$30 slack, did "Bob" FUCK ME!?

"Bud"
<budec@qwest.net>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Mon, Apr 29, 2002

WTF, did "Bob" rip me off? I sent in $30 USD and got a black folder with a bunch of propaganda in it and one sheet off bloater paper with a "Dobbs head".

Where are my Sex Goddness-es? Where is my time control watch? Where is my ability to move really slow (or fast??) like that Matrix guy?

Also, I am "offically" a minster, but by MN law (I check with local goverment), they said I don't have to right to preform marriages (legally).... my little card says otherwise. I have been calling state of IL and have to call some Nancy back in 20 minutes or so, but they said from the sounds of it, I can't preform marriages there either (legally that is).

What gives? Is COSG even reconized (ie. regestered) with the United States as a relgion?

I am so confused. I just wanted sex with hot chicks and external and internal eurphobia-tically blue aura!!

Does this church even have blue eurphobia-tically magic aurally spells? Where is the orgies and orges? My mind is tried. Rest.

Regards,
Bud
"Geo"
<geovoice@earthlink.net>

"Bud" wrote...

WTF, did "Bob" rip me off? I sent in $30 USD and got a black folder with a bunch of propaganda in it and one sheet off bloater paper with a "Dobbs head".

Where are my Sex Goddness-es? Where is my time control watch? Where is my ability to move really slow (or fast??) like that Matrix guy?

Dude, you just got the BASIC packet. The sex goddesses, frop, and Deck of Many Things that let's you do all the other stuff is on BACKORDER. Patience, now, Nirvana wasn't built in a day. Sides' you may have these powers by now, AND NOT EVEN KNOW, BY DOBBS! HE'S JUST THAT SUBTLE!!
;)

ps, I had to fork over ten dollars to the Pinks to get my "official" shingle to marry here in Ohio, but hey, the Con do try to get you comin' and goin', don't dey.

Rev.Geo

"Rev. Ivan Stang"
Bud wrote:

WTF, did "Bob" rip me off? I sent in $30 USD and got a black folder with a bunch of propaganda in it and one sheet off bloater paper with a "Dobbs head".

Holy shit... man, you didn't eat the WHOLE SHEET of bloater acid at ONCE did you?? Christ. We don't know how much someone would bloat from eating the WHOLE DOBBSHEAD. You're only supposed to suck on ONE DOT at a TIME! Jeepers, I hope Cafe Press isn't leaving out that special disclaimer/instructions letter... there will be overbloated SubGenii all over America. Well, five or six of them anyway.

Also, I am "offically" a minster, but by MN law (I check with local goverment), they said I don't have to right to preform marriages (legally).... my little card says otherwise. I have been calling state of IL and have to call some Nancy back in 20 minutes or so, but they said from the sounds of it, I can't preform marriages there either (legally that is).

??? Uh-oh! That means the two couples I married in Illinois WASTED a lot of money on their subsequent divorces!

What gives? Is COSG even reconized (ie. regestered) with the United States as a relgion?

No, but neither is Christianity or Judaism.

I am so confused. I just wanted sex with hot chicks and external and internal eurphobia-tically blue aura!!

Does this church even have blue eurphobia-tically magic aurally spells? Where is the orgies and orges? My mind is tried. Rest.

Oh, THOSE!! They're invisible to the unworthy. It's how we keep the riff raff out. The orgies are happening right in front of you... you're swimming in orgies.

Naw, just kidding. We're still working on Orgy #273... it should be out as soon as sales pick up.

--
4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected   (Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
P.O. Box 181417, Cleveland, OH 44118  (fax 216-320-9528)
A subsidiary of:
The SubGenius Foundation, Inc. / P.O. Box 204206, Austin, TX 78720-4206
Dobbs-Approved Authorized Commercial Outreach of The Church of the SubGenius
SubSITE: http://www.subgenius.com
For SubGenius Biz & Orders: call toll free to 1-888-669-2323
or email: jesus@subgenius.com
PRABOB