Subject: 5X-Day Subsite Layout Contest Prize Winner!

From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Thu, Oct 10, 2002 9:30 PM

ST. MYKAL D'ARCHANGEL

http://subgenius.com/bigfist/fun/devivals/5XDay/5X-Day-text/Post-XDV.htm
l

That's a long one, you might have to splice it. Or just follow the
links through events through the news,
http://subgenius.com/updates/updates.html

He made the vast archive of 5 X-Day RePorn and Reports comprehensible.
Well maybe not comprehensible, but you can see practically the whole
list at once.

Soon Mykal will get the BIG PRIZE!

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Subject: Re: 5X-Day Subsite Layout Contest Prize Winner!
From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>

Lilith von Fraumench <lilith@ZubJenius.com> wrote:

> Rev. Ivan Stang wrote:
>
> > Soon Mykal will get the BIG PRIZE!
>
> You mean, he won the honor of redesigning all of SubSite by hand?!?

No.

> Can he table it?

That must be a web designer joke.

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Subject: Re: 5X-Day Subsite Layout Contest Prize Winner!
From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>

KRONOS wrote:

> > What does "table it" mean anyway?
>
> That's when you whip out your schlong and place it on the table for
> inspection

Oh, well now it makes sense.

I knew that "table it" could mean "put it away for now," or it might
mean "adding columns and layout elements to a web page using "tables"".

I couldn't for the life of me figure out why St. Mykal had his pecker
laying out on that picnic table last time. He LOOKED like he was
expecting something to happen. He must have thought I was deliberately
ignoring him.

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Subject: Re: 5X-Day Subsite Layout Contest Prize Winner!
From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>

>, Her Ladyship
Lilith von Fraumench <lilith@ZubJenius.com> wrote:

> Well, I have to admit being particularly bitchy lately. Actually, I am
> beginning to think I'm bipolar. That'd explain, first off, why I start
> two dozen projects at the same time but then stop working on them all
> and stew in my own discontent for a while. Also, it would explain how
> my thoughts and feelings would get really "high-pitched" and then drop
> to a barely audible hum. Either way, it's a hideous drain and it's
> keeping me from actually doing shit.

With so-called real bipolar condition, though, don't the cycles
generally last longer? It seems like you go through ups and downs all
day long. With a different personality in charge of the body every hour
or so. Like most SubGeniuses probably. It's just that lately I guess
the ups and downs have been too extreme, right?

Damn. Do they give you any of the GOOD pills for that? I've known quite
a few people who said they were bipolar manic depressive, but none of
them liked the medication, and some didn't take it.

Then there's the pure Jeckyll and Hyde syndrome also common to
SubGenii. Where they're saints most of the time, but every now and then
they deliberately do something that they know good and well is going to
make them want to be BAD. They already WANTED to be bad, the pil or
outfit or peer group or whatnot just loosens their inhibitions enough
that they can actually PERFORM the HYDE ACTS.

But that is more or less controllable via the tana leaves, wolfsbane,
elixirs, methamphetamines, or whatever. Much more potential for fun.
Terrible moods that come and go for no reason, that's a whole different
kind of bummer.

FOOD is the ULTIMATE "PILL" though, at least it turned out to be so for
me. That and SLEEP, which we already knew to be the final perfect
narcotic. You mentioned CAKE -- maybe you should investigate that
avenue of Slack further. Also the wife. Those beings, or at least their
physical shells, are often useful in distracting the mind from
unpleasantness. But I'm sure you already know this, but the
overpowering sense of doom and gloom is preventing you from enjoying
the Slack that's almost being rubbed in your face.

Well, I totally sympathize because I HAVE BEEN THERE! Or something
close enough to sympathize with. But if you grit your teeth and bite
leather and hang in there, you know there will come a breaking point,
and some sort of Involuntary Slack will take over, and eventually
you'll laugh, looking back at THIS VERY TIME!

I sincerely hope you don't have to bite leather for years and years. My
own teeth got kind of worn down from doing that and I still
occassionally have to deal with the damage. But I have a huge colection
of chewed-through leather straps, and a vial of tooth-grit.

> > What does "table it" mean anyway?
>
> I was referring to the definition, "to remove (as a parliamentary
> motion) from consideration indefinitely." If I had to redesign SubSite,
> I'd table it. Fuck, I've tabled redesigning both foolspress.com and
> ssucc.com even though I've got PLENTY of free time.

