Kook Bashing

From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Mon, Jan 7, 2002 10:42 AM
Message-ID: <070120021042140572%stang@subgenius.com>

In article <nt7f3ukdotlemgu0qc5cfatmq5q900t5fc@4ax.com>, Kevan
<cuthulu@shreve.net> wrote:

> On Sat, 05 Jan 2002 13:02:18 -0500, "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>
> from
> http://extra.newsguy.com wrote:
>
> >Maybe he was getting jealous of the attention that K'vahn wasn't
> >getting.
>
> Wow! I didn't have to choose my own SubGenius fake name thingy! Stang GAVE me
> one! Wheee!
>
> For all of you who admire Stang for his writing, remember that here he stooped
> to the kindergarten level for an insult. Yes, he chose the easiest way
> possible
> -- he made fun of a person's name! Man, that must have taken one MIGHT force
> of
> intellect.

No, Kevan, I was using J'lahn's name and mental illness to make fun of
your MENTAL ILLNESS, not of your NAME.

I am very sorry that you misunderstood my point, but I guess that sort
of goes with the territory.

See, it's like this. That J'lahn guy is unquestionably mentally ill,
whereas it takes three or four of your posts before a person catches on
that YOU are very much like him. The spelling of your name was merely a
device used to point out that similarlity. Now that I have explainmed
it logically, do you see the humor of it? If not, then you may
certainly feel free to mount up upon yourself.

>
> I'm not averse to swimming in the mud, stooping to that low level:
>
> I'vahn Stang
> Ivan Stank
> I Been Stinked
> I Vent String

Aside from the first one, which you lifted from me, and the last one,
which is yours alone, the other two have all been done a million times,
probably by me first.

>
> *yawn*
>
> Tell us again, Stink, just what's so interesting about your "joke religion?"
>

!!! Nobody else was supposed to know about the OTHER religion besides
Philo and Dobbs!!

WHICH ONE TOLD????

(Watch this one fly over his head too.)

If you mean the Church of the SubGenius, well, one of the things that
make it interesting is the way guys like you react to it. I believe
that your first words to me, when you made your pilgrimage to my house
in Dallas, were something along the line of, "I WILL DO ANYTHING THAT
YOU TELL ME TO. I WILL DO *ANYTHING* FOR THE CHURCH OF THE SUBGENIUS."

Which is one reason why I paid so little attention to you over the
years. You really WANTED to be a Bobbie. That kind of thing has always
given me the creeps. You have proved my inuitions correct in this
particular case. You never DID "get it."

Folks, KEVAN is an example of what happens to people who believe all
the wrong lies in the Church of the SubGenius. First they want to suck
"Bob's" dick, then they narrow it down to MY dick, then, when I won't
let them blow me, or even help with the sweeping, they finally give up
and decide I was trying to take advantage of them -- above and beyond
their $30, I mean -- and FINALLY they get all pissy and prissy like
this poor little crazy-boy, and start telling everyone that will
pretend to listen the "REAL TRUTH," you see. Ahem.

THIS is what we shield "Bob" from. We don't want Kevan to tell him the
REAL TRUTH.

--
4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected
P.O. Box 181417, Cleveland, OH 44118 (fax 216-320-9528)
A subsidiary of:
The SubGenius Foundation, Inc. / P.O. Box 140306, Dallas, TX 75214
SubSITE: http://www.subgenius.com PRABOB
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: SPUTUM, and any other net wizards, Chas Smith of ESO needs your help.
From: nu-monet <nothing@succeeds.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Reply-To: like.excess@sex.org
Date: Mon, Jan 7, 2002 11:20 AM
Message-ID: <3C39CAE3.763F@succeeds.com>

Rev. Ivan Stang wrote:
>
> ...If you mean the Church of the SubGenius, well,
> one of the things that make it interesting is the
> way guys like you react to it...

Now there's a book in there, somewhere.

"First Impressions: What people did on their first
meeting with Reverend Ivan Stang"

(For the record, my recollection at our first meeting
was that, if there are three of them, the *real* Rev
Stang is the one in the middle, and why is the floor
so damned wobbly?)

--
%

There is no nu-monet there is only Zuul.

In a year holding a three, or seven,
or five, or nine, or maybe not,
Two things, might be people, or armies,
or buildings,
Or anything really, blades of grass,
or stoats, or crapulous charlatans
spouting mimsy,
Might do something nebulous.
Insert made-up-bit here.

--Generic Nostradamus Quatrain from
"The Guardian"

$ $ $ $ $ $ --------------------------------
$ $ $ $ $ ------------S H O W-------------
$ $ $ $ $ $ --------------------------------
$ $ $ $ $ ------------Y O U R-------------
$ $ $ $ $ $ --------------------------------
$ $ $ $ $ -------P A T R I O T I S M------
$ $ $ $ $ $ --------------------------------
$ $ $ $ $ -------------B U Y--------------
$ $ $ $ $ $ --------------------------------
-------------------S U B G E N I U S--------
--------------------------------------------
-----------------------T O D A Y !----------
--------------------------------------------
http://www.subgenius.com/scatalog.html --

%
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: SPUTUM, and any other net wizards, Chas Smith of ESO needs your help.
From: "Chas. 'Mark' Bee" <c-bee1@uiuc.edu>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Mon, Jan 7, 2002 3:02 PM
Message-ID: <3C39FECE.650041F9@uiuc.edu>

nu-monet wrote:
>
>
> (For the record, my recollection at our first meeting
> was that, if there are three of them, the *real* Rev
> Stang is the one in the middle, and why is the floor
> so damned wobbly?)

