Subject: Hot Yog-Sothoth Pics on a.b.s.

From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Fri, Dec 13, 2002 11:10 AM

Also, "Bob" meets Nyarlathotep by briefly removing the Pipe from his
mouth to exhale, in a series of new pictures.

(I got aholt of an unusual Macintosh-only kids' 3D art program demo
that begged exploitation.)

Also, selected funny MP3 clips from some ESO radio shows from around
Thanksgiving and Kennedy-Day. And, I have been chopping up and tweaking
the old "Bad Doktors" media barrage tape, and bits of that are
sprinkled throughout. And some Puzzling Evidence-Howll-Philo show
clips.

SWAG NOTE: I took my daughter's advice. Many of the Dobbshead-fronted
shirts and sweatshirts in the catalog had large rectangular color
graphics across the BACK. I'm not much for fabric-related issues so I
figured hey, you get a color picture for free. But, apparently, more
fabric-concerned persons would prefer the back blank, or with a smaller
design up top, across the shoulders. So I redid several garments so
that they now display the word "SubGenius" in St. Kenneth Huey's
special "logo" style a la Book of the SubGenius. In black outline on
the top of the back of the shirt.

It is pretty easy for me to go in there and customize shirts or add
designs, so don't hesitate to ask about customization.

The fuckers at Cafe Press must have run out of the Xmas ornament
materials (called "jewelry" in our catalog), because those items are
gone from all Cafe Press catalogs, DAMN IT! Those were JUST what I
wanted for myself. I'll have to get the ceramic art tiles instead.
Those are gonna be HEAVY hanging from my butt-broomstick, though, damn.

Seriously... I started doing my own Xmas shopping using the Cafe Press
SubGenius store. I can get stuff "for cost" since it's our store. But
it still costs. (The Church does not actually mark these up very much.)
Luckily, credit cards were invented centuries ago.

I was about to buy somebody a 2003 SubG calendar when it sunk in that
she wouldn't be able to display it at work or even at home, BECAUSE IT
HAS A FUCK-SCENE IN IT! It's a completely psychedelicized fuck scene
using computer models instead of real fuckers, but... plus the X-Day
scenes are all hellish and lurid looking, just right for scaring
children or pissing off co-workers . (Much like a calendar of Bible
pictures, come to think of it.)

I am getting the "Bob" at Burning Man Panoramic Wrap-Around Art Mugs
and matching tiles for my Burning Man buddies and the Sacred Hieroglph
wrap-around mug and matching tile for ME. And don't tell Princess Wei,
but I'm working on the complete Princess Wei Trading Tile Set. After
that I'll collect the complete X-Day Panorama set.

I should probably get some of the postcards of LeMur art for the people
I'm too cheap to buy real presents for, although they come out to
around 75 cents each anyway.

Also I cannot live without the lunchbox with the Dobbstown photo on one
side and the Frop harvest picture on the other.

And I must have The SubGenius Must have Slack tote bag so I can haul
crap to the station using a bag showing my own face, distorted, at age
24.

And the 45 Dobbsheads mousepad will give me something to watch slowly
rubbed away over the years.

NEEDLESS TO SAY I need one each of EVERY clock design. And the license
plate frame. And that "America After X-Day" map has been BEGGING to be
a $15 wall poster since 1995.

Last night I totaled up what I wanted to spend JUST ON MYSELF and it
came to about $300. Hrmmmm.

I guess all those people I was gonna buy presents for will just have to
wait till next year. Sorry Mom, Dad, kids. Got to have my Dobbsheads.

Bulldada Time Control Labs will only be able to fill Xmas-y orders up
till Dec. 18th, and then I've got to start packing my sleigh. The Cafe
Press side of the scatalog however will be available for last-minute
shipping all the way through the holidays.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Hot Yog-Sothoth Pics on a.b.s.
From: "ICEKNIFE" <icNOekSPAMnife@lmi.net>

DEAR STINKY DUMBASS WUT NEVER EVER LISTENS TO A SINGLE THING I SAY,
*EVER*;

Someone relay this to retardboy, please, since he don't read my
posts (the ONLY sign of sanity he has EVER shown, btw).

