Subject: YOU PEOPLE II!!

From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Sat, May 4, 2002 2:32 PM
Message-ID: <040520021433054902%stang@subgenius.com>

YOU PEOPLE II!!

YOU PEOPLE! You make me SICK!

Just out of sheer morbid pissedness, I have been reading through all
the SHITTY parts of alt.slack, the stuff too ugly to ever commit to
SubSITE, but too LAWSUIT-SUGGESTIVE to NOT save... and you-all have to
be the most VENAL, self serving, MEAN, judgemental, intolerant,
cliqueish, blinker-visioned, UNSlackful, UNFUNNY bunch of childish
cowardly shut-ins on the whole Internet.

The only thing you hate more than each other is your own selves --
which fact bleeds through PAINFULLY, in the most INADVERTENT WAYS --
and your hate for the Conspiracy is WAY down the list compared to your
hate for your next door neighbors, or your next-thread alt.slack.fux,
as the case may be. What you feel for your boss, though nothing more
than Stockholm Syndrome, is probably as close to love as you rabble are
ever going to get.

I'm telling you, poring through all the stuff that I saved from
alt.slack -- but banished from SubSITE -- is the equivalent of bathing
in a vat of putrescent dead things.

I cannot believe that so many of you have LIVED THIS LONG, that nobody
with half a brain has KILLED you yet, to put you out of your TEDIOUS
misery. My GOD, no WONDER the Xists haven't rescued our sorry asses.
"Alt.slack", Jesus H. Christ, you call this "SLACK"? Senseless
juvenile pummeling just for the sake of pummeling? No better than
schoolyard bullies gathered around whoever is this week's victim.
Welcome to the "Bob" Damned Monkey House. The gorilla hates the cage,
so he beats the orangutang, who beats the chimp, who beats the gibbons,
who beat that one little Capucine Monkey, who just sits in the corner
beating off and eating his own shit -- when they'll LET him.

You people make me THAT SICK!

And half the time you think it's FUNNY!

I think I'm going to fucking PUKE, just looking at the lot of you.

Even Saturday Night Live is funnier than this newsgroup, thus making
alt.slack lamer than anything else on the whole planet.

I could, like everybody else, say, "I'm smarter than everybody else,
you're so STUPID," but, just like it is when you say it, it would be an
INCREDIBLY STUPID LIE, indeed, the most telling and SADDEST kind of
unintended irony.

You pathetic maggots. When "Bob" finds out what you've been up to...

Well you just better buy a SHITLOAD of Connie related products is all I
can say.

http://www.subgenius.com/scatalog.html

And so had I.

--
4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected (Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
P.O. Box 181417, Cleveland, OH 44118 (fax 216-320-9528)
A subsidiary of:
The SubGenius Foundation, Inc. / P.O. Box 204206, Austin, TX 78720-4206
Dobbs-Approved Authorized Commercial Outreach of The Church of the SubGenius
SubSITE: http://www.subgenius.com
For SubGenius Biz & Orders: call toll free to 1-888-669-2323
or email: jesus@subgenius.com
PRABOB

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: YOU PEOPLE II!!
From: Slackitude <allyerslack@whereyathink.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Sat, May 4, 2002 3:42 PM
Message-ID: <Xns9204975ED8EA7allyerslackrighthere@130.94.89.1>

"Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com> wrote in news:040520021433054902%
stang@subgenius.com:

> YOU PEOPLE II!!
>
> YOU PEOPLE! You make me SICK!
>
> Just out of sheer morbid pissedness, I have been reading through all
> the SHITTY parts of alt.slack, the stuff too ugly to ever commit to
> SubSITE, but too LAWSUIT-SUGGESTIVE to NOT save... and you-all have to
> be the most VENAL, self serving, MEAN, judgemental, intolerant,
> cliqueish, blinker-visioned, UNSlackful, UNFUNNY bunch of childish
> cowardly shut-ins on the whole Internet.
>
> The only thing you hate more than each other is your own selves --
> which fact bleeds through PAINFULLY, in the most INADVERTENT WAYS --
> and your hate for the Conspiracy is WAY down the list compared to your
> hate for your next door neighbors, or your next-thread alt.slack.fux,
> as the case may be. What you feel for your boss, though nothing more
> than Stockholm Syndrome, is probably as close to love as you rabble are
> ever going to get.
>
> I'm telling you, poring through all the stuff that I saved from
> alt.slack -- but banished from SubSITE -- is the equivalent of bathing
> in a vat of putrescent dead things.
>
> I cannot believe that so many of you have LIVED THIS LONG, that nobody
> with half a brain has KILLED you yet, to put you out of your TEDIOUS
> misery. My GOD, no WONDER the Xists haven't rescued our sorry asses.
> "Alt.slack", Jesus H. Christ, you call this "SLACK"? Senseless
> juvenile pummeling just for the sake of pummeling? No better than
> schoolyard bullies gathered around whoever is this week's victim.
> Welcome to the "Bob" Damned Monkey House. The gorilla hates the cage,
> so he beats the orangutang, who beats the chimp, who beats the gibbons,
> who beat that one little Capucine Monkey, who just sits in the corner
> beating off and eating his own shit -- when they'll LET him.
>
> You people make me THAT SICK!
>
> And half the time you think it's FUNNY!
>
> I think I'm going to fucking PUKE, just looking at the lot of you.
>
> Even Saturday Night Live is funnier than this newsgroup, thus making
> alt.slack lamer than anything else on the whole planet.
>
> I could, like everybody else, say, "I'm smarter than everybody else,
> you're so STUPID," but, just like it is when you say it, it would be an
> INCREDIBLY STUPID LIE, indeed, the most telling and SADDEST kind of
> unintended irony.
>
> You pathetic maggots. When "Bob" finds out what you've been up to...
>
> Well you just better buy a SHITLOAD of Connie related products is all I
> can say.
>
> http://www.subgenius.com/scatalog.html
>
> And so had I.
>

I hang my third and fourth heads in shame and self loathing. If I
surround myself with ikon and Connie covered thingamawhiggies, will that
help any? I'd hate to have to go back to the jesuits. Oh where oh where
can I find something to buy with ikon's on it? Preferably
online...There's a need that needs filling and I bet if some amazing
person did that there'd be salvation and slack for them for all time and
a bit longer as well. Oh wait there's a link here. Holy Jesus H. Jumped
Up Christ on a rocket powered freaking sidecar! I'm saved!

