Subject: Perils of Reporduction

From: iDRMRSR <alex.i.thymia@depression.org>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Sat, Jun 15, 2002

I wuz watching CNN today and they had a thing about how pregnant wimmin have trouble sleeping in the last trimester, because the little pre-human inside their baby machine is dreaming and sending off brain waves. The little kid to be apparently has REM sleep just like a real fully baked humanling!

Only thing I was wondering, in my SubGenius way, was, what the hell does a baby that so far hasn't once peeped its little eyeballs DREAM ABOUT IN THE FIRST PLACE?

Do you suppose the kid to be dreams they is naked in an airport? Flying? The usual stuff?

Or do they dream about some wet and reddish place that smells like fish?

[*]
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From: "nu-monet v4.0" <nothing@succeeds.com>

Well, typically, they're going over their life program; what they are going to do, like "Be perfectly normal and everything until I'm 15, then start doing drugs like crazy and molesting sheep and slashing tires on cop cars and doing weird, Satanic shit, and drinking and smoking and totally fuck over my parents who have been nothing but kind and caring to me, just to see what its fucking like to be a total animal. Then join up with a biker gang and get shanked after I impregnate some whore. Then die in a ditch and give a bunch of vultures the clap, which then mutates into a pulmonary form of gonorrhea, which is my purpose in life."

--
"That certainly made me feel normal."
--Reverend Ivan Stang
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From: HellPopeHuey <hellpopehuey@subspamgeenyus.com>

Yeah, Mom could inhale 2 benzene molecules and cause a cascade that led to the distortion of some pivotal choline strands in utero and voila, another yard man or RLAN.

Nice touch with the vultures on clap part. I somehow stay a lot happier when you guys provide me with images like that. May we never snap to and look at this stuff dead-on. It'll be real "Masque of the Red Death."

HellPope Huey, hellpopehuey@subgenius.com
Welcome to the wide world of Distractions.
In fact, you're soaking in one right now.
"Don't be such a hardass!"
"I said no nicknames!"
- "Becker"
"There's no hell like an old Hell..."
- David Bowie, "Outside"

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Original file name: Perils of Reporducti.txt - converted on Friday, 13 June 2003, 22:40