Subject: Dear SubGenius Answer Thing

From: "Rev. Magdalen" <magdalen@subgenius.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Tue, Oct 22, 2002

Why do thinks look smaller when they are farther away?

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From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>

Methinks you meant "things."

Just as when you want a place or thing to come near you, and your feet, or car wheels, or airplane or whatnot, tug the planet in various directions trackball-style, simultaneously causing the object you desire to physically grow to the appropriate size as it approaches you, so the same effect occurs in reverse to objects you are sending away from you. The rotation of the planet away from you causes all things to shrink increasingly in that direction. Otherwise, the planet would remain "full sized" in ALL areas, even those you care nothing about, and thus would be too large for you to rotate easily.

-- Forbidden Science 101

Think you very much.

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From: El Queso <the_cheese_23@yahoo.com>

Because they actually are smaller. Distance is an illusion.

Queso
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From: Reverend DJ Epoch <nunyabiz@noway.com>

It makes it easier to hide thinks behind other thinks.

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-- The Church of Our lady of Perpetual Motion
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From: iDRMRSR <idrmrsr@subgenius.com>

Thinks, maybe. But I know that *I* don't look any smaller at a distance. Even when I'm standing behind Meat Loaf. Who I have almost always weighed more than.

[*]
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From: Joe Cosby <joecosby@SPAMBLOCKmindspring.com>

Things in a mirror are closer than they appear, so logically everything else must look smaller because it is in an inside out mirror.

--
Joe Cosby
http://joecosby.home.mindspring.com
You have to agree that cars are readily available, and easy to conceal
in a school's parking lot.
- Fred Ziffel
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From: Reverend DJ Epoch <nunyabiz@noway.com>

It is a known fact that you can't hide a larger think behind a smaller think, especially if it's larger than Meatloaf..

I think.

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Original file name: Dear SubGenius Answer Thing.txt - converted on Friday, 13 June 2003, 22:40