-----------== Posted via Newsfeeds.Com - Uncensored Usenet News ==----------
http://www.newsfeeds.com The #1 Newsgroup Service in the World!
-----= Over 100,000 Newsgroups - Ulimited Fast Downloads - 19 Servers =-----

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: YOU PEOPLE II!!
From: "nu-monet v4.0" <nothing@succeeds.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Reply-To: like.excess@sex.org
Date: Sat, May 4, 2002 4:20 PM
Message-ID: <3CD44274.6BB2@succeeds.com>

Rev. Ivan Stang wrote:
>
> YOU PEOPLE II!!
>
> YOU PEOPLE! You make me SICK!
>

my semen.

you're soaking in it.

--
"YOU BELONG TO US NOW!"
"GET DOWN WITH MY SICKNESS!!"

--Kino Beman, brand name

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: YOU PEOPLE II!!
From: SubGenius Spice <SGSpice@safe-mail.netnoise>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Sat, May 4, 2002 6:27 PM
Message-ID: <kvn8du8aa0oip89gtvbf0ms58c72a47p0j@4ax.com>

"Rev. Ivan Stang" wanted alt.slack to know:

>I'm telling you, poring through all the stuff that I saved from
>alt.slack -- but banished from SubSITE -- is the equivalent of bathing
>in a vat of putrescent dead things.

every church has it's pew.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: YOU PEOPLE II!!
From: "the rev. dr. mobiustrip" <mobiustrip@disinfo.net>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Sat, May 4, 2002 6:48 PM
Message-ID: <dzZA8.6251$Dx3.4782@nwrddc02.gnilink.net>

"Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com> wrote in message
news:040520021433054902%stang@subgenius.com...

> The only thing you hate more than each other is your own selves --
> which fact bleeds through PAINFULLY, in the most INADVERTENT WAYS --
> and your hate for the Conspiracy is WAY down the list compared to your
> hate for your next door neighbors, or your next-thread alt.slack.fux,
> as the case may be. What you feel for your boss, though nothing more
> than Stockholm Syndrome, is probably as close to love as you rabble are
> ever going to get.

i'm confused.. i've been trolling this ng for a few years now, and well, i
never much considered love to be part of the subgenius ethos.. not as so
much as ridicule anyway. in fact, if i remember correctly, i was verbally
berated at one point for suggesting such a thing as tolerance,
understanding, compassion, among subgenii and others in a post here. in
fact, my all time favorite stang rant is the one on HOS #777, which i still
listen to every few weeks, where you go off on the subgenii who believe the
jews control hollywood and so forth. "do we have to dirty up our clean
killing with hate?"

maybe i'm a fool and that last post was all a pitch to sell aprons and mugs,
and well... perhaps i rationalize the church too much... maybe my
understanding of the "brain reality toolkit" and the
blasphemy-as-a-way-to-uninstantiate-dogma and liberate the mind from the
stranglehold of an oppresive mental environment is all wrong. maybe it's
all one big joke. maybe it's just a collective of racist trailer trash who
have an unsettling sense of humor.

or maybe i'm right, and, even tho i'm no major initiate.. even tho i never
made it to an x-day drill or a devival or doctors for "bob" concert.. even
tho i don't make it to IRC church on sunday nights.. maybe i get it a bit
more than a bunch of these other fuckers out here do.

so when i post a massive rant about my recent experience in jamaica hanging
out with rastafarians, and how i was trying to get the input of other
spiritual seekers who study all the world's religions and paths with a
discerning eye, and who have a good enough sense of humor and intelligence
to truly understand the value of the church of the subgenius, that post goes
unnoticed, unreplied to, uninvestigated.. whereas the drivel about random
nothingness and unfunny nonsense spurs mile long threads. it's a major
dissapointment.

so i officially exclude myself from that tirade there, stang. cuz i love to
the point where it does me harm. cuz i don't take this bullshit to heart.
cuz i don't think i'm holier than thou, yet i'm not afraid to come with a
degree of audacity. cuz "bob" dobbs has been pouring the slack on me for
the last month straight and i'm more thankful for the yeti blood surging
through my veins than i have ever been. because i've learned that you can't
have "bob" without jhvh-1 and vice versa, you'll never appreciate one
without the other, and that that's just the way it is. because stang,
you're probably one of the foremost thinkers of the modern era and are
completely unappreciated by the pink literati, and i can see it. because
the church of the subgenius to me is a joke and it isn't. because i fucking
get it even if i don't.

i hope people wake up.. i hope they realize the whole point of this is to
help them to wake up, and to get over that racist, homophobic, sexist drivel
they flood this ng with. i hope and i hope. but i'm probably just opening
myself up here to more vehement ignorance here and well...

whatever.

praise "bob" .. love, guidance, and protection .. slack unto the nations
much respect to he most high, haile unlikely i, "bob" dobbstafari

the rev. dr. mobiustrip
http://www.the44.net/blog

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: YOU PEOPLE II!!
From: sanfordandson40@hotmail.com (Kat Suit Model)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Sat, May 4, 2002 10:43 PM
Message-ID: <5767da89.0205041843.2245cf40@posting.google.com>

"Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com> wrote in message news:<040520021433054902%stang@subgenius.com>...
> YOU PEOPLE II!!
>
> YOU PEOPLE! You make me SICK!

