A Retard Haiku

From: "Dr.Legume" <drlegume@delanet.com>

Some dumbass posted to alt.slack recently (and also crossposted to a few poetry newsgroups) the question, "Should retarded people be euthanized?"

In order to both answer the question and remain on-topic, I have composed the following Haiku:

-------------------------
I live in terror
The Law says "Kill the Retards".
Legume holds the gun

His shadow engulfs
His bulk is blocking the sun
He thumbs the hammer

I smile stupidly
Doctor Legume does not care
I'm too dumb to know

I piss in my pants
Not because I fear Legume
I'm just retarded

A flash of bright light
He shot me in the kneecap
Just to be a prick

I beg for my life
"Uh muh muh muh uh uh muh"
That's how retards talk

Legume laughs at me
I'm really bleeding a lot
That son of a bitch!

Legume aims at my head
But then turns and walks away
Why won't he kill me?

"You'll bleed to death soon"
The man who shot me chuckled
"Why waste a bullet?"

I deserve this fate
because I am retarded
I'm not a big loss

Things could be much worse
At least I'm not a negro
That would REALLY suck.

Everything goes black
I wake up in Hell because
God hates retards too.
----------------------------------

Dr. K. "Cortez" Legume

Mecagum les cinc llagues de Crist,
mecagum D'eu, en la creu, en el fuster
que la fue i en fill de puta que va plantar el pi

Original file name: A Retard Haiku.txt - converted on Friday, 13 June 2003, 22:43