Oh, like giving up for now. "Let's table that discussion." Well, that's
never really an option. It's a nice FANTASY, but come on, it's not like
I am a sane man regarding this little art project/world religion.

It would be like you deciding to just stop being Lil, and change
yourself to look like a regular ordinary normal dork. Just so getting
work and living in Normal America would be easier. You would probably
rather die. Even if it were possible.

> (Well, I've got all the graphics done, but actually redoing all the
> links, reorganizing the pages, changing the layout, etc. etc.
> intimidates the shit out of me. And both sites put together barely take
> any room on a Zip disk--forget the gigabytes of SubSite. Man, when it
> comes to web design, I'm a total coward.)

I have thought of just ERASING EVERYTHING and starting over from
scratch! It would fill up again almost instantly if I stayed on it. We
would sell the OLD SUBSITE as a CD-Rom as we already do.

But actually I am sure there are PERL scripts that could be written to
mass-change all the headers and footers in some major way. It's just
one of those things I haven't gotten to yet.

Luckily, the Church swag-output is half composed of whim-created things
I never expected nor asked for, from diverse contributors, which more
than "takes up the slack" for the things nobody gets to.

There's a diiferent unexpected mini-crisis every day, so it's hard for
me to stay on a schedule. For instance, today, I probably should take
advantage of the last decent weather to do yardwork, but what I'd
RATHER do is work on the online FIST and Art Mines. But what I'll
probably ACTUALLY do is finally get to adding some new products to the
Cafe Press site using the killer artwork. I picked a ton of art, and
Jesus and Mag were gonna help narrow it down, but they've been raising
a child and I haven't, and they've been sick and I haven't, so I'm just
gonna plow ahead and do it. It has taken about a year for it to sink
into my head that making a Dobbsface product of the gimcracks and
geegaws they supply costs us NOTHING. NOTHING!! They don't MAKE us much
either but a little is more than nothing. And a little more is EXACTLY
what I need in my personal bank account RIGHT NOW.

That's the sort of thing that interferes with the pure artistry of
SubSITE redesign. MAMMON!! The greed and need for FILTHY LUCRE! The
selfsame filthy lucre that Dobbs tells us is holy and like life's
blood.

I figure I need to make as much $$ as I can immediately, since
civilization is about tocollapse. Need it for AMMO and enough gold
crowns to take care of the rest of my mouth as the years go on and all
my teeth break.

In fact why the fuck am I monkeying with this newsgroup again.

Anyway I am glad you're feeling better, or sometimes feeling better
anyway) and I hope you get to feeling better than that. At least you
have cake and a wife, and those really are more important than money or
frop. Albeit JUST barely.

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Subject: Re: 5X-Day Subsite Layout Contest Prize Winner!
From: Her Ladyship Lilith von Fraumench <lilith@ZubJenius.com>

Rev. Ivan Stang <stang@subgenius.com> wrote:

> With so-called real bipolar condition, though, don't the cycles
> generally last longer? It seems like you go through ups and downs all
> day long. With a different personality in charge of the body every hour
> or so. Like most SubGeniuses probably. It's just that lately I guess
> the ups and downs have been too extreme, right?

Well, yes, there are fluctuations throughout a day. But there's also a
larger pattern on top of that. You can tell when I stop posting to
alt.slack that I'm on the down side of that pattern. I'll generally
withdraw from everything--the half-dozen Yahoo! groups I post to and/or
moderate, socializing outside of "work", and on a few memorable
occasions, from reality itself. And then I'll start to come back out of
it and simultaneously start doing dozens of things at once again.

I could well be wrong. But the antidepressants don't seem to work worth
a shit, and there's too much going on in my head during the manic phase
to let me concentrate on completing anything.

As for the cake and wife thing, yeah, there's slack there to be sure,
but when I get too manic or too depressed, it's overwhelming and I yell
at 'em to leave me be. Now isn't THAT sick?

My current ShorDurPerSav is Dr. Legume, because he recommended the
Altoids Tangerine Sours, which is now a major source of slack for me.

But right this second, slack is USING THE BATHROOM. So if you'd excuse
me....

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Original file name: 5X-Day Subsite Layout Contest E - converted on Monday, 21 July 2003, 13:44