Please Consider This (War Conspiracy Thing)

In article <a1j6nr0tea@drn.newsguy.com>, HellPope Huey <hellpopehuey@subspamgeenyus.com> wrote:

> I'm either going to catch hell for posting this or catch nothing, but at
> least I can say I was sitting upright when the world ended, heh heh....

> http://serendipity.magnet.ch/wtc.html

Well, I went and looked at it and read it closely, because it is a more comprehensibly written version of other stuff I had been reading. The basic scenario actually seems to make every bit as much sense to me as the official version of it all, on all TV and radio.

The only thing new to me was the business about the remote controllability of passenger aircraft. (("DUH!!" (Stang slaps head, "DUH"!!)))

That building collapse DID seem just too graceful and poetic to be real. Even as it was happening I was wondering how the hell it could all go down so smoothly that way. Maybe it WAS jet fuel running down the girders. That still sounds so hinky. A vast conspiracy of rich fucks that can do DAMN near anything they want makes roughly equal sense.

I mean, OF COURSE there's an evil conspiracy of rich fucks. There has always been one, or several, and there will always be at least one. That's the problem. It might end up being only one. It's bearable when there's several evil conspiracies of rich fucks. ONE, that's SCEEEERY.

If you've never had a job working at country clubs and deb parties, or have otherwise never had to be among the nobility, even the lowest hem of Dame Conspiracy's gown, then you have no idea HOW scary.

But it's scary only in a distant way, like the war thing is distant. Like, "Oh, sure, someday in the far future we'll devolve into work-slugs for the Eloi Overlords, but I'm not gonna let that stop me from enjoying my new supercomputer and ice cream NOW."

The trick is to not sound crazy when you talk about it. The people who talk about it all the time almost always sound crazy, and that doesn't help. (They're doing just what They WANT them to do!) Your first duty as a good citizen of what was once The World is thus to NOT GO CRAZY. Or at least to learn to not ACT crazy. That way, when, between joshing about the game and babes over beer with Bub, you mention this routine of how smooth that building went down, and how some of the stuff you read on the web doesn't seem THAT crazy, well, Bub is just a little less likely to turn you over to the Thought Police immediately.

Later, when he himself suddenly runs up and grabs you in the parking lot as you leave work, collars you and screams in your face, "DID YOU KNOW THAT AMERI-CO IS BUILDING CONCENTRATION CAMPS BEHIND THE MALL??!? I have a SHOTGUN, we must go FREE OUR FELLOW UNEMPLOYED POT SMOKING BEER DRINKING WORKING CLASS AMERICANS OR DIE TRYING!!," he'll take you more SERIOUSLY when you say, "Don't get excited, dude, They won 200 years ago, you can't fight people who doodle crop circles for PRACTICE and can melt whole buildings with weapons in the sky beyond NORMAL HOME HOBBYIST KEN -- you're REAL lucky you still have a job on the OUTSIDE, so QUIET DOWN, eject the shells from that shotgun and STOP RUSHING HEADLONG INTO THEIR MOUSETRAP LIKE AN IDIOT!!"

And I probably shouldn't even be saying THAT. We're on the Internet, any of us could be the SubGenius Talk Show revolutionary and blab, blab blab all manner of facts and figures, but you're just preaching to a choir wearing TARGET-painted choir robes. These nameless missions are instead best done ONE OR TWO PEOPLE AT A TIME, privately. Like you-know-what! Don't ACT like a NUT around the WRONG NUTS, is all I'm saying.

And that's about the most effective thing most of us can do, from our cubicles, here in the Future. Personally, I want all the exploited mothersfuckers through human history on whose backs my wealth was built, if they begrudge me any of it, to know that I am ENJOYING and APPRECIATING THE HELL out of EVERY MINUTE of it. Compared to the vast seething anthill of billions of humans since 1 Million BC, in my plain little middle class neighborhood I am relatively as rich as ANY RENNAISSANCE KING. So the full hideous irony of the situation is not lost on me. I'm just not going to let it get me DOWN. I just GOT here a few decades ago, I am completely inncocent of, well, MOST of it.

The Conspiracy is REAL, but it's not the rich guys that run everything. The BIGGEST Conspiracy is the one that's inside every single one of God's monkeys, just as much inside you as it is in George W. Bush's boss. It's how us Third Order Chimpanzees, as the Xists might call us, got where we are. The biggest AND MEANEST chimpanzee wins. Only when we, as a race, can, like Dr. Moreau, root out that Devil Gene, and rationally remake ourselves into OverMen, bereft of that cruel chimp nature, and through scientific means force-evolve ourselves towards that ideal we call the Morlocks, or else on X-Day, only then, when the last vestige of the HUMAN has been replaced with the RECREATED YETI, THEN shall we find true Slack and freedom for all.

Heh, just kiddin', I'm not crazy or anything. All that stuff about me being paranoid is a bunch of baloney. That Chimpanzee Conspiracy thing? That was just a joke, part of the satire... you know, like the overdoses! You can't fight city hall. Death, taxes, and "Bob." No escaping it.

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Original file name: Stang rant Ple consider this - converted on Monday, 21 July 2003, 13:44