If you can't offer us examples, we can't correct our behavior. I gave
up writing long, witty and insightful things to this group when
Internet Exploder ATE my 5-page essay. True, I *should* have cut &
pasted. I *should* have used Notepad or Word. I *should* have realized
that MS's sadistic programmers made it so that going to another window
and telling Explorer to change the way it views DIRECTORIES would
cause INTERNET Explorer to do a "reload" on a WEB FORM.

Regardless of what I should have done, instead I got really really
pissed and walked away and haven't written anything over, say, 3
paragraphs since. THANK YOU FOR UNDERMINING MY PURSUIT OF RELIGION,
MICROSOFT!

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: YOU PEOPLE II!!
From: Legume <none@yerbiz.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Sat, May 4, 2002 11:28 PM
Message-ID: <Xns9204EED46BC16CortezLegume18465086@216.166.71.239>

Rev. Ivan Stang wrote:

> YOU PEOPLE II!!
>
> YOU PEOPLE! You make me SICK!

Shut up, Pink Boy.
--
Legume

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: YOU PEOPLE II!!
From: nerv@subdimension.com (Son Gohan)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Sun, May 5, 2002 9:34 AM
Message-ID: <3cd53322.32413101@news.erols.com>

On Sat, 04 May 2002 18:32:44 GMT, "Rev. Ivan Stang"
<stang@subgenius.com> wrote:

>The only thing you hate more than each other is your own selves --
>which fact bleeds through PAINFULLY, in the most INADVERTENT WAYS --
>and your hate for the Conspiracy is WAY down the list compared to your
>hate for your next door neighbors, or your next-thread alt.slack.fux,
>as the case may be. What you feel for your boss, though nothing more
>than Stockholm Syndrome, is probably as close to love as you rabble are
>ever going to get.

Huh?

Well, yeah, of course they're a bunch of unfunny, humorless snots. At
times. And incredibly funny incredibly clever people. At times.

IS THAT NOT THE WAY?? Why, I remember pissing off Lilith in the holy
chatroom by talking about how she was doing all them "slave snuggles"
and clogging up my HATE. She got unhappy, left; I don't go in much, so
no idea what she's up to nowadays (for what it's worth, Lil: how you
treat your slave ain't my bidness if you're not in my face 'bout it)
but, uh...
what the hell was my point.

I didn't have one!!!! PRAISE FUCKING "BOB"!!!!!!!!!!

ps - what are the current rates on Church Air?

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: YOU PEOPLE II!!
From: IMBJR <imbjr@imbjr.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Sun, May 5, 2002 3:40 PM
Message-ID: <oj2bduocerf9qeo82bqgtnhkhinu3mdtke@4ax.com>

On Sat, 04 May 2002 22:53:17 GMT, "Two Beans"
<twobeans@godhatesyou.com> wrote:

>
>"Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com> wrote in message
>news:040520021433054902%stang@subgenius.com...
>> YOU PEOPLE II!!
>>
>> YOU PEOPLE! You make me SICK!
>>
>
>Yes! Not ONE RESPONCE to my Houndeye posts! What the fuck is wrong with
>you?! Do you not think the Houndeye is worthy of posting images to a.b.s.??
>
>I'll have you know that the Houndeye is the official mascot of X-Day 5....to
>me at least! Just like Image the Twain-Faced Kitten was last year!
>
>
>DO NOT DENY THE HOUNDEYE!
>
>hey, that rhymed....

I bet you kill them things as soon as you see them.

I was very much for the cacodemons in Doom, but I still fugged their
arses dead.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: YOU PEOPLE II!!
From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Sun, May 5, 2002 3:53 PM
Message-ID: <050520021554183477%stang@subgenius.com>

In article <kvn8du8aa0oip89gtvbf0ms58c72a47p0j@4ax.com>, SubGenius
Spice <SGSpice@safe-mail.netnoise> wrote:

> "Rev. Ivan Stang" wanted alt.slack to know:
>
> >I'm telling you, poring through all the stuff that I saved from
> >alt.slack -- but banished from SubSITE -- is the equivalent of bathing
> >in a vat of putrescent dead things.
>
>
> every church has it's pew.
>

WHOA!!! Good line! I'm gonna stick that in the Stanky memory banks... I
am sure there will be several 'just the right occasions' for that one.
Especially if Crater Lake at Brushwood is full of torpid life this
X-Day.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: YOU PEOPLE II!!
From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Sun, May 5, 2002 4:24 PM
Message-ID: <050520021624574109%stang@subgenius.com>

In article <dzZA8.6251$Dx3.4782@nwrddc02.gnilink.net>, the rev. dr.
mobiustrip <mobiustrip@disinfo.net> wrote:

> "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com> wrote in message
> news:040520021433054902%stang@subgenius.com...
>
> > The only thing you hate more than each other is your own selves --
> > which fact bleeds through PAINFULLY, in the most INADVERTENT WAYS --
> > and your hate for the Conspiracy is WAY down the list compared to your
> > hate for your next door neighbors, or your next-thread alt.slack.fux,
> > as the case may be. What you feel for your boss, though nothing more
> > than Stockholm Syndrome, is probably as close to love as you rabble are
> > ever going to get.
>
> i'm confused.. i've been trolling this ng for a few years now, and well, i
> never much considered love to be part of the subgenius ethos.. not as so
> much as ridicule anyway. in fact, if i remember correctly, i was verbally
> berated at one point for suggesting such a thing as tolerance,
> understanding, compassion, among subgenii and others in a post here.

You just can't be CORNY when you do it, that's the thing. A thin thin
line to tread, sometimes achieved only by CHANCE.