Obviously a victim of some sort of inimical psychic shell game.
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: SPUTUM, and any other net wizards, Chas Smith of ESO needs your help.
From: Kevan <cuthulu@shreve.net>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Mon, Jan 7, 2002 5:06 PM
Message-ID: <ss6k3u4m68lhnp7utgoupteo7vbi0u9qu7@4ax.com>

On Mon, 07 Jan 2002 10:42:14 -0500, "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com> from
http://extra.newsguy.com wrote:

>No, Kevan, I was using J'lahn's name and mental illness to make fun of
>your MENTAL ILLNESS, not of your NAME.
>
>I am very sorry that you misunderstood my point, but I guess that sort
>of goes with the territory.
>
>See, it's like this. That J'lahn guy is unquestionably mentally ill,
>whereas it takes three or four of your posts before a person catches on
>that YOU are very much like him. The spelling of your name was merely a
>device used to point out that similarlity. Now that I have explainmed
>it logically, do you see the humor of it? If not, then you may
>certainly feel free to mount up upon yourself.

You sure can put a lot of supposed "meaning" into changing two letters and
adding an apostrophe to my name. Sorry, it's still just a lame kindergarten
attempt at humor. Would you like to make fun of how I spell my email address,
too? That's the next lower level.

--
"hahahahaha ... that's it ... that tickles elmo the most!"
http://home.sport.rr.com/cuthulu/ human rights = peace
http://member.newsguy.com/~cuthulu/ alt.slack archive
Hello? Enema Bondage? I'm calling because I want to be happy, I guess
... 4:05:46 PM 7 January 2002
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: SPUTUM, and any other net wizards, Chas Smith of ESO needs your help.
From: Kevan <cuthulu@shreve.net>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Mon, Jan 7, 2002 5:13 PM
Message-ID: <e97k3uspvl3e37h5gps1sc98cnar5e7gcb@4ax.com>

On Mon, 07 Jan 2002 10:42:14 -0500, "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com> from
http://extra.newsguy.com wrote:

>If you mean the Church of the SubGenius, well, one of the things that
>make it interesting is the way guys like you react to it. I believe
>that your first words to me, when you made your pilgrimage to my house
>in Dallas, were something along the line of, "I WILL DO ANYTHING THAT
>YOU TELL ME TO. I WILL DO *ANYTHING* FOR THE CHURCH OF THE SUBGENIUS."

Nope, nothing of the sort. But, you're an old delusional pot-smoker, so I
understand how your memory gets screwed up.
--
"hahahahaha ... that's it ... that tickles elmo the most!"
http://home.sport.rr.com/cuthulu/ human rights = peace
http://member.newsguy.com/~cuthulu/ alt.slack archive
Look! A ladder! Maybe it leads to heaven, or a sandwich! 4:12:46 PM 7 January 2002
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: SPUTUM, and any other net wizards, Chas Smith of ESO needs your help.
From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Tue, Jan 8, 2002 3:20 AM
Message-ID: <080120020320004250%stang@subgenius.com>

In article <e97k3uspvl3e37h5gps1sc98cnar5e7gcb@4ax.com>, Kevan
<cuthulu@shreve.net> wrote:

> On Mon, 07 Jan 2002 10:42:14 -0500, "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>
> from
> http://extra.newsguy.com wrote:
>
> >If you mean the Church of the SubGenius, well, one of the things that
> >make it interesting is the way guys like you react to it. I believe
> >that your first words to me, when you made your pilgrimage to my house
> >in Dallas, were something along the line of, "I WILL DO ANYTHING THAT
> >YOU TELL ME TO. I WILL DO *ANYTHING* FOR THE CHURCH OF THE SUBGENIUS."
>
> Nope, nothing of the sort. But, you're an old delusional pot-smoker, so I
> understand how your memory gets screwed up.

"OLD"?? What do you mean, "OLD"??

Subject: Re: SPUTUM, and any other net wizards, Chas Smith of ESO needs your help.
From: Kevan <cuthulu@shreve.net>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Tue, Jan 8, 2002 3:38 AM
Message-ID: <cvbl3u065rprdurrafeljl2mcddm3n0otk@4ax.com>

On Tue, 08 Jan 2002 03:20:00 -0500, "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com> from
http://extra.newsguy.com wrote:

>In article <e97k3uspvl3e37h5gps1sc98cnar5e7gcb@4ax.com>, Kevan
><cuthulu@shreve.net> wrote:
>
>> On Mon, 07 Jan 2002 10:42:14 -0500, "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>
>> from
>> http://extra.newsguy.com wrote:
>>
>> >If you mean the Church of the SubGenius, well, one of the things that
>> >make it interesting is the way guys like you react to it. I believe
>> >that your first words to me, when you made your pilgrimage to my house
>> >in Dallas, were something along the line of, "I WILL DO ANYTHING THAT
>> >YOU TELL ME TO. I WILL DO *ANYTHING* FOR THE CHURCH OF THE SUBGENIUS."
>>
>> Nope, nothing of the sort. But, you're an old delusional pot-smoker, so I
>> understand how your memory gets screwed up.
>
>
>"OLD"?? What do you mean, "OLD"??

