From: iDRMRSR <idrmrsr@subgenius.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Sun, Jun 16, 2002
K'lahn:
>5'6-1/2", 299.5 lbs
Damn! Lose some weight before you have a heart attack.<
I won't lose weight until some Government Agent threatens to drag me into Fat Court.
But my question to you Kevan (there's one more hit for your stats), is, do you advise I stop smoking before or AFTER I lose the weight?
[*]
-----
PS the medical community is positively flummoxed at
the idea of a healthy fat person. Now I have had my
skirmishes with problems, all right, but so far they
haven't been related to weight at all. My ma, gramma,
and her sisters were all even bigger than me and lived
into their 80's. I know a dood about a third my weight
who has cholesterol of 285 and has to eat nothing but
rabbit food. It's the genes.
Fatties are an unrecognized separate species of hjuman!
Yeah, we got our problems, such as flimsy deck chairs,
but then again it's a mistake to throb us over the
head with health issues that lean people suffer from
just as often. It's in yer genes.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: IMBJR <imbjr@imbjr.com>
iDRMRSR <idrmrsr@subgenius.com> wrote:
>PS the medical community is positively flummoxed
at the idea of a
>healthy fat person. Now I have had my skirmishes
with problems, all
Now I happen to know you are in the Anti-Sugar League
- hardly a skirmish.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: iDRMRSR <idrmrsr@subgenius.com>
Yes, I've been shooting "I" for eight years now. Using Nutrasweet until it first came out in Canada in 1985. Not exactly a skirmish, more like a Cold War. Each of us has the trigger for mutually assured destruction. It could go savage and destroy me, or I could simply get a gastric bypass and I'd be better off, though poor, as here in the US we don't believe in prevention as much as remediation.
So far, I've spent a lot on defence, to continue the analogy. Indeed, I've a couple of toes I haven't felt for the past five years, so I'm allowed to park in the cripple slots. It's a sleeping giant but most of the things it attacks can be replaced nowadays. Rather like Cuba, to continue the analogy.
I may get to be with Bob a little earlier than the next
bloke, but at my age, this isn't all a bad thing.
Spunk and Ben-Gay smell pretty bad when mixed, if you
get my drift. Along with sagging bosoms, I think I'd
just as soon pass...
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Her Ladyship Lilith von Fraumench <lilith@ZubJenius.com>
If you keep on smoking, you might burn the fat right off.
Her Ladyship Lilith
--
\m/ -=8=- http://lilith.foolspress.com/ -=8=- \m/
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "Blackout" <blackout@404infomagic.net>
"iDRMRSR" wrote
> K'lahn:
POINT!
j'lahn, k'lahn and r'lahn
the KOOK TRINITY
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: rlan538885@aol.comnobozos (RLan538885)
>the KOOK TRINITY
Blackout. The favorite bitch-boy of cyberspace.
"100,000 lemmings can't be wrong"
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "Blackout" <blackout@404infomagic.net>
I just KNEW I was your favorite.
I just KNEW all my TOUGHLOVE would pay off.
now stop and drop and give me 20, you DIRTY LITTLE EX MARINE YOU.
and if you spill a drop it will be tongue the bunghole
duty fer ye
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>
iDRMRSR <idrmrsr@subgenius.com> wrote:
> Fatties are an unrecognized separate species of
hjuman! Yeah, we got
> our problems, such as flimsy deck chairs, but then
again it's a mistake
> to throb us over the head with health issues that
lean people suffer
> from just as often. It's in yer genes.
The fat man inside me is struggling like hell to get out and so far, he's doing a pretty good job of it.
I was a fat kid as a pre-adolescent. I looked EXACTLY like Bobby Hill on King of the Hill. Even though I'm a relatively shrivelled little fellow now, my self image was created when I was fatter than everybody else.
Arbitrarily deciding on somebody else's "best" weight based on some statistical norm is... well, it's TYPICAL, isn't it. It's OBVIOUS and COMMON SENSE that some people are just naturally skinny, some are naturally fat, etc. Yes, NATURALLY fat, NATURALLY skinny.
So FUCK the medium sized norm-worms and their ridiculous notions of YOUR health. Except their holes are too small for good fuckery -- you have to loosen them up first, and even then, they aren't good for much but using as human "rubbers" while fucking a person of healthy size.
Theoretically. I'm just guessing.
