Subject: religious conversion

From: phy <phy00x@yahoo.com>
Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology,alt.slack
Date: Tue, Nov 26, 2002

So my mom said I was a athiest so I suppose i oughtta get my god on. I can't decide on the kibological or subgenius faith. The Kibology is $10 cheaper but it doesn't include the alien sex goddessessess. Since i decided to get religion I thought I would start out properly by letting you people do my thinking for me and tell me which domination I should be.

-phy
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From: Joe Cosby <joecosby@SPAMBLOCKmindspring.com>

http://www.kiskipby.org/presbyday/foltz.jpg

--
Joe Cosby
http://joecosby.home.mindspring.com
We are sorry, you have reached an imaginary number. Please rotate your phone
ninety degrees and try again.
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From: phy <phy00x@yahoo.com>

Now I know what one I *don't* want.

-phy
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From: Rose Marie Holt <rmholt1@mindspring.com>

Do both - there is nothing in the rules that says you cant.
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From: "Dr. Rev Chuck, MD, PA" <cdub@_REMOVETHIS_erols.com>

Don't forget: http://www.ulc.org/
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From: "nu-monet v5.0" <nothing@succeeds.com>

SubGenius is O-K, I guess, though I'm schisming off to form a Kali death cult. I figure I'm just cutting my losses if I bet on death to win.

It offers me all the goodies: abortion on demand, request, or even if the bitch doesn't want one; euthanasia for all them good-off older relatives who might leave you the boil and spooty when their wheelchair takes a few tumbles down a flight of stairs; you can be patriotically warlike, bigoted, and genocidal and FEEL GOOD about it; bigtime pro-death penalty, pro-gun *and* pro-dangerous drugs.

Even if you fuck up and get caught, "Bob" just justifies yer fuck up. Kali gal is right there in the cheering section when you grab the needle out of that techs hand and shove it into your own neck! 10 minutes early, and *after* the liberal Governor has commuted your sentence. That'll show them!

Fuck it all anyway. Do you really give a shit for 99.9% of those assholes you meet at the bus stop? Imagine for a second you got a phaser. Wouldn't it be fun as all fuck just to burn a swath of death and destruction around town, just so you can get to the video store quicker?

Don't get mad. Commit homicide. She'll luv ya for it.

--
"YOU BELONG TO US NOW!"
"GET DOWN WITH MY SICKNESS!!"
--Kino Beman, brand name
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From: Joe Cosby <joecosby@SPAMBLOCKmindspring.com>

Fer real. A homicide is just a suicide with a nasty wall-eye condition, after all.
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From: "Artemia Salina" <y2k@sheayright.com>

In the interest of fostering a deeper sense of brotherhood and stronger spiritual bonds between the Subgenius and Kibological faiths,

PLEASE DO NOT CROSS-POST TO ALT.SLACK AND ALT.RELIGION.KIBOLOGY

TIA
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From: Beable van Polasm <beable@NOS.PAM.beable.com.THANKS>

Why not? You just did, you HORRIBLE LITTLE BRINE SHRIMP!

DO WHAT I SAY, NOT WHAT I DO!!!

BEABLE SAY... EVERYBODY JUMP! JUMP! JUMP! JUMP!

--
cheers
Beable van Polasm
Perl 6 will give you the big knob. -- Larry Wall
http://beable.com

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Original file name: religious conversion.txt - converted on Friday, 13 June 2003, 22:40