I used to mean over thirty. Now I mean over forty.

Subject: Re: SPUTUM, and any other net wizards, Chas Smith of ESO needs your help.
From: fun@thingy.apana.org.au (David Gerard)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Tue, Jan 8, 2002 7:52 AM
Message-ID: <slrna3ltfc.b6.fun@aspc083.longword.dyndns.org>

On Mon, 07 Jan 2002 16:20:52 GMT,
nu-monet <nothing@succeeds.com> wrote:

:Now there's a book in there, somewhere.
:"First Impressions: What people did on their first
:meeting with Reverend Ivan Stang"

I got an email from him and went "Hey, wow, I got an email from Ivan
Stang." I'd written with a change of address or something and he wrote back
to confirm. I don't think I still have the email, though.

--
http://thingy.apana.org.au/~fun/ http://www.rocknerd.org/
"I have encountered kids brought up in a fundamentalist Discordian household,
and it's not pleasant." (Ian Sturrock)
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: SPUTUM, and any other net wizards, Chas Smith of ESO needs your help.
From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Tue, Jan 8, 2002 11:05 AM
Message-ID: <080120021105024842%stang@subgenius.com>

In article <slrna3ltfc.b6.fun@aspc083.longword.dyndns.org>, David
Gerard <fun@thingy.apana.org.au> wrote:

> On Mon, 07 Jan 2002 16:20:52 GMT,
> nu-monet <nothing@succeeds.com> wrote:
>
> :Now there's a book in there, somewhere.
> :"First Impressions: What people did on their first
> :meeting with Reverend Ivan Stang"
>
>
> I got an email from him and went "Hey, wow, I got an email from Ivan
> Stang." I'd written with a change of address or something and he wrote back
> to confirm. I don't think I still have the email, though.

No, no, you misread my email. I was writing back to tell you to
CONFORM. But you disobeyed.

And that's how you passed Test #5 without EVEN KNOWING IT!

Subject: Re: SPUTUM, and any other net wizards, Chas Smith of ESO needs your help.
From: "Chas. M. Bee" <c-bee1@ux1.cso.uiuc.edu>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Reply-To: c-bee1@uiuc.edu
Date: Tue, Jan 8, 2002 1:34 PM
Message-ID: <3C3B3B94.2698BC7C@ux1.cso.uiuc.edu>

Kevan wrote:
>
> On Mon, 07 Jan 2002 10:42:14 -0500, "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com> from
> http://extra.newsguy.com wrote:
>
> >If you mean the Church of the SubGenius, well, one of the things that
> >make it interesting is the way guys like you react to it. I believe
> >that your first words to me, when you made your pilgrimage to my house
> >in Dallas, were something along the line of, "I WILL DO ANYTHING THAT
> >YOU TELL ME TO. I WILL DO *ANYTHING* FOR THE CHURCH OF THE SUBGENIUS."
>
> Nope, nothing of the sort. But, you're an old delusional pot-smoker, so I
> understand how your memory gets screwed up.

I dunno; it's pretty obvious that you'll now do anything to annoy us
- sounds like two sides of the exact same coin to me!
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: SPUTUM, and any other net wizards, Chas Smith of ESO needs your help.
From: "Chas. M. Bee" <c-bee1@ux1.cso.uiuc.edu>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Reply-To: c-bee1@uiuc.edu
Date: Tue, Jan 8, 2002 1:31 PM
Message-ID: <3C3B3B0E.1D1BCFC6@ux1.cso.uiuc.edu>

Kevan wrote:
>
> On Mon, 07 Jan 2002 10:42:14 -0500, "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com> from
> http://extra.newsguy.com wrote:
>
> >No, Kevan, I was using J'lahn's name and mental illness to make fun of
> >your MENTAL ILLNESS, not of your NAME.
> >
> >I am very sorry that you misunderstood my point, but I guess that sort
> >of goes with the territory.
> >
> >See, it's like this. That J'lahn guy is unquestionably mentally ill,
> >whereas it takes three or four of your posts before a person catches on
> >that YOU are very much like him. The spelling of your name was merely a
> >device used to point out that similarlity. Now that I have explainmed
> >it logically, do you see the humor of it? If not, then you may
> >certainly feel free to mount up upon yourself.
>
> You sure can put a lot of supposed "meaning" into changing two letters and
> adding an apostrophe to my name. Sorry, it's still just a lame kindergarten
> attempt at humor. Would you like to make fun of how I spell my email address,
> too? That's the next lower level.

