't "niggers", they was "nigras", and their
kids were "pickaninnies."

EACH AND EVERY WEEK he would say something about
the "Spics" or the "Micks" or the "Kikes" or hell,
even the "Krauts."

Dammit, you knew that he CARED.

And it just didn't register. His mind was an
immovable object. Totally inert. And as long
as he didn't have any power HE MADE ARIZONA GREAT.

By not only NOT doing anything, but not letting
anybody ELSE do anything!

"I'd just like to say I'm sailing with the Rock
and I'll be back like Independence Day with Jesus,
June 6, like the movie, big mothership and all.
I'll be back."
--Executed Serial killer Aileen Wuornos

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Subject: Re: Chancellor Schroeder
From: prostata@bronze.coil.com (The Stinking Bishop Prostata Cantata MP)
Newsgroups: alt.slack

nu-monet v5.0 <like.excess@sex.org> wrote:
>There was a total stalemate between him and the
>State legislature, so no annoying bills were
>passed--and nobody cared! It didn't matter!

now THAT is good government!

>EACH AND EVERY WEEK he would say something about
>the "Spics" or the "Micks" or the "Kikes" or hell,
>even the "Krauts."

Don't forget the "degos" and the "chinks"!

>By not only NOT doing anything, but not letting
>anybody ELSE do anything!

While I don't agree that any one group of humans should be valued
any higher than the rest of the stupid lot. I have to support his stance
on gridlock.

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Subject: Re: Chancellor Schroeder
From: "nu-monet v5.0" <nothing@succeeds.com>

The Stinking Bishop Prostata Cantata MP wrote:
>
> While I don't agree that any one group of humans
> should be valued any higher than the rest of the
> stupid lot. I have to support his stance
> on gridlock.

It wasn't like that with Evan. It was like the entire
concept of racism was lost on him. He might be speaking
to the NAACP and start out by saying, "So, how are all
you niggers today?" AND MEAN IT AS A FRIENDLY GREETING!

He seemed perplexed one time, after someone said that
it wasn't proper to call African-American children
"Pickaninnies"; his response, "Well, that's what their
parents call them." He later qualified that to being
"...back when I was a boy."

And it wasn't just racism. On a whole host of issues
Evan lived in his own little Mecham-world, and just
didn't comprehend that anyone could see things
differently.

He didn't just refuse to answer questions from a hostile
journalist one time, he declared him a "non-person."
He also didn't quite explain what this meant.

The bottom line was that Evan was good for an average
of two major headline-producing stinkers a week for
every week he was in office. Almost restored by faith
in government.

--
Whine whine. Bitch bitch.
-- Philbert Desenex

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Chancellor Schroeder
From: prostata@bronze.coil.com (The Stinking Bishop Prostata Cantata MP)

nu-monet v5.0 <like.excess@sex.org> wrote:

>The bottom line was that Evan was good for an average
>of two major headline-producing stinkers a week for
>every week he was in office. Almost restored by faith
>in government.

Any chance we can get him to run for president?
Maybe as a write-in?

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Original file name: Chancellor Schroeder - converted on Monday, 21 July 2003, 13:45