It be very easy to get names and mailing addresses of costume
designers and wardrobe people for different popular TV shows and the
various production companies. Want shwag to sell? PRODUCT PLACEMENT.
Get some blinky teener on Dawson's Greek, or whatever that buttfucking
show is, to wear a Dobbshead T-shirt on the damn show. If yer a soft
drink company, you have to pay for that stuff. When you're a hip and
snarky fringe artfag clique, you can sent them comps, and they use
them.

ARE YOO STOOPID, OR WUT?

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Hot Yog-Sothoth Pics on a.b.s.
From: bobdiddley@aol.com (Bobdiddley)

Stang sez:

>And I must have The SubGenius Must have Slack tote bag so I can haul
>crap to the station using a bag showing my own face, distorted, at age
>24.

You were 24 years old? What a coincidence! I was 24 once, too.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Hot Yog-Sothoth Pics on a.b.s.
From: nenslo <nenslo@yahooX.com>

"Rev. Ivan Stang" wrote:

> It is pretty easy for me to go in there and customize shirts or add
> designs, so don't hesitate to ask about customization.

Make one with a big arrow on the back pointing downward and the words
INSERT PENIS HERE.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Hot Yog-Sothoth Pics on a.b.s.
From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>

nenslo <nenslo@yahooX.com>wrote:
> "Rev. Ivan Stang" wrote:
>
> > It is pretty easy for me to go in there and customize shirts or add
> > designs, so don't hesitate to ask about customization.
>
> Make one with a big arrow on the back pointing downward and the words
> INSERT PENIS HERE.

Damn it Nenslo, you have one half a brain; you should have that shirt
made by Cafe Press and sell 'em yourself. I guarantee you'll sell at
least 3.

I likewise think Blackout should do one with his "I Visualized World
peace and All I Got Was This Lousy T-Shirt". I always wanted to do a
button that said KISS MY BUTTon. Many of us are full of billion-dollar
ideas. We're a regular bunch of one-man Pet Rocks.

It is REALLY easy to have Cafe Press make shirts etc. You make your
artwork 8x10 or 10x8 at 200 dpi, sign in with them, which is like
joining a Yahoo club, and you upload it and SUDDENLY there it is in the
catalog. Believe it or not, some of those shops do okay. I've HEARD.

Our Sub Gee shop will save ourSubG Foundation asses about a month after
Xmas, or at least help keep our asses from being shaved quite so
closely.

I spent about 2 hours in there yesterday ordering one of almost
everything. The horror of it is we're giving most of it away, but I'm
having it all sent here first so I can see what the hell some of these
things really look like. For instance, can a mousepad really be a
suitable surface for something so finely resolved as the 45 Dobbsheads
illo by heart Ignition.

I have a virtual stack of old Nenslo pictures which I thought would
work great on bibs and teddy bears, likewise a stack of Mavreedeez
pictures, but Vreedeez said he wanted to reserve those images for
paintings. You had said here some time back that you had some pics you
thought you might put on Cafe Press products, but then you went and
antagonized with Magdalen about the "approval" aspects, 'cause she
answered your question like she would any obnoxious Bobbie named Alecto
who asked that in public, so I was sort of waiting to see if you would
just go and do your Cafe Press ideas anyway. For all I know, you did.

Interestingly, well, maybe not so interestingly, the stuff of ours that
sells on Cafe Press is the STRAIGHT UP OLD SCHOOL LOGO DOBBSHEADS,
WINGS OF SLACK, "MUST HAVE SLACK" and (dobbs forgive me) the "Bobfish."
Once in a blue moon somebody will get something with the black and
white "Bob" and Connie. All those dozens of colorful computer art
pieces that make the catalog pages themselves look so cool, well,
that's about all they do.

It could be that people do what I tended to do when shopping... start
simple. One simply MUST have the Hieroglyph Mug and Tile, and the
"Bob"-AntiBob and soon, first. I found myself thinking that way when I
was buying stuff myself. Also, whereas you can give something with a
tasteful Dobbshead on it to Aunt Nellie, she might not care for ANY of
the tripped out nudity-tainted full color hippie dippy ones.