So how much further down is continuing to use it?
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: SPUTUM, and any other net wizards, Chas Smith of ESO needs your help.
From: Lou Scannon <scannon@lmountain.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Reply-To: 66635@sfhitl6ips.com
Date: Tue, Jan 8, 2002 3:29 PM
Message-ID: <20mm3uk9875ddaofn4r8db4tic4p0cav0o@4ax.com>

On Tue, 08 Jan 2002 12:34:00 -0600, "Chas. M. Bee"
<c-bee1@ux1.cso.uiuc.edu> wrote:

>
>
>Kevan wrote:
>>
>> On Mon, 07 Jan 2002 10:42:14 -0500, "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com> from
>> http://extra.newsguy.com wrote:
>>
>> >If you mean the Church of the SubGenius, well, one of the things that
>> >make it interesting is the way guys like you react to it. I believe
>> >that your first words to me, when you made your pilgrimage to my house
>> >in Dallas, were something along the line of, "I WILL DO ANYTHING THAT
>> >YOU TELL ME TO. I WILL DO *ANYTHING* FOR THE CHURCH OF THE SUBGENIUS."
>>
>> Nope, nothing of the sort. But, you're an old delusional pot-smoker, so I
>> understand how your memory gets screwed up.
>
> I dunno; it's pretty obvious that you'll now do anything to annoy us
>- sounds like two sides of the exact same coin to me!
Sounds like K*&%$'s desperate plea for attention is ramping up, if he
had any self pride or dignity he'd just leave, but, we all know that
won't happen.
kill-filters rule.
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: SPUTUM, and any other net wizards, Chas Smith of ESO needs your help.
From: kconvery@ioma.com (The Bishop)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Tue, Jan 8, 2002 4:56 PM
Message-ID: <f9a02c0.0201081356.485a80dc@posting.google.com>

"Chas. M. Bee" <c-bee1@ux1.cso.uiuc.edu> wrote in message news:<3C3B3B94.2698BC7C@ux1.cso.uiuc.edu>...
> Kevan wrote:
> >
> > On Mon, 07 Jan 2002 10:42:14 -0500, "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com> from
> > http://extra.newsguy.com wrote:
> >
> > >If you mean the Church of the SubGenius, well, one of the things that
> > >make it interesting is the way guys like you react to it. I believe
> > >that your first words to me, when you made your pilgrimage to my house
> > >in Dallas, were something along the line of, "I WILL DO ANYTHING THAT
> > >YOU TELL ME TO. I WILL DO *ANYTHING* FOR THE CHURCH OF THE SUBGENIUS."
> >
> > Nope, nothing of the sort. But, you're an old delusional pot-smoker, so I
> > understand how your memory gets screwed up.
>
Thanks for understanding. Now what's YOUR excuse? A lot more than
your memory is screwed up.
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: SPUTUM, and any other net wizards, Chas Smith of ESO needs your help.
From: "Chas. 'Mark' Bee" <c-bee1@uiuc.edu>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Tue, Jan 8, 2002 6:04 PM
Message-ID: <3C3B7AEE.85B4DFA9@uiuc.edu>

The Bishop wrote:
>
> "Chas. M. Bee" <c-bee1@ux1.cso.uiuc.edu> wrote in message news:<3C3B3B94.2698BC7C@ux1.cso.uiuc.edu>...
> > Kevan wrote:
> > >
> > > On Mon, 07 Jan 2002 10:42:14 -0500, "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com> from
> > > http://extra.newsguy.com wrote:
> > >
> > > >If you mean the Church of the SubGenius, well, one of the things that
> > > >make it interesting is the way guys like you react to it. I believe
> > > >that your first words to me, when you made your pilgrimage to my house
> > > >in Dallas, were something along the line of, "I WILL DO ANYTHING THAT
> > > >YOU TELL ME TO. I WILL DO *ANYTHING* FOR THE CHURCH OF THE SUBGENIUS."
> > >
> > > Nope, nothing of the sort. But, you're an old delusional pot-smoker, so I
> > > understand how your memory gets screwed up.
> >
> Thanks for understanding. Now what's YOUR excuse? A lot more than
> your memory is screwed up.

Er, you trimmed my response and ended with what I was responding
to... =)
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: SPUTUM, and any other net wizards, Chas Smith of ESO needs your help.
From: Kevan <cuthulu@shreve.net>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Tue, Jan 8, 2002 6:51 PM
Message-ID: <7g1n3ug9lhdr18obt8tjil507oumadbh0b@4ax.com>

On Tue, 08 Jan 2002 12:31:45 -0600, "Chas. M. Bee" <c-bee1@ux1.cso.uiuc.edu>
from University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign wrote:

>
> So how much further down is continuing to use it?

I'm sorry -- were you trying to be coherent?

--
"hahahahaha ... that's it ... that tickles elmo the most!"
http://home.sport.rr.com/cuthulu/ human rights = peace
http://member.newsguy.com/~cuthulu/ alt.slack archive
a wallpaper jumps throughout a plastic bike 5:51:25 PM 8 January 2002
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: SPUTUM, and any other net wizards, Chas Smith of ESO needs your help.
From: Kevan <cuthulu@shreve.net>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Tue, Jan 8, 2002 6:54 PM
Message-ID: <jh1n3ucff9g0v3s96qu44co734hvgmmciu@4ax.com>

On Tue, 08 Jan 2002 12:34:00 -0600, "Chas. M. Bee" <c-bee1@ux1.cso.uiuc.edu>
from University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign wrote:

>Yadda YADDA Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda YADDA Yadda YADDA
>Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda
>Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda
>Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda YADDA Yadda Yadda YADDA
>Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda YADDA Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda
>Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda
>YADDA Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda YADDA Yadda Yadda
>Yadda YADDA Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda
>Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda YADDA Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda
>Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda YADDA Yadda Yadda
>Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda YADDA Yadda Yadda Yadda YADDA YADDA
>YADDA Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda YADDA
>Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda YADDA Yadda
>Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda
>YADDA Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda
>Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda
>Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda
>Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda
>Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda
>Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda YADDA!

