Subject: Well Hell

From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Thu, Jun 13, 2002 11:14 AM

I went on vacation from my job as Sacred Scribe of the Slack religion,
right, and my accumulated email had all been erased from my ISP's
server, right, by the time I got back? So I lost 10 days worth of email
from between May 20 and May 30, right?

And this cable service is about to go under so now I'm waiting for
APK.net's DSL, right? But still on Adelphia, whose new Boards of
Directors all quit daily as soon as they're appointed, right, on
account of the near-Enron-level corporate scandal?

So I get my email today and there are 78 letters! 8 new, and 70 OLD,
from May 20 to May 22. (More than half of this is pure spam and
impotent virii, of course.) SEVENTY EMAILS from 3 weeks ago somehow
hibernated out there in the Internet and then finally came unstuck and
floated to me, late. (One was an ORDER!!)

I presume that by this same magic, in a week or so I might get another
couple days' worth of spam and letters, from 4 weeks prior.

Just fucking amazing.

The GOOD news is, I have finished a major overhaul of my computer lab,
prompted when one of my main hard drives FAILED TO APPEAR one start-up,
reminding me that I still didn't have an ORDERLY system of back-up. So,
I have been getting orderly, that is, GEEKING like FOURTEEN STERNOIDIAN
MOTHERFUCKERS!! Like a REAL geek. Where I'm cracking open PCs and
Macintoshes SIMULTANEOUSLY and running wires BETWEEN THEM
MISCEGENISTICALLY! And ferreting out the most arcane little "kraks"
and "dongle-defeaters" and so forth from dark dank Hotline stashes.
Reading technical papers about illegally devised video codecs and
transmission codes for binaries made for the express purpose of
Con-fucking. My back-up practices have become EVEN MORE PARANOID, and I
was already the most paranoid person I know of, re: backing up data in
secret stashes spread around hither and yon.

Anyway that's done, and THE STARK FIST ONLINE TEXT EDITING is done!
Thanks to TWO BEANS -- TEMUJIN -- and PHLOIGHD!! BY GOBBS, THOSE THREE
REAL MEN put their FINGERS where their MOUTHS were and actually HELPED
ME on the BORING TEDIOUS STUFF of SubSITE!

So now once again, the only roadblock to SubGenius updates of a major
project is ME! AHAHAHAHA!!! What a sense of POWER!!

THE HOUR OF SLACK lagged behind by a whole week, and with X-Day coming
up, followed, barring Dobbs' prophecy being fulfilled, by Starwood and
the DEVOtional and Akron devival, I have to make sure and do a bunch of
radio shows in advance -- way in advance.

So I have this SHOW ASSEMBLY LINE going. First I copied TONS of new
material into Muleskinner V. Then I divvied it up into categories. For
instance, the X-Day category filled two and a half shows, and the two
main shows are done and mailed out. #840 is an especially wonderful
episode due to great contributions from The Bishop and Pater Nostril
and the accumulated X-Day best-bits that have accumulated.

Next I have shows in these categories:

Post X-Day "On the Saucers" show
INDIVIVAL devival special
WAR special (w/ much Flooze collage again)
MISC. Church Intro; "BOB" versus GOD special
Amsterdam 2001 devival special (a bit late)
Internet-only Triple XXX-Rated raw and rudeness specials (at least 3
shows)

There's a lot more new KPFA Puzzling Evidence show in Hour of Slack
these days, partly because those shows are now archived on the web in
decent MP3 form. Dr. Philo Drummond is now a Show regular along with
Dr. Howll and Puzzling Evidence, and his laid back Overman presence
lends the Hour of Slack some much needed pace-enslackening.

So now I have to decide whether to work on that Online Fist and SubSITE
shit or on those Shows today. Now that all the other shit is taken care
of. Oh fuck. I still have to call that sound guy, order the CDs, fill
out those forms, mail the trademark papers I finally got, pay the
bills, talk to that guy, and that other guy, answer those LETTERS, oh
FUCK, THOSE!!

Well hell.

One thing's for sure, I'm NOT gonna fuck with ALT.SLACK no more! Today!
Probably!

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Well Hell
From: Legume <none@yerbiz.com>

Rev. Ivan Stang wrote:

> Anyway that's done, and THE STARK FIST ONLINE TEXT EDITING is done!
> Thanks to TWO BEANS -- TEMUJIN -- and PHLOIGHD!! BY GOBBS, THOSE THREE
> REAL MEN put their FINGERS where their MOUTHS were and actually HELPED
> ME on the BORING TEDIOUS STUFF of SubSITE!

Well congratulations. You managed to work hard in an attic in Cleveland
instead of hauling that purty wife o'yours out to hang with me and Chas at
Brushwood all weekend, fropping, soaking up the fine weather, eating
grilled shrimp, and listening to the bluegrass version of Third Stone from
the Sun.

Way to slack off, man! "Bob" really must be proud to own a hard-workin'
nigger like you.

----------
Me TOOL USER! FIVE-FINGER-MAN! Make weapons! Sharp arrow heads! Strong
bow! Trade to beady-eyed hunter types! Chase wives while hunter-types
gone! Make pictures on cave wall, say magic words while wearing scary
bear skull, keep whole tribe guessing!

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Well Hell
From: Her Ladyship Lilith von Fraumench <lilith@ZubJenius.com>

Legume <none@yerbiz.com> wrote:

> Well congratulations. You managed to work hard in an attic in Cleveland
> instead of hauling that purty wife o'yours out to hang with me and Chas at
> Brushwood all weekend, fropping, soaking up the fine weather, eating
> grilled shrimp, and listening to the bluegrass version of Third Stone from
> the Sun.

Spoken like a true non-geek who confuses slack with sloth. Only I'm not
buying a damn bit of it. C'mon, Legume, fess up, you secretly like to
rub your ferrules against computer manuals when nobody's looking.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Well Hell
From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>

Legume <none@yerbiz.com> wrote:

You jes be's jealous caze you's a Field SugDeema an you wishes you
could be a House SubDeema.

Massa Mojo done give you boys a who' weeken' off, did he? Mah, mah. Dat
sho is sumpin. A who' weekend. Mah, mah.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Well Hell
From: Legume <none@yerbiz.com>

Youse outta tetch, Toby. I scapes from Massa Mojo's plantation almost a
YEAR ago. I's a FREE NIGRA.

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Original file name: Well Hell - converted on Monday, 21 July 2003, 13:44