--
4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath
of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected (Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
P.O. Box 181417, Cleveland, OH 44118 (fax 216-320-9528)
A subsidiary of:
The SubGenius Foundation, Inc. / P.O. Box 204206, Austin,
TX 78720-4206
Dobbs-Approved Authorized Commercial Outreach of The
Church of the SubGenius
SubSITE: http://www.subgenius.com
For SubGenius Biz & Orders: call toll free to 1-888-669-2323
or email: jesus@subgenius.com
PRABOB
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "Hilbert Hooper Aspaspia" <britton@subgenius.com>
"Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com> wrote...
> The fat man inside me is struggling like hell to
get out and so far,
> he's doing a pretty good job of it.
>
> I was a fat kid as a pre-adolescent. I looked EXACTLY
like Bobby Hill
> on King of the Hill. Even though I'm a relatively
shriveled little
> fellow now, my self image was created when I was
fatter than everybody
> else.
Ah, I'm exactly the same, only backwards. I grew up
as the "skinny weakling". I could eat almost
anything and not gain weight. When I was 18, I was
6' tall and weighed 145 lbs. My self image is that
of the 145lb."skinny guy". It took 3 months
of boot camp to turn me into a 6' tall 175 lb. behemoth.
175 lbs. is where I stayed until when I turned 25 or
so. After I turned 25 yrs. I started gaining weight.
Slowly. I'm now 41 yrs. and 235 lbs. I can't even look
at food without gaining weight. I used to poke fun
at Fat people. Now I am a Fat people!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Arbane the Terrible <arbane@attbi.com>
Kevan wrote:
> Except it's not arbitrary; it's based on science.
Science says 5'6" and
> 220 pounds is obese. It's a BMI of over 35.
Who's this 'Science' guy? The one from that TV show?
--
"Remember, the plural of 'moron' is 'focus group'."
-- James A. Wolf
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: John Starrett <jstarret@carbon.cudenver.edu>
Kevan wrote:
>
> "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>
wrote:
>
> >Arbitrarily deciding on somebody else's "best"
weight based on some
> >statistical norm is... well, it's TYPICAL,
isn't it. It's OBVIOUS and
> >COMMON SENSE that some people are just naturally
skinny, some are
> >naturally fat, etc. Yes, NATURALLY fat, NATURALLY
skinny.
>
> Except it's not arbitrary; it's based on science.
Science says 5'6" and 220
> pounds is obese. It's a BMI of over 35.
Under normal circumstances, perhaps. However, I hired a Tongan and his cousins to do some masonry for me recently, and one of them measured just about the numbers you state. All muscle it was, too. There are a large number of Samoans with that same body type. Some of it certainly is genetics. Eskimos, for instance, can eat a diet consisting largely of fat and not become obese.
--
John Starrett
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>
Blackout <blackout@404infomagic.net> wrote:
> j'lahn, k'lahn and r'lahn
>
> the KOOK TRINITY
I think it's okay to keep "K'vahn" with a V... I don't think it throws off the balance too badly.
Signed, I'Vahn (pronounced, "Yvonne," wink wink)
Hey, this is cool! We're like the "normals"
ganging up on the "weirdos"! Only in reverse!
Just like "Bob" predicted!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Arbane the Terrible <arbane@attbi.com>
Well, what ELSE are we supposed to do with jerks? They're
too greasy to eat, and too smelly to use as insulation.
And it's good practice. It keeps our teeth and claws
sharp, like when we were little.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: rlan538885@aol.comnobozos (RLan538885)
You are just stupid. Never been a Marine. You've got the wrong guy. Don't live in Lynnwood either, for that matter.
That's what happens when you punks become ENRAGED and get PSYCHOTIC.
Face it. YOU ARE A STALKER!!!!
But I'll meet you there with Dickless.
So come on up with Dickless and let's see just how TOUGH
you are.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: rlan538885@aol.comnobozos (RLan538885)
Forget it, Joanie. You're a non-entity.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Reverend DJ Epoch <nunyabiz@noway.com>
subgenius@eboxmail.us (Joan Of Slack) wrote:
> rlan538885@aol.comnobozos (RLan538885) wrote in message
>> Blackout. The favorite bitch-boy of cyberspace.
> What did you eat that makes your brain fart so much?
His foot.... now he's got athelete's tongue.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: friday@fridayjones.com (Friday Jones)
Now, everybody get somebody ELSE naked!
--
I know that MY penis has been used to do evil. It mauled
a group of
children once, in fact. Well, there was a sign up..."Beware
of my Penis"
but they were taunting it with a stick....soon it broke
the lead it was on
and it was all over them. **shaking head** The judge
said I had to have it
put to sleep. I showed him a picture of my wife, and
he said, "Damn, that
should have done it."
- Mark_Stone
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