Mmmm Hmmmm.

Yes.

Really, now?

You don't say?

Well, I'm glad we got that cleared up.

--
"hahahahaha ... that's it ... that tickles elmo the most!"
http://home.sport.rr.com/cuthulu/ human rights = peace
http://member.newsguy.com/~cuthulu/ alt.slack archive
My uncle Murray conquered Egypt in 53 B.C. And I can prove it too!! 5:54:25 PM 8 January 2002
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: SPUTUM, and any other net wizards, Chas Smith of ESO needs your help.
From: Kevan <cuthulu@shreve.net>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Tue, Jan 8, 2002 6:57 PM
Message-ID: <co1n3ugtspkjjmrsd79ajqh52udv515jlt@4ax.com>

On 8 Jan 2002 13:56:26 -0800, kconvery@ioma.com (The Bishop) from
http://groups.google.com/ wrote:

> Thanks for understanding. Now what's YOUR excuse? A lot more than
>your memory is screwed up.

Nothing about me is screwed up. I am perfect in every way. I am so far superior
to you, that to me, you are a mere mindless ant. I am your natural leader. You
admire me from afar and emulate me in your daily life. Nothing you do or say is
not influenced by something that I have done and said. Kneel. Worship. Adore. It
is right.

--
"hahahahaha ... that's it ... that tickles elmo the most!"
http://home.sport.rr.com/cuthulu/ human rights = peace
http://member.newsguy.com/~cuthulu/ alt.slack archive
ONE: I will donate my entire "BABY HUEY" comic book collection
to the downtown PLASMA CENTER ...TWO: I won't START a BAND called
"KHADAFY & THE HIT SQUAD" ...THREE: I won't ever TUMBLE DRY my FOX
TERRIER again!! 5:57:25 PM 8 January 2002
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: SPUTUM, and any other net wizards, Chas Smith of ESO needs your help.
From: Kevan <cuthulu@shreve.net>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Tue, Jan 8, 2002 7:00 PM
Message-ID: <hr1n3u8ug620o6k45mvp9akjf59eirberj@4ax.com>

On Tue, 08 Jan 2002 20:29:26 GMT, Lou Scannon <scannon@lmountain.com> from full
metal wrote:

>Sounds like K*&%$'s desperate plea for attention is ramping up, if he
>had any self pride or dignity he'd just leave, but, we all know that
>won't happen.

It's very funny that I can now post anything I want and it's somehow a
"desperate cry for attention." Sorry to deflate your theory, but nothing is
further from the truth. People like you aren't worthy of my attention, so I
don't post to get yours. It's only fair, no?

--
"hahahahaha ... that's it ... that tickles elmo the most!"
http://home.sport.rr.com/cuthulu/ human rights = peace
http://member.newsguy.com/~cuthulu/ alt.slack archive
an evil clock abruptly takes after an ancient glass elephant... 5:59:25 PM 8 January 2002
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: SPUTUM, and any other net wizards, Chas Smith of ESO needs your help.
From: HellPope Huey <hellpopehuey@subspamgeenyus.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Tue, Jan 8, 2002 8:11 PM
Message-ID: <a1g5bt031f7@drn.newsguy.com>

You know....lately, EVERY damned group I just casually read for info or
amusement and not just the few to which I like to post is being set upon and
boll-weeviled by at least ONE sniping, cantankerous, insult-fueled little fuck,
often 3 or 4. They have little to nothing to really say except how fucked "YOU"
are. Its like they're all catching some mutant bill palmer wannabee virus.

Is it Smarmageddon speeding up?
Are they going bonkers 'cause their willies are drying up?
Is it an astrological syzygy, exerting some mutating hell-field?
Maybe all the ASSholes in the world are inexplicably moving into harmony?

The calmer I get, the more direct and polite I am, the more flatly factual the
manner in which I respond, the more I apologize for a possible misunderstanding
based on a slip of placement or structure (here & there, not as a spineless
habit, NO!), the more I try to brush it off with some humor and the LESS I blow
back on their same terms, the more rabidly they foam. They REALLY blow if you
ask 'em why they never post anything BUT tripe and snipes. Makes the GOOD
posters REALLY shine, too!

I mean, I KNOW some of it is because they can't compete with the better posters
and it bugs 'em to realize they're so low on the pecker-peckin' order. And
despite it being expected on alt.bitterness or
alt.flame.look-how-hopeless-I-really-am, its a bit odd to see so much MORE of it
on alt.slack than our usual "normal" level, which WAS pretty high to begin with,
admittedly and so am I, YEE-HAAWW! After all, if you deleted all the k*v** cat
poops and puddles of palmerpee, the scrolling time would be WAY shorter.