> in
> fact, my all time favorite stang rant is the one on HOS #777, which i still
> listen to every few weeks, where you go off on the subgenii who believe the
> jews control hollywood and so forth. "do we have to dirty up our clean
> killing with hate?"
>
> maybe i'm a fool and that last post was all a pitch to sell aprons and mugs,
> and well... perhaps i rationalize the church too much... maybe my
> understanding of the "brain reality toolkit" and the
> blasphemy-as-a-way-to-uninstantiate-dogma and liberate the mind from the
> stranglehold of an oppresive mental environment is all wrong. maybe it's
> all one big joke. maybe it's just a collective of racist trailer trash who
> have an unsettling sense of humor.

Probably all three, no matter how anybody WANTS it.

Actually that post was whipped out strictly for the big laffs I hoped
it'd create in those who read the PREVIOUS post ttitles YOU PEOPLE!,
from two days earlier.

That first post of mine was meant as a sincere and sweet
acknowledgement to the hilarious and talented folks who post here.

Yesterday I got to thinking, "That post was probably pretty corny. To
be a Good SubGenius I should make sure and post a mean pissed off
mirror image of it, just to confuse some and provide a laff to others.

Also, both YOU PEOPLE's are true. They are both lies of omission
created during the process of omitting the alt.slack crap from what I
was gonna put on SubSITE (with the help of the Three New Wise Guys).
The first post was how rereading ONLY the GOOD parts of this newsgroup
made me feel. The second, angry sounding post was actually made up off
the top of my head. I hadn't actually been looking morbidly over all
the nasty shit. I just wanted to balance out the corny but pleasant
truth of the one with the anti-corny but unpleasant truth of the other.
Thus in sum providing THE WHOLE TRUTH, ha ha.

I don't believe that there are any all-inclusive, alway-true rules to
live by. We were not given an instruction book for anything besides how
to find grub and how to make babies. Each person and each situation
must be handled differently. And that is what's GOOD. There is no
simple answer to much of anything. The complexity itself is cool as
hell, but you CANNOT make the complex simple.

I believe that Rush Liberal is every bit as guilty of this as Rush
Limbaugh. My wife gets UTNE READER. Actually I remember when they were
a tiny zine that trded with our tiny zine, 20 years ago. In skimming
that mag now, I get exactly thee same creepy feeling that I get from
the Dittoheads -- this insanely prideful certainty that there is this
"cool," "right" way that's "our way" and that if some opposing facts
have to be sidestepped in order to keep THE TRUTH uncluttered, then so
be it. In other words, the end justifies the lies of omission because
"WE'RE RIGHT." And that's what it's all about -- LIES OF OMISSION.
Neither type of Rush is LYING exactly; they say little that can't be
substantiated on some level by somebody. It's what they LEAVE OUT that
tells the tale.

When you read with a skeptical eye, it gets to the point that almost
everything can be interpreted as being utterly self serving -- these
words included.

People tend to prefer whatever proves they were right all along. That
creates a vicious mental circle and perpetuates self perpetuating
philopsophies that inevitably lead kook-ward.

I have no easy answers, but I'm not trying to play mind games either.

My two matching posts are meant to be taken together... when you
combine the devil's eye view of alt.slack with the angel's eye view of
it, you get a DAMNED INTERESTING composite or cross section.

You'll notice that my NICE version of You People got exactly ONE
response in three days, and this one got over a dozen already. No news
is good news but people only get moved to action by the bad news.

I was about to send the little rant when I read Magdalen's "WELL FINE
THEN," and realized I should do my companiacal duty and turn it into an
ad no matter what. So I tacked that on at the end, to be a good Sacred
Scribe and not just a jack-off artist.

>
> or maybe i'm right, and, even tho i'm no major initiate.. even tho i never
> made it to an x-day drill or a devival or doctors for "bob" concert.. even
> tho i don't make it to IRC church on sunday nights.. maybe i get it a bit
> more than a bunch of these other fuckers out here do.
>
> so when i post a massive rant about my recent experience in jamaica hanging
> out with rastafarians, and how i was trying to get the input of other
> spiritual seekers who study all the world's religions and paths with a
> discerning eye, and who have a good enough sense of humor and intelligence
> to truly understand the value of the church of the subgenius, that post goes
> unnoticed, unreplied to, uninvestigated.. whereas the drivel about random
> nothingness and unfunny nonsense spurs mile long threads. it's a major
> dissapointment.

Well, let me put it this way. I saved it and it'll be on SubSITE. But I
only skimmed it. I didn't have TIME to read it! I probably will
eventually. But it looked like the kind of thing that lots of folks
would enjoy reading, including me, some time.

This has ALWAYS been the Way of this newsgroup, though. The binaries ng
is the same way. Masterpieces about Life the Universe and Everything
are met with quibbles about spelling. Or Tori Spelling.

Millions for defense but not one cent for tribute, I guess is the
philosophy.

>
> so i officially exclude myself from that tirade there, stang.

The tirade was too ridiculously all-encompassing for ANYONE to take
personally, I would think.

> cuz i love to
> the point where it does me harm. cuz i don't take this bullshit to heart.
> cuz i don't think i'm holier than thou, yet i'm not afraid to come with a
> degree of audacity. cuz "bob" dobbs has been pouring the slack on me for
> the last month straight and i'm more thankful for the yeti blood surging
> through my veins than i have ever been. because i've learned that you can't
> have "bob" without jhvh-1 and vice versa, you'll never appreciate one
> without the other, and that that's just the way it is. because stang,
> you're probably one of the foremost thinkers of the modern era and are
> completely unappreciated by the pink literati, and i can see it. because
> the church of the subgenius to me is a joke and it isn't. because i fucking
> get it even if i don't.

