Subject: Rev Stang: on the plus side

From: "nu-monet v4.0" <nothing@succeeds.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Reply-To: like.excess@sex.org
Date: Mon, Apr 29, 2002 11:49 AM

At least it's not a hassle to you if all of your
priests, reverends, bishops, saints, cardinals,
monsignors, martyrs, monks, nuns and various &
sundry other (prolly non-paying) hangers-on and
squatters are perverts. It's not like Legume,
et al.(*) is going to quit in righteous indignation
because he catches somebody 'in flagrante ecto'
with an underage squid or something.

Except for the non-paying part. That's a hassle.

Maybe you should get a 1-900 number for the
drooling loonies to rant and rave at you for
hours on end @$5.99/minute or whatever Mme. Cleo
is charging these days. Hell, record them for
rebroadcast on HOS--set to mood music like "psycho
ex-girlfriend."

(*)et al. Et Alia (latin), "and others." I did
not want to imply that Legume "ate Alfred".

--
"That certainly made me feel normal."
--Reverend Ivan Stang

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Rev Stang: on the plus side
From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>

nu-monet v4.0
<nothing@succeeds.com> wrote:

> Maybe you should get a 1-900 number for the
> drooling loonies to rant and rave at you for
> hours on end @$5.99/minute or whatever Mme. Cleo
> is charging these days. Hell, record them for
> rebroadcast on HOS--set to mood music like "psycho
> ex-girlfriend."

That's not a bad idea actually. Papa Joe Mama once set up a
pay-per-call number where you could hear his latest funny rant of the
week. It hardly got any business at all. Perhaps if it was turned
around, so that THEY paid US to tape record their blitherings for HOURS
and HOURS on end. I would then use snippets chosen at random on the
show, and give their names, and act all outraged. This would keep them
phoning in new material and even inspire competition among the various
schizos.

MOST of the crazy ones have no money at all -- but the crazy ones who
have ANY usually inherited it, and have plenty, which is how they
managed to get by while being crazy, as well as what helped MAKE them
crazy.

I would love to have the option of going crazy from too much money.
Maybe it's not too late.

But if I want to get rich I should probably stop spending so much time
looking at this newsgroup. I'm behind on Hour of Slack again, and the
stuff for Subsite text editors is still in progress. And I need to do
these ADS. But I just can't help wanting to come back to alt.slack to
see if the latest specimens are still alive, struggling against the
pins with which we have afixed their wings to the slide under our
microscope. Or if they have finally given up the ghost in exasperation.

What weirds me out is the way they flutter right to the slide, lay down
on it and act like they're waiting for the pins. THAT is fucking
creepy. The way they thrash around once we pin 'em, now that part's
funny.

To the bugs, it probably seems as if we are ganging up on them as one
unit, organized, when actually it's completely spontaneous on the part
of each individual torturer.

On the other hand, each of us too is pinned to a slide -- JHVH-One's
slide called EARTH.

According to J'lahn, we are on the FBI's slide, and they closely
monitor the activities of the SubGenius cult. Which is a fairly amusing
job; that's what *I* do too.

Actually the only thing we have to fear from the FBI is that they'll
cut off our FUNDING.

Speaking of which, I better get to work. Must shorten Susie the Floozy
radio show # 407 to 60 minutes to fill in for Hour of Slack 835...
"cutting" myself some "Slack" so to speak.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Rev Stang: on the plus side
From: Her Ladyship Lilith von Fraumench <lilith@ZubJenius.com>

nu-monet v4.0
<nothing@succeeds.com> wrote:

> It's not like Legume,
> et al.(*) is going to quit in righteous indignation
> because he catches somebody 'in flagrante ecto'
> with an underage squid or something.

An UNDERAGE squid?!? EUW!!! Their ink glands aren't even mature yet!

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Original file name: Rev Stang- on the plus side - converted on Monday, 21 July 2003, 13:44