Any particular ideas on it, you sainted fuckers, aside from the bitter truth of
their seemingly chicken-chested intellects and stupidly sour takes that would
make a dog implode from the anus inwards? (Eyeeww, its Clive Barker time!)

Depraved minds SORTA wanna know. Sorry, slow night, even though I AM as pleased
as peyote punch to have found a nice Suave massage oil that's a whole TWO
TWENTY-FIVE cheaper than the health food store stuff I've BEEN buying, PRAISE
"Bob!" UNH unh unh unh...stroke, stroke, stroke....sometimes alone, sometimes
not, but dig that smoooooth skin, Mmmm! On both heads.

HellPope Huey, hellpopehuey@subgenius.com
Yeah, but its a GOOD kinda sore!

"You are descended from the Great One!!!"
"Jackie Gleason?"
- "Night Court"

"I want to die in my own lands,
where Human Beings are buried in the sky."
- "Little Big Man"

We'll dance in the silvery light of the Moon
We could be drinking the light of the Moon
- Steve Vai, "Alive
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: SPUTUM, and any other net wizards, Chas Smith of ESO needs your help.
From: Kevan <cuthulu@shreve.net>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Tue, Jan 8, 2002 8:44 PM
Message-ID: <ur7n3ugpkclj9oaq8qsreobkcrepu76f2p@4ax.com>

On 8 Jan 2002 17:11:25 -0800, HellPope Huey <hellpopehuey@subspamgeenyus.com>
from Nuts For A Democratic Mars wrote:

>Any particular ideas on it, you sainted fuckers, aside from the bitter truth of
>their seemingly chicken-chested intellects and stupidly sour takes that would
>make a dog implode from the anus inwards? (Eyeeww, its Clive Barker time!)

I think you should learn how to use your delete key, or learn how to "navigate"
an article list. When I read alt.slack, I look first at who has posted. I read
my favorites first. The I just poke around in interesting subjects. Then I read
the rest. Just because you subscribe doesn't mean you have to read everything,
though. Ultimately, alt.slack is what you make of it, not what anyone posts;
because, you can always killfile everybody. And, if I annoy you so much, then I
urge you to please killfile me just so you'll shut up about it.

--
"hahahahaha ... that's it ... that tickles elmo the most!"
http://home.sport.rr.com/cuthulu/ human rights = peace
http://member.newsguy.com/~cuthulu/ alt.slack archive
Here I am in the POSTERIOR OLFACTORY LOBULE but I don't see CARL SAGAN
anywhere!! 7:43:26 PM 8 January 2002
----------------------------------------------------------------------

HellPope Huey, hellpopehuey@subgenius.com
Yeah, but its a GOOD kinda sore!

"You are descended from the Great One!!!"
"Jackie Gleason?"
- "Night Court"

"I want to die in my own lands,
where Human Beings are buried in the sky."
- "Little Big Man"

We'll dance in the silvery light of the Moon
We could be drinking the light of the Moon
- Steve Vai, "Alive
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: SPUTUM, and any other net wizards, Chas Smith of ESO needs your help.
From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Wed, Jan 9, 2002 11:47 AM
Message-ID: <090120021147151280%stang@subgenius.com>

[[ This message was both posted and mailed: see
the "To," "Cc," and "Newsgroups" headers for details. ]]

In article <a1g5bt031f7@drn.newsguy.com>, HellPope Huey
<hellpopehuey@subspamgeenyus.com> wrote:

>
> Is it Smarmageddon speeding up?
> Are they going bonkers 'cause their willies are drying up?
> Is it an astrological syzygy, exerting some mutating hell-field?
> Maybe all the ASSholes in the world are inexplicably moving into harmony?
>
....

>
> I mean, I KNOW some of it is because they can't compete with the better
> posters
> and it bugs 'em to realize they're so low on the pecker-peckin' order. And
> despite it being expected on alt.bitterness or
> alt.flame.look-how-hopeless-I-really-am, its a bit odd to see so much MORE of
> it
> on alt.slack than our usual "normal" level, which WAS pretty high to begin
> with,
> admittedly and so am I, YEE-HAAWW! After all, if you deleted all the k*v**
> cat
> poops and puddles of palmerpee, the scrolling time would be WAY shorter.
>
> Any particular ideas on it, you sainted fuckers, aside from the bitter truth
> of
> their seemingly chicken-chested intellects and stupidly sour takes that would
> make a dog implode from the anus inwards? (Eyeeww, its Clive Barker time!)
>

The war thing might have something to do with it. Immediately after
9-11 I noticed a marked increase in what I consider "kook mail" sent
directly to me, and they seemed to emerge from the alt.slack woodwork
in full force too.

Even those who are normally the veritable ANCHORS of sanity, the
islands in the storm, the calm and ever reasonable scholars such as,
oh, YOU and ME, for instance, we also got all agitated. The whole ant
bed was stirred up and even people who had developed THICK WALLS of
PURE WEIRDNESS around themselves were badly affected by the Panic Vibe.