Now THIS man has true taste and discernment. ((Background sound: urgent
"whack whack" noises))

>
> i hope people wake up.. i hope they realize the whole point of this is to
> help them to wake up, and to get over that racist, homophobic, sexist drivel
> they flood this ng with. i hope and i hope. but i'm probably just opening
> myself up here to more vehement ignorance here and well...
>

Slack comes first in the life of any Initiate... "Bob" said that. If
you REALLY have lots of Slack you will automatically be reflecting it
back onto others in some manner, so, as Voltaire said, if you want to
change the world, cultivate your garden.

And thank you for ASKING.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: YOU PEOPLE II!!
From: Her Ladyship Lilith von Fraumench <lilith@ZubJenius.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Sun, May 5, 2002 6:12 PM
Message-ID: <050520021512156673%lilith@ZubJenius.com>

In article <050520021624574109%stang@subgenius.com>, Rev. Ivan Stang
<stang@subgenius.com> wrote:

> People tend to prefer whatever proves they were right all along. That
> creates a vicious mental circle and perpetuates self perpetuating
> philopsophies that inevitably lead kook-ward.

You will pay for a subscription to know what you really think.

Her Ladyship Lilith

--
\m/ -=8=- http://lilith.foolspress.com/ -=8=- \m/

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: YOU PEOPLE II!!
From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Sun, May 5, 2002 4:39 PM
Message-ID: <050520021640129160%stang@subgenius.com>

In article <5767da89.0205041843.2245cf40@posting.google.com>, Kat Suit
Model <sanfordandson40@hotmail.com> wrote:

> "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com> wrote in message
> news:<040520021433054902%stang@subgenius.com>...
> > YOU PEOPLE II!!
> >
> > YOU PEOPLE! You make me SICK!
>
> If you can't offer us examples, we can't correct our behavior.

What I was doing was more in the nature of a cartoon, or a lampoon, or
a harpoon. I posted a sweet and friendly companion piece of almost the
same title a couple of days earlier which thanked everyone for behaving
just right.

To tell the truth I was wondering to myself, "Now how would Dyskolos or
Yard Man have handled that?" and I got this devilish idea to do just
this extreme lie by omission. One DOES get more response by being mean
than by being nice... I thought, hey, I'll be mean ABOUT being mean!
I'll write a real assholeish thing about how bad assholes are. I'll,
like, do a recursive double-blind reverse-bulldada whiparound
constructed in an almost mathetmatical manner that, if you stand back a
couple of steps and look at it, obviously is meant to be a depiction
of... well, I forgot where I was going with that, but it was real
modernistical and artistical.

> I gave
> up writing long, witty and insightful things to this group when
> Internet Exploder ATE my 5-page essay. True, I *should* have cut &
> pasted. I *should* have used Notepad or Word. I *should* have realized
> that MS's sadistic programmers made it so that going to another window
> and telling Explorer to change the way it views DIRECTORIES would
> cause INTERNET Explorer to do a "reload" on a WEB FORM.
>
> Regardless of what I should have done, instead I got really really
> pissed and walked away and haven't written anything over, say, 3
> paragraphs since. THANK YOU FOR UNDERMINING MY PURSUIT OF RELIGION,
> MICROSOFT!

In 1985 I wrote a KILLER essay about the horrific direction implied by
the popularity of The Transformers toys (which my son and I LOVED). I
mean it was the greatest, most witty and incisive essay you ever saw.
Only NHGH got it! The power flickered for HALF A SECOND and it all...
WENT AWAY. (I was on a 512k classic first-edition Mac.)

I DID wimp out on that essay and never tried to write it gain.

I did however get back on the horse, onliest difference is, now I hit
SAVE every paragrpah no matter what I'm doing. Like using your turn
signal -- a GOOD HABIT.

I also back shit up like a crazy paranoid madman, with disk copies in
secret stashes many cities away.

But anyway I really LOVE alt.slack, in fact I even love the hate. To me
that's a sign of health and true democracy. The fact that we CAN still
argue VEHEMENTLY about very basic issues. The Con hasn't squelched our
individuality yet.

About the only hate that irritates me is when people hatefully hate the
other haters. I just fucking HATE that.

I only half hate it, if they LOVINGLY hate the other haters. But the
problem is, when they PRETEND to do that, the true super-ultra-hate is
what actually comes shining through, like a hideous awful laser of
constantly-backfiring self-righteousness.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: YOU PEOPLE II!!
From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Sun, May 5, 2002 4:42 PM
Message-ID: <050520021642216922%stang@subgenius.com>

In article <Xns9204EED46BC16CortezLegume18465086@216.166.71.239>,
Legume <none@yerbiz.com> wrote:

> Rev. Ivan Stang wrote:
>
> > YOU PEOPLE II!!
> >
> > YOU PEOPLE! You make me SICK!
>
> Shut up, Pink Boy.

Meet me in Amsterdam, big boy! ((Stang flutters eyelashes at Legume
provocatively, J'lahn-like.))

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: YOU PEOPLE II!!
From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Sun, May 5, 2002 4:50 PM
Message-ID: <050520021650256032%stang@subgenius.com>

In article <3cd53322.32413101@news.erols.com>, Son Gohan
<nerv@subdimension.com> wrote:

> On Sat, 04 May 2002 18:32:44 GMT, "Rev. Ivan Stang"
> <stang@subgenius.com> wrote:
>
> >The only thing you hate more than each other is your own selves --
> >which fact bleeds through PAINFULLY, in the most INADVERTENT WAYS --
> >and your hate for the Conspiracy is WAY down the list compared to your
> >hate for your next door neighbors, or your next-thread alt.slack.fux,
> >as the case may be. What you feel for your boss, though nothing more
> >than Stockholm Syndrome, is probably as close to love as you rabble are
> >ever going to get.
>
> Huh?
>
> Well, yeah, of course they're a bunch of unfunny, humorless snots. At
> times. And incredibly funny incredibly clever people. At times.
>

I think you have only been reading the newsgroup -- at times. My post
was the punchline to an earlier "loveburger" post by me. Actually, vice
versa, but it came out this way so HEUNH!