I am REALLY REALLY PISSED that they ran out of the Xmas ornament
doohickies, before I got to order any with the mandala Connie patterns
on them. Those were my favorites of the whole catalog, and they were
CHEAP, and now they're GONE, probably for good. And I had managed
through ad copy to turn that cheap junk into fancy jewelry. In my own
mind anyway. AHHHHHHHHH. I believe ONE SUBGENIUS ordered some of those
before they were declared Out of Stock.

My credit card company's robot phoned me IMMEDIATELY after I placed the
order, to ask if I was REALLY SERIOUS and REALLY ME, and not a credit
card defrauder.

God damn it what am I doing on this newsgroup again. I have to mail out
swag and shows by 3. I have to finish and dub THREE fucking Hours of
Slack and mail them by next week. Luckily, Susie the Floozy sent me her
first DIGITALLY produced show, her D.C. Sniper show, which is just
FLAWLESS and will save me work. But GOT-DAMN IT!! And finish copying
off all this other audio so I can copy the 5X-Day video samples
computo-style and mail IT out. And those WEBSITE FIXES I never got to.
FUCK! The XMAS PAGES! FUCK! And that guy wanted some video for that
RAWilson documentary. FUCK!!! And my email is stacked up to HIGH
HEAVEN, seriously, if anybody emailed me and is thinking, "Whoa, I
guess I don't merit answering, what a SNOOT," well, it's not that, it's
all this other shit. Which I'm NOT COMPLAINING ABOUT, mind you. I am
however VERY BUSILY PROCRASTINATING.

Because the IMPORTANT thing was that last night, before I finally
crashed, I determined that I had CRACKED the SECRET of how Bill
Ellsworth did that FUCKING incredible abstract Bryce animation in the
INFINITY'S CHILD video... I have watched that thing in fast-forward and
reverse , with my eyes squinted, 10 times, and I gradually worked out
by logical deduction (and some dated old Bryce manuals) how certain
things MIGHT be done, especially involving animation of the textures,
or rather of SPECIFIC PARAMETERS of the textures, and sure enough, I
ran some thumbnail tests and between the first and second, learned that
a FEATHER TOUCH is PLENTY. Getting those Kai-looking patterns to flow
like water or molten lead was one hurdle. The other is controlled
terrain morphing WHILE USING THAT TERRAIN AS A GLASS LENS... I
THINK.... or in some cases just animating a view of the REFLECTIONS on
a warping terrain... if only these things didn't take so FUCKING LONG
just to test-render. It's the sort of thing that makes one start
hankering for the 1.5 gb RAm dual processor shit. And in the MEANTIME,
because of a free lance DAY JOB, I'm -- get this -- having to learn PHP
programming (or at least exploitation) so that I can set up email
catalog autoresponders for companies without having to hire some kid to
do it for me. Can you fucking believe it. Timed email autoresponders.
In between cutting out SubGenius CD labels. What a way to avoid work.

What's SICK is that I kinda DIG it!

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Hot Yog-Sothoth Pics on a.b.s.
From: hellpopehuey@subgenius.com (HellPopeHuey)

"Rev. Ivan Stang" wrote....

> Many of us are full of billion-dollar
> ideas. We're a regular bunch of one-man Pet Rocks.

I was gonna make up a HellPope Huey t-shirt, all swirly synths and
Dobbsheads over flaming braziers, 'Wizard of Oz" style. Then I looked
in the mirror and realized I was as ugly as a bag full of Legumes and
that the 3 people who wore one would break out in nasty bumps and try
to sue the Church. There goes my 15 minutes in about 25 seconds.
Shidagawdamn.

--

HellPope Huey® hellpopehuey@subgenius.com
You're squeezing the wrong spheres, dummy

"When we moved to New York in '67, we had this
miserable f**king apartment on Thompson Street,
but it was a block away from (Edgar) Varese's house.
He was already dead by that time, but I used to walk by there
and see that red lacquer door and just try to imagine
what it would be like to be trapped in that apartment
not writing music for 25 years."
- Frank Zappa

"Are you okay?"
"No, I'm kinda f**ked up in general,
so its hard to gauge."
- "Death To Smoochy"

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Original file name: Hot Yog-Sothoth Pics on a.b.s. - converted on Monday, 21 July 2003, 13:44