Luckily the True SubGenii have been DRILLING in End of the World Panic
for 5 years now. But then there are the Mal-aligned Normals, the
barnacles on the Good Ship Dobbs who are attracted to the heat in our
kitckens like peaches to a tree, shaking and burnt, who keep fluttering
fitfully into and out of the candle light instead of just DIVING IN and
LETTING DOBBS SMOKE THEM.

These "halfway SubGenii," diseased Normals and Outcast Pinks not only
didn't successfully CLIMB ABOVE the End of the World Panic, they took
it as a CONFIRMATION of their particular delusions. Now, we all relax
in the safety of our own delusions. But we certainly don't expect or
WANT anyone else relaxing in our own delusions WITH us. EEEEUCH!!! The
"Bent Ken Doll" or "Weird Normal," on the other hand, now thinks the
whole world wants to join in on THEIR delusion... and WELCOMES it!
Everybody else is acting nutty too, right? So they aren't doing as much
cowering and skulking, but more glowering and stalking.

I wish I could share some of the nuttier email I get with this
newsgroup, but THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT THEY WANT, and the best way to
handle 'em is to starve 'em out -- i.e., don't argue with 'em, don't
taunt 'em... keep the arguing and taunting among friends. I wouldn't
waste my ranting on some mentally ill vampire when I should direct at a
GOOD PAL and CONTRIBUTING ARTEEST, such as YOU, Hellpope Huey!

(Also, sharing somebody's heartfelt private kook mail with the
Internet, as if you thought they were a COMMON KOOK, is a good way to
get oneself SHOT.)

But sometimes a Repeat Dip posts something SO... UNBELIEVABLY...
PERFECTLY... RETARDED, that you just HAVE to forget policy and just BE
NASTY BACK at 'em... if you think the bystanders will think it's funny,
that is. Thinking you can get through to the Bitternians themselves is
folly.

So anyway, put yourself in the weird religious nut's shoes: ya got yer
"WAR," ya got your "ELECTION," ya got your MILLENIUM, ya got your FUNNY
WEATHER and yer NOT SO FUNNY DISEASES, ya got yer PERSONALITY DISORDER,
ya got yer NO FRIENDS, ya got yer pent up cabin fever Lee Harvey
McVeigh righteousness gland stoked, ya got yer intense fantasies, and
ya got yer BOOK OF THE SUBGENIUS and Internet access to alt.slack,
where those people are FRAUDS who never took seriously that book of
HIDDEN TRUTHs... and not a one of them turned out to be intelligent
enough to recognize your obvious mystic seerhood, in fact, they kind of
seemed to be AVOIDING you... especially Stang, that Neanderthal...
HMMM, WHAT TO DO?

Subject: Re: SPUTUM, and any other net wizards, Chas Smith of ESO needs your help.
From: HellPope Huey <hellpopehuey@subspamgeenyus.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Wed, Jan 9, 2002 11:36 PM
Message-ID: <a1j5o50qer@drn.newsguy.com>

In article <090120021147151280%stang@subgenius.com>, "Rev. says...
>>In article <a1g5bt031f7@drn.newsguy.com>, HellPope Huey
><hellpopehuey@subspamgeenyus.com> wrote:
>
>>> Is it Smarmageddon speeding up?
>> Are they going bonkers 'cause their willies are drying up?
>> Is it an astrological syzygy, exerting some mutating hell-field?
>> Maybe all the ASSholes in the world are inexplicably moving into harmony?
>> >....
> >> I mean, I KNOW some of it is because they can't compete with the better
>> posters and it bugs 'em to realize they're so low on the pecker-peckin'
order. And despite it being expected on alt.bitterness or
>> alt.flame.look-how-hopeless-I-really-am, its a bit odd to see so much MORE of
>> it on alt.slack than our usual "normal" level, which WAS pretty high to begin
>> with, admittedly and so am I, YEE-HAAWW! After all, if you deleted all the
k*v** cat poops and puddles of palmerpee, the scrolling time would be WAY
shorter.

And then I urped up:

>>>Even those who are normally the veritable ANCHORS of sanity, the
islands in the storm, the calm and ever reasonable scholars such as,
oh, YOU and ME, for instance,

If we're the standard for sanity, Heckle & Jeckle and Carrot Top are the Holy
Trinity.

>>>we also got all agitated. The whole ant
bed was stirred up and even people who had developed THICK WALLS of
PURE WEIRDNESS around themselves were badly affected by the Panic Vibe.

I feel far more disturbed by the implications of realizing that jet fuel burns
WAY below the level of structural steel, which melts at a bit over 1500oC, so
does the math of a full load of fuel sprayed widely and X zillion tons of tower
to destroy work out...? 1, 2, 3, 4, how many whoppers can you swallow...?
My my, how DID those big ol' steel-&-structural-grade-concrete structures come
down completely, as if they'd been rigged for demolition? Not a good sign,
Homer. Maybe "Someone" "helped" them along in a James-Bondian bid to politically
and economically prepare the way for control of a huge oil field near the
burdgeoning next biggest market on Earth, at the cost of several thousand lives
& a back-flipped economy, plus the bonus of an excuse to develop a profitable
near-police-state? Helped along by a population of naive saps? Oh, surely not.
We're GOOD and THEY are EVIL, right? And when DO the winged monkeys bring us our
peppermint schnappes smoothies? Or even just some Slurm, that refreshing
beverage so sweet, one sip makes your teeth ache for weeks?