Of COURSE I love all the hate and flaming. If you don't feel free to
tell even Good King Stang "shut up Pink Boy," then, as you say, the
Hate Gland gets clogged.

I had been feeling too much love for the haters of alt.slack and had
even gotten corny about it, so that little essay was my way of
unclogging my own hate gland and also giving my good buddies a good
clean laff.

Plus sometimes I get jealous of the full-time pro trollers and mad-dog
troublemakers. Like, they get to be Total Assholes with all guns
blazing; why can't I, now and then? The main reason is, I'm not very
good at it, being such a saintly fellow and all. THEY would probably
say it's from too much pot smoking in my youth. My recent youth. The
youth I'm still clinging to pathetically like Baron Munchausen riding
that cannonball by accident.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: YOU PEOPLE II!!
From: joecosby@mindspring.com (Joe Cosby)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Sun, May 5, 2002 5:17 PM
Message-ID: <3cd5a156.140291070@news.cis.dfn.de>

"Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com> hunched over a computer,
typing feverishly;
thunder crashed, "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com> laughed
madly, then wrote:

>I think you have only been reading the newsgroup -- at times. My post
>was the punchline to an earlier "loveburger" post by me. Actually, vice
>versa, but it came out this way so HEUNH!
>

Three responses to that one and 28 to this one

--
Joe Cosby
http://joecosby.home.mindspring.com

" A little sincerity is a dangerous thing
and a great deal of it is absolutely fatal." - Oscar Wilde

Sig by Kookie Jar 5.98d http://go.to/generalfrenetics/

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: YOU PEOPLE II!!
From: Her Ladyship Lilith von Fraumench <lilith@ZubJenius.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Sun, May 5, 2002 6:12 PM
Message-ID: <050520021512106383%lilith@ZubJenius.com>

In article <050520021650256032%stang@subgenius.com>, Rev. Ivan Stang
<stang@subgenius.com> wrote:

> I think you have only been reading the newsgroup -- at times. My post
> was the punchline to an earlier "loveburger" post by me. Actually, vice
> versa, but it came out this way so HEUNH!

I liked how it came on the heels of me calling all "You" a bunch of
dumb motherfuckers, then begging for money. That's comedy!

Her Ladyship Lilith

--
\m/ -=8=- http://lilith.foolspress.com/ -=8=- \m/

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: YOU PEOPLE II!!
From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Sun, May 5, 2002 4:53 PM
Message-ID: <050520021653357440%stang@subgenius.com>

In article <Xns920576B3C3A54CortezLegume18465086@216.166.71.239>,
Legume <none@yerbiz.com> wrote:

> Joe Cosby wrote:
>
> > Legume <none@yerbiz.com> hunched over a computer, typing feverishly;
> > thunder crashed, Legume <none@yerbiz.com> laughed madly, then wrote:
> >
> >>Rev. Ivan Stang wrote:
> >>
> >>> YOU PEOPLE II!!
> >>>
> >>> YOU PEOPLE! You make me SICK!
> >>
> >>Shut up, Pink Boy.
> >>--
> >>Legume
> >
> > I owe you a beer, legume.
>
> Heh, it WAS the obvious response, and doctrinal as well. And it was quick
> and easy, thus preserving my slack.

Well, you didn't say "Shut Up Pink Boy" when I was saying how BRILLIANT
and SCINTILATINGLY WITTY you are, in the PREVIOUS "You People" post,
now DID ya? No, you're just a bit SELECTIVE about when to spring
correct dogma, mmmm HM.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: YOU PEOPLE II!!
From: friday3@earthlink.net (Friday Jones)
Newsgroups: alt.slack,alt.friday
Date: Sun, May 5, 2002 7:43 PM
Message-ID: <friday3-ya02408000R0505021946060001@news.earthlink.net>

In article <050520021653357440%stang@subgenius.com>, "Rev. Ivan Stang"
<stang@subgenius.com> wrote:

>In article <Xns920576B3C3A54CortezLegume18465086@216.166.71.239>,
>Legume <none@yerbiz.com> wrote:
>
>> Joe Cosby wrote:
>>
>> > Legume <none@yerbiz.com> hunched over a computer, typing feverishly;
>> > thunder crashed, Legume <none@yerbiz.com> laughed madly, then wrote:
>> >
>> >>Rev. Ivan Stang wrote:
>> >>
>> >>> YOU PEOPLE II!!
>> >>>
>> >>> YOU PEOPLE! You make me SICK!
>> >>
>> >>Shut up, Pink Boy.
>> >>--
>> >>Legume
>> >
>> > I owe you a beer, legume.
>>
>> Heh, it WAS the obvious response, and doctrinal as well. And it was quick
>> and easy, thus preserving my slack.
>
>Well, you didn't say "Shut Up Pink Boy" when I was saying how BRILLIANT
>and SCINTILATINGLY WITTY you are, in the PREVIOUS "You People" post,
>now DID ya? No, you're just a bit SELECTIVE about when to spring
>correct dogma, mmmm HM.

New sign for SubGenius home:

BEWARE OF THE DOGMA

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: YOU PEOPLE II!!
From: Her Ladyship Lilith von Fraumench <lilith@ZubJenius.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Sun, May 5, 2002 6:12 PM
Message-ID: <050520021512045996%lilith@ZubJenius.com>

In article <3cd53322.32413101@news.erols.com>, Son Gohan
<nerv@subdimension.com> wrote:

> what the hell was my point.

