Subject: It's Kennedy Day

From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Fri, Nov 22, 2002 11:01 AM

So don't forget to celebrate Lee Harvey Oswald Day this weekend.

The SubGenius contributions to the Kennedy assassination are too often
forgotten. Without Oswald, and more so, the great SubGenius David
Ferrie, with his glued-on eyebrows, the most inside-joke-ridden of all
the great modern assassinations would be no more bulldada than any of
the other ones.

FACT (well, according to one of the assassination books): When Lee
Oswald was a little boy, his family lived on Victor Street in Dallas,
which is where I lived in Dallas for 17 years. WE DON'T KNOW WHICH
HOUSE OSWALD LIVED IN ON VICTOR STREET.

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Subject: Re: It's Kennedy Day
From: Whose TITAN Elbow <crgre02+usenet@newsguy.com>

"Rev. Ivan Stang" wrote:

> WE DON'T KNOW WHICH
> HOUSE OSWALD LIVED IN ON VICTOR STREET.

The Warren Commisars said it was 4801, but YOU KNEW THAT, DIDN"T
YOU...LEE???!!!

--
`Although xylitol has a relatively long organic chemical history, the
first half of this century was rather eventless from xylitol's point of
view...'' -- Professor Kauko K. Mäkinen

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Subject: Re: It's Kennedy Day
From: <SGSpice@safe-mail.net>

Rev. Ivan Stang said:

[stuff]

on what days do we honor the other has-been em-tee-vee-jays?

--
"excuse me, but does this rag smell like chloroform?"

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Subject: Re: It's Kennedy Day
From: mshotz@aol.comnospam (James T. Rex King of the Monsters)

>FACT (well, according to one of the assassination books): When Lee
>Oswald was a little boy, his family lived on Victor Street in Dallas,
>which is where I lived in Dallas for 17 years. WE DON'T KNOW WHICH
>HOUSE OSWALD LIVED IN ON VICTOR STREET.

Well, obviously Victor Street produces it fair share of losers! Opps I forgot!
Its in Texas! That explains it.

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Subject: Re: It's Kennedy Day
From: "Unclaimed Mysteries" <k4doh@mindspring.com>

"Rev. Ivan Stang" wrote:

> WE DON'T KNOW WHICH
> HOUSE OSWALD LIVED IN ON VICTOR STREET.

Yes we do.

Sincerely,
"We"

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Subject: Re: It's Kennedy Day
From: Her Ladyship Lilith von Fraumench <lilith@ZubJenius.com>

> So don't forget to celebrate Lee Harvey Oswald Day this weekend.

I almost forgot Lee Harvey Oswald Day! We've been so busy building fake
Mannlicher-Carcanos and shouting "Duck!" at total strangers, that we
haven't been faking clutching at our guts and going "Argh...!" We'll
get right on it.

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Subject: Re: It's Kennedy Day
From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>

I had a mild couple of Lee H. Oswald related coincidences happen for me
this weekend. I downloaded and watched the new, yet totally old-school,
monster movie, "Eight Legged Freaks," which I enjoyed very much, but at
one point the fat comedy relief sherriff's deputy is loading up all the
small town sherriff's office rifles, muttering their names, when he
holds up a battered Mannlicher-Carcano and mutters, "...and the Lee
Harvey Oswald gun, why the hell we have this I dunno." Later in the
movie, when the comedy relief conspiracy-nut pirate radio black guy is
handed the gun to help fight giant spiders, he mutters something like,
"And now I'm holding Lee Harvey Oswald's rifle. This has gotta be the
weirdest day of my life."

Then this morning, we/I and Pater Nostril were looking at pictures
taken by Philo and Puzzling Evidence on a recent road trip, which
happened to include a whole lot of shots of old photographs inside the
conspiracy museum in downtown Dallas near Dealy Plaza, many of which
showed Lee Oswald in the jail building just before he was killed. Rare
shots of the sainted Idiot Patsy.

Also, I was at the Cleveland radio station Thursday night and mentioned
to one of the dee jays how Kennedy Day was coming up, and he quizzed me
about the assassination, in that way some people have when they talk to
crackpots and are trying to elicit crazy-talk. I didn't THINK I was
taking the bait, but when I mentioned Marilyn Monroe and both Kennedy
boys, he acted like he was finally hearing the kook stuff. I said no,
actually that's not especially kooky conspiracy stuff, Monroe did dally
with both Kennedy boys and in fact it's fairly likely that RFK was
there right after she O.D.ed and even tried to get her to the hospital
but gave up. He acted like that was the craziest thing he'd ever heard.
I decided to really rub it in and told him that somewhere, some mafia
and electronic bugging dudes probably have muffled audio tapes of
Monroe and the Kennedy boys having sex and partying. "Oh yeah so
where's the tapes?" All I could say was I hoped to be able to download
them off the Internet some day before I die. I don't think he believed
any of what i was telling him, and yet it's not especialy secret or
even interesting except inasmuch as it demonstrates the close yet
mostly indirect ties between the Kennedys and the Mafia, big deal,
whoop te do. I thought they taught that shit in high schools by now.
But then I come to find that they don't even teach history or science
at all in high school, just anal sex and how not ever to GET A JOB.

The radio guys asked me, "So who killed Kenndy" and I said, "Oh, the
mafia, and for good reason from their pointof view. But the reason the
Kennedy family themselves wanted to let the Warren Report version be
the official one was because of [censored bullshit]. Congratulations,
now you're part of the cover-up too." That was done to me, and now I
like to do it to people. Make them part of the cover-up.

I will NOT however make every Harry Dickin' "Bob" on this newsgroup
part of the cover-up, so don't even.

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Subject: Re: It's Kennedy Day
From: talysman <talysman@globalsurrealism.com>

I was thinking about the monroe-kennedy connection, which to my
knowledge was known in rumor even back when they were both alive...
because with all the revelations in the press lately about kennedy's
horrible debilitating disease (which I first heard about almost ten
years ago, but the press is just now catching up) it occurred to me:
could kennedy even HAVE sex? was the whole relationship "covered up"
then leaked so that they could coverup the fact that kennedy was a
near-invalid?

or maybe marilyn gave him a couple clintons, just to keep him happy.

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Subject: Re: It's Kennedy Day
From: "nu-monet v5.0" <nothing@succeeds.com>

Rev. Ivan Stang wrote:
> ...ties between the Kennedys and the Mafia, big deal,
> whoop te do.

My favorite hypothesis is that Jack the Zipper was
that lethal combination of a drugged out zombie
with his finger on the button. Or at least that's
how a lot of THEM thought of him as.

First of all he had Addison's disease, a real nasty
back in them thar days, with lots of ruptured
capillaries in the skin giving you giant bruises and
shit before you die--about the only thing they
could give him for it was lots of injected steroids,
along with all the other fruit cocktail of goodies
he sucked down so he could stand up while his insides
turned to pork currey.

Aaaaaand, doctors of the time were under the mistaken
notion that giving someone lots of injected steroids
would make them clinically paranoid.

Aaaaaand, it was before they could institute the
"Failsafe system", so whack-boy almost literally
has his finger on the trigger.

I mean SHIT, if you wanted to kill Jack, you'd have
to freaking WAIT IN LINE behind everybody else who
thought that nukleer war was a BAD THING. The KGB,
the FBI, the CIA, the mob--SHEEEIT, they prolly
thought they were doing EVERYBODY a favor.

--
"La Cucaracha, la Cucaracha,
Ya no puede caminar,
Porque no tiene, porque le falta,
Marijuana que fumar."

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Original file name: It's Kennedy Day - converted on Monday, 21 July 2003, 13:44