>>>>I wouldn't
waste my ranting on some mentally ill vampire when I should direct at a
GOOD PAL and CONTRIBUTING ARTEEST, such as YOU, Hellpope Huey!

Does that rant come with a space cake and an Esquivel CD, PRAISE Esquivel?
I need those REAL BAD about now.

>>>sharing somebody's heartfelt private kook mail with the
Internet, as if you thought they were a COMMON KOOK, is a good way to
get oneself SHOT.

Which is part of where I got these puckered, silver-dollar-sized,
pirahna-bite-like THINGS on my bulbous white buns.

>>>So anyway, put yourself in the ... nut's shoes: ya got yer
"WAR," ya got your "ELECTION," ya got your MILLENIUM ...
ya got yer PERSONALITY DISORDER, ya got yer NO FRIENDS,
... ya got yer intense fantasies, and
ya got yer BOOK OF THE SUBGENIUS and Internet access to alt.slack,
where those people are FRAUDS who never took seriously that book of
HIDDEN TRUTHs... and not a one of them turned out to be intelligent
enough to recognize your obvious mystic seerhood, in fact, they kind of
seemed to be AVOIDING you... especially Stang, that Neanderthal...
HMMM, WHAT TO DO?

You fight with all your sad, Lilliputian might to ignore them when they say
"You're really goin' down, buddy, but we all wish you'd stop; the dog don't like
yer fellation technique. You're the 11th dirty, squirming piglet at a 10-teated
sow and you're befouling an otherwise tasty sausage."
You then continue pursuing an avenue that didn't work the first time, or the
57th and has made you an object of all the transient, tiny little hate anyone
with an IQ above that of a mouse pad and an attention span longer than that of a
house cat on crack tends to devote to a mere packet of putrid posts. You THEN
order that awful CD of kid songs on TV and listen to "Eensty Weensy Spider" on
Repeat until you blow a node.

Well, if you're going to be a nut, you have to stick with the program, right? I
mean, look what dignified and staid consistency has done for ME.

HellPope Huey, hellpopehuey@subgenius.com
I am damned dissatisfied to be killed in this manner

Authorities say the phony Pope can be recognized
by his high cotton tennis shoes
and incredibly foul mouth.
- "The Simpsons"

"Fascism in America will attempt to advance
under the banner of Americanism and anti-Fascism."
- Georgi Dimitrov

"I love the feel of the wind on my ass."
- Drew Carey

"God's name is Allah!"
"No its not, its Yahweh!!"
"You're BOTH wrong, its FUDD!!"
"I'LL
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: SPUTUM, and any other net wizards, Chas Smith of ESO needs your help.
From: Monseignor Tartarus Sanctus <tartarus@sophus.cudenver.edu>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Tue, Jan 8, 2002 3:37 PM
Message-ID: <3C3B587A.76D86A18@sophus.cudenver.edu>

nu-monet wrote:

> "First Impressions: What people did on their first
> meeting with Reverend Ivan Stang"

I remember it like it was yesterday. I was bathing in the Ganges, when
along came a nude and completely sunburned Stang. I recognized him from
a recurring dream. He had been eating red curry for a week, and as he
waded out the river ran red, as with blood. Well, that was just too much
for mom, so we hightailed it out of there, but not before stealing an
ounce of frop from Stang's beat up tennis shoe, which he had left with
his cutoffs on the shore. Jet black Paki hash, it was, and the trip back
was enlightening, to say the least.

--
Monseignor Tartarus Sanctus
Salvian H.P. Synod
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: SPUTUM, and any other net wizards, Chas Smith of ESO needs your help.
From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Wed, Jan 16, 2002 10:09 PM
Message-ID: <160120022209348646%stang@subgenius.com>

In article <tiq94uc9lkmaukgqktogl8ikhoapg7v1uf@4ax.com>,
<cuthulu@shreve.net> wrote:

>
> I think I've told you this before, but it bears repeating:
>
> I don't practice what I preach, because I'm not the kind of person I'm
> preaching
> to.

Finally, a funny line out of K'vahn!

Subject: Re: SPUTUM, and any other net wizards, Chas Smith of ESO needs your help.
From: Arbane the Terrible <arbane@attbi.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Reply-To: arbane@attbi.com
Date: Thu, Jan 17, 2002 2:10 AM
Message-ID: <MNu18.39768$Vq.358983@rwcrnsc53>

Rev. Ivan Stang wrote:

> In article <tiq94uc9lkmaukgqktogl8ikhoapg7v1uf@4ax.com>,
> The Great L4mE 0ne <cuthulu@shreve.net> wrote:

>> I think I've told you this before, but it bears repeating:
>>
>> I don't practice what I preach, because I'm not the kind of person I'm
>> preaching
>> to.
>
> Finally, a funny line out of K'vahn!

I wonder where he got it from?

--
"Remember, the plural of 'moron' is 'focus group'."
-- James A. Wolf

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Original file name: Re- SPUTUM, and any other ..2 - converted on Monday, 21 July 2003, 13:44