I dunno. Who the fuck ARE you anyhow?

Her Snuggleship Lilith

--
\m/ -=8=- http://lilith.foolspress.com/ -=8=- \m/

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: YOU PEOPLE II!!
From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Sun, May 5, 2002 8:07 PM
Message-ID: <050520022008054123%stang@subgenius.com>

In article <3cd5a156.140291070@news.cis.dfn.de>, Joe Cosby
<joecosby@mindspring.com> wrote:

> "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com> hunched over a computer,
> typing feverishly;
> thunder crashed, "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com> laughed
> madly, then wrote:
>
>
> >I think you have only been reading the newsgroup -- at times. My post
> >was the punchline to an earlier "loveburger" post by me. Actually, vice
> >versa, but it came out this way so HEUNH!
> >
>
> Three responses to that one and 28 to this one
>

That's nothin'... back in the old days, Nickie Deathchick could get
upwards of 50 essay-long responses to one-line, one-post phrases like,
"You're stupid" or "Get fucked." All these brilliant intellectuals
would take hours out of their days to explain to her how stupid she
was. There was even a special e-list about how stupid Nickie was, and
what a waste of time she must be.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: YOU PEOPLE II!!
From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Sun, May 5, 2002 8:07 PM
Message-ID: <050520022008054123%stang@subgenius.com>

In article <3cd5a156.140291070@news.cis.dfn.de>, Joe Cosby
<joecosby@mindspring.com> wrote:

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: YOU PEOPLE II!!
From: dyskolos <dyskolos@menander.org>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Mon, May 6, 2002 2:28 AM
Message-ID: <3CD622A4.1A4F04CF@menander.org>

"Rev. Ivan Stang" wrote:
>
> In article <3cd5a156.140291070@news.cis.dfn.de>, Joe Cosby
> <joecosby@mindspring.com> wrote:
>
> > "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com> hunched over a computer,
> > typing feverishly;
> > thunder crashed, "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com> laughed
> > madly, then wrote:
> >
> >
> > >I think you have only been reading the newsgroup -- at times. My post
> > >was the punchline to an earlier "loveburger" post by me. Actually, vice
> > >versa, but it came out this way so HEUNH!
> > >
> >
> > Three responses to that one and 28 to this one
> >
>
> That's nothin'... back in the old days, Nickie Deathchick could get
> upwards of 50 essay-long responses to one-line, one-post phrases like,
> "You're stupid" or "Get fucked." All these brilliant intellectuals
> would take hours out of their days to explain to her how stupid she
> was. There was even a special e-list about how stupid Nickie was, and
> what a waste of time she must be.
>

Nickie is one of the few posters to this group I could really respect,
for just that reason. I would work on people for days to get them
into an hilarious spectacle of idiocy, and she'd just say one thing
and POW!

And that thing you said earlier about Munchausen's cannonball... if I
thought you'd gotten that from something you'd read instead of that
herkyjerky movie I'd almost begin to respect YOU. You luck out again,
funny monkey.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: YOU PEOPLE II!!
From: dyskolos <dyskolos@menander.org>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Mon, May 6, 2002 2:19 AM
Message-ID: <3CD6207B.54A6FE7B@menander.org>

"Rev. Ivan Stang" wrote:
>
>
> I believe that Rush Liberal is every bit as guilty of this as Rush
> Limbaugh. My wife gets UTNE READER. Actually I remember when they were
> a tiny zine that trded with our tiny zine, 20 years ago. In skimming
> that mag now, I get exactly thee same creepy feeling that I get from
> the Dittoheads -- this insanely prideful certainty that there is this
> "cool," "right" way that's "our way" and that if some opposing facts
> have to be sidestepped in order to keep THE TRUTH uncluttered, then so
> be it. In other words, the end justifies the lies of omission because
> "WE'RE RIGHT." And that's what it's all about -- LIES OF OMISSION.
> Neither type of Rush is LYING exactly; they say little that can't be
> substantiated on some level by somebody. It's what they LEAVE OUT that
> tells the tale.

One of the most INTELLIGENT things you've ever written. Here's the
closest thing to a political statement you'll ever see me make: Take a
look at the back of your dollar bill - not at the part you always look
at, the part with the bird on it. See how it has a right wing AND a
left wing? It ALWAYS has a right wing and a left wing. It couldn't
fly with just one. But the brain and the butt are both in the middle.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: YOU PEOPLE II!!
From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Mon, May 6, 2002 11:45 AM
Message-ID: <060520021146217330%stang@subgenius.com>

In article <3CD622A4.1A4F04CF@menander.org>, dyskolos
<dyskolos@menander.org> wrote:

>
> Nickie is one of the few posters to this group I could really respect,
> for just that reason. I would work on people for days to get them
> into an hilarious spectacle of idiocy, and she'd just say one thing
> and POW!
>
> And that thing you said earlier about Munchausen's cannonball... if I
> thought you'd gotten that from something you'd read instead of that
> herkyjerky movie I'd almost begin to respect YOU. You luck out again,
> funny monkey.

I don't understand what you mean. Something I've read? Herkyjerky
movie? I read "Losing the Light." a book about Terry Gilliam & crew
making the most recent movie. I saw that movie. I read bits and pieces
of the old German stories. I saw the Nazi movie version from the 40s.
But I still don't understand what you mean.

Correctness and rightness just keep escaping me.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: YOU PEOPLE II!!
From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Mon, May 6, 2002 11:54 AM
Message-ID: <060520021155038732%stang@subgenius.com>

In article <3CD6207B.54A6FE7B@menander.org>, dyskolos
<dyskolos@menander.org> wrote:

>
> One of the most INTELLIGENT things you've ever written.

Gosh, that means ever so much to me!! Oh, thank you thank you thank you
THANK you!!

> Here's the
> closest thing to a political statement you'll ever see me make: Take a
> look at the back of your dollar bill - not at the part you always look
> at, the part with the bird on it. See how it has a right wing AND a
> left wing? It ALWAYS has a right wing and a left wing. It couldn't
> fly with just one. But the brain and the butt are both in the middle.

Wow.

((Thinks about it some more.))

WOW.

((Starts drooling with sheer enlightenment))

*!!WOW!!*

That is just deeper than all get out.

Maybe some day, if I struggle, and read the right books, and eat right
and not watch moving picture shows, and learn to think rightly, I'll
KNOW all about INTELLIGENCE.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: YOU PEOPLE II!!
From: Her Ladyship Lilith von Fraumench <lilith@ZubJenius.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Mon, May 6, 2002 8:14 PM
Message-ID: <060520021714019767%lilith@ZubJenius.com>

In article <3CD6207B.54A6FE7B@menander.org>, dyskolos
<dyskolos@menander.org> wrote:

> One of the most INTELLIGENT things you've ever written. Here's the
> closest thing to a political statement you'll ever see me make: Take a
> look at the back of your dollar bill - not at the part you always look
> at, the part with the bird on it. See how it has a right wing AND a
> left wing? It ALWAYS has a right wing and a left wing. It couldn't
> fly with just one. But the brain and the butt are both in the middle.

"Am I left wing or right wing? No, I'm definitely middle of the bird. I
figure that if there's too much left wing or right wing, you fly around
in contemporary circles." -- Pat Paulsen, *Pat Paulsen For President*

Thirty-four years too late. Figures.

Her Ladyship Lilith

--
\m/ -=8=- http://lilith.foolspress.com/ -=8=- \m/

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: YOU PEOPLE II!!
From: friday3@earthlink.net (Friday Jones)
Newsgroups: alt.slack,alt.friday
Date: Mon, May 6, 2002 10:18 PM
Message-ID: <friday3-ya02408000R0605022220350001@news.earthlink.net>

In article <Xns92065F5E4BC0CortezLegume18465086@216.166.71.239>, Legume
<none@yerbiz.com> wrote:

>Rev. Ivan Stang wrote:
>
>> Well, you didn't say "Shut Up Pink Boy" when I was saying how
>> BRILLIANT and SCINTILATINGLY WITTY you are, in the PREVIOUS "You
>> People" post, now DID ya? No, you're just a bit SELECTIVE about when
>> to spring correct dogma, mmmm HM.
>
>I reserve the right.

Can I have the left?

---

"A cult is a religion without an army."
-- nikolai

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: YOU PEOPLE II!!
From: Arbane the Terrible <arbane@attbi.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Reply-To: arbane@attbi.com
Date: Tue, May 7, 2002 12:50 AM
Message-ID: <w2JB8.60612$D%5.38340@sccrnsc01>

dyskolos wrote:

--
"Remember, the plural of 'moron' is 'focus group'."
-- James A. Wolf

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: YOU PEOPLE II!!
From: SubGenius Spice <SGSpice@safe-mail.netnoise>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Tue, May 7, 2002 11:01 AM
Message-ID: <r1rfdus5ofpbmdhvfqp7pds22i239n17s1@4ax.com>

"Rev. Ivan Stang" wanted alt.slack to know:

>Maybe some day, if I struggle, and read the right books, and eat right
>and not watch moving picture shows, and learn to think rightly, I'll
>KNOW all about INTELLIGENCE.

naw.

just eat someone's brain.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: YOU PEOPLE II!!
From: dyskolos <dyskolos@menander.org>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Thu, May 9, 2002 3:50 AM
Message-ID: <3CDA2A2F.75A39714@menander.org>

"Rev. Ivan Stang" wrote:
>
> In article <3CD8410D.1A98BD03@menander.org>, dyskolos
> <dyskolos@menander.org> wrote:
>
> > "Rev. Ivan Stang" wrote:
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > Maybe some day, if I struggle, and read the right books, and eat right
> > > and not watch moving picture shows, and learn to think rightly, I'll
> > > KNOW all about INTELLIGENCE.
> > >
> >
> > (pats little fellow on head) Yes, my friend I'm sure you will.
>
> I just posted Aerosmith doing the SpiderMan theme to a.b.s.
>
> Did I do right? Was that smart? Or dumb? Somebody else posted the
> Ramones version, and nu-monet posted the kids cartoon version from the
> old days, so, I figured it was smart.
>

You can do whatever the hell you want. It's all the same to me.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: YOU PEOPLE II!!
From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Thu, May 9, 2002 5:16 AM
Message-ID: <090520020516511336%stang@subgenius.com>

In article <3CDA2A2F.75A39714@menander.org>, dyskolos
<dyskolos@menander.org> wrote:

> "Rev. Ivan Stang" wrote:
> >
> > In article <3CD8410D.1A98BD03@menander.org>, dyskolos
> > <dyskolos@menander.org> wrote:
> >
> > > "Rev. Ivan Stang" wrote:
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > Maybe some day, if I struggle, and read the right books, and eat right
> > > > and not watch moving picture shows, and learn to think rightly, I'll
> > > > KNOW all about INTELLIGENCE.
> > > >
> > >
> > > (pats little fellow on head) Yes, my friend I'm sure you will.
> >
> > I just posted Aerosmith doing the SpiderMan theme to a.b.s.
> >
> > Did I do right? Was that smart? Or dumb? Somebody else posted the
> > Ramones version, and nu-monet posted the kids cartoon version from the
> > old days, so, I figured it was smart.
> >
>
> You can do whatever the hell you want. It's all the same to me.

Oh thank god.

Back to document index

Original file name: YOU PEOPLE II!! - converted on Monday, 21 July 2003, 13:44