Subject: ESO Blues Jam and the Mystery Guitarist

From: Legume <no-email@fuckthespammers.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Mon, Sep 30, 2002 8:21 AM

Well, goddamn, I had a fun weekend.

I was out to Brushwood this weekend, for "Thing in the Woods" and had me a
HELLA fun time. The days were beautiful, the nights cold, the wimmins
purty, and the Tequila strong.

But the high point for me, beyond sharing the hot tub with a beautiful
olive-skinned 18-year-old gal with a perfect and unblemished body that I
would have LOVED to make into a rug, was the first-ever ESO Improv Blues
Jam.

Chas, Bob, Raven, and I started out just jamming to some 12-bar blues and
threw in a few C&W tunes, like "North to Alaska" and "Whispering Pines",
Raven and Bob drumming, Chas on his keyboards again...something I'm sure
all the ESO fans really missed. We jammed for about an hour while folks
danced around T-base...Stang and Princess Wei were there bouncing around
and grinning.

Then we took a dinner break, and had the most incredible dinner; baked
salmon with dill sauce, prime rib, portabella mushrooms stuffed with
spinach and seafood, a huge variety of salads and other vegetables, stuffed
baked potatoes, man, every dish we ate seemed more delectable than the
last. Dinner ended with a huge cake brought out as we all sang "Happy
Birthday" to Chas.

Later, after a nice long set-a-spell and a bunch of frappy rockets at T-
base, we decided to start jamming some more. Earlier, we had no guitarist
to jam with us...actually, we DID have a couple of guitarists, but no
GUITARS. But when I got onstage, there was some guy I'd never seen before
setting up this huge amplifier for his guitar.

So, we started jamming, Bob on his electronic drum kit, Chas on Keyboards
again, Ed Strange on Chas' bass guitar, me on harmonica, and the Unknown
Guitar Player on his Unknown Guitar.

We jammed for awhile, and It was a blast.

Chas sometimes likes to joke with the audience and pretend he's going to
play "Freebird", but he never does. We started goofing around, and next
thing we knew, we actually WERE playing Freebird...and that's when things
got really weird, at least for me. We'd gotten through the nice slow part
of the song, and hit the part where it speeds up, and suddenly, this
Unknown Guitarist launches into an amazing and flawless guitar explosion
that sounded like the Ghost of Van Zandt snatched his ass up and took over.
I just stood there with my jaw agape as this guy played that guitar hard
enough to melt the goddamn strings. He was absolutely fucking amazing. The
audience was in about the same state as I was, just bug-eyed at this guy's
amazing playing.

After the show, Chas told Stang that after all those years of goofing
around, he's NEVER even TRIED to play Freebird. Heh, neither did I.

But we smoked the SHIT out of it Saturday night.

Stang, I hope your audio tape came out good...I'll be looking in my mailbox
for a CD (hint).
--
Legume
----------
"I have been thinking about sitting down with Crazy Acid Burnout Man and
having a serious talk with him." - Ivan Stang

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: ESO Blues Jam and the Mystery Guitarist
From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>

Legume wrote:

> Well, goddamn, I had a fun weekend.

Yes indeed, it was GREAT to hear Chas go at it on keyboards again for
awhile. Eventually he'll get this bass thing out of his system and go
back to what he's a born super-genius at.

While Chas was playing solo and singing various old hillbilly ditties,
I kept looking around at the miniature town he had built out of planks,
and thinking that the scene looked just like a damn Wild West Saloon...
Chas fits the PERFECT "Wild West Saloon Piano Player" stereotype, and I
wonder if like many of us he wasn't born 100 years too late (or too
soon as the case may be).

I haven't unpacked but I think I got some kind of recording of the last
half of Freebird and the bulk of the long Mystery Jam which followed
some time later, when the Mystery Guitarist really cut loose and
sounded like Joe Satriani.

I THOUGHT I was taping Freebird from the beginning, but about halfway
through, I double-checked and the damn thing was still on pause.
Unfortunately the guitar player for that other band that was there was
a huge SubGenius FAN (not a member or participant) and wanted to tell
me so loudly, so if I HAD been recording the first half of Freebird it
would have been tragically marred by this well meaning fellow's
compliments.

Normally, when I use the borrowed video camera as an audio recorder, I
have it sitting on a tripod so that I can move away from it when
somebody wants to talk to me. In this case I ended up setting the
camera down on one of those folding chairs so I could lead jolly
conversationalists away from it.

I have a decent donated cassette recorder, in fact a GREAT one, but
until I can get my house-painting paid for I am stuck with the one old
microphone that I use for Hour or Slack. The video camera's teeny litle
stereo mikes are actually somewhat better. It's just that transfering
the audio over to computer and then back to CD ends up being a bit of a
hassle.

I talked to that guitarist at length. He's a Brushwood semi-regular
though not a pagan. He's more of a survivalist. He mentioned having
just bought an AK-47 and we discussed gun laws. He said he doesn't
believe in the pagan stuff but he "still believes in the collapse of
society." Chas swapped digits with him. He plays in numerous bands, a
lot of them country type bands.

No SHIT, that sumbitch was a very talented guitarist.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: ESO Blues Jam and the Mystery Guitarist
From: Legume <no-email@fuckthespammers.com>

"Rev. Ivan Stang" wrote:

> Yes indeed, it was GREAT to hear Chas go at it on keyboards again for
> awhile. Eventually he'll get this bass thing out of his system and go
> back to what he's a born super-genius at.

I guess on keyboards he can't use those gestures where he wields the bass
at female audience members like a big electric phallus.

> While Chas was playing solo and singing various old hillbilly ditties,
> I kept looking around at the miniature town he had built out of
> planks, and thinking that the scene looked just like a damn Wild West
> Saloon... Chas fits the PERFECT "Wild West Saloon Piano Player"
> stereotype, and I wonder if like many of us he wasn't born 100 years
> too late (or too soon as the case may be).

Hell, that whole place is Cowboy Town. Didn't you notice how many guys in
there wore Stetsons?

> I THOUGHT I was taping Freebird from the beginning, but about halfway
> through, I double-checked and the damn thing was still on pause.
> Unfortunately the guitar player for that other band that was there was
> a huge SubGenius FAN (not a member or participant) and wanted to tell
> me so loudly, so if I HAD been recording the first half of Freebird it
> would have been tragically marred by this well meaning fellow's
> compliments.

One way or another, NHEEGHEE always gets the best tapes.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: ESO Blues Jam and the Mystery Guitarist
From: bobdiddley@aol.com (Bobdiddley)

>Normally, when I use the borrowed video camera as an audio recorder, I
>have it sitting on a tripod so that I can move away from it when
>somebody wants to talk to me. In this case I ended up setting the
>camera down on one of those folding chairs so I could lead jolly
>conversationalists away from it.

You could take a signal directly off the mixing board into the line input on
the videocorder. That way, you'd get lots of vocal, unless the guitars & drums
were miked to some extent - I sometimes use a pressure zone microphone - used
to get them at Radio Shack for about $50 - they pick up everything around,
equally - you could toss it on the stage, and record what the band hears.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: ATTN CHRIS LEE: Leela Pron, Legume Plays Gospel on A.B.S.
From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>

ATTN CHRIS LEE:

You may already have this stuff, but I posted a collection of Turanga
Leela pornography (soft-core) on a.b.s.... found on
alt.binaries.multimedia.futurama.

ATTN: Legume:

I posted what I have of the freak ESO Freebird performance from Thing
in the Woods (and 2 gospel songs) and am mailing you a CD of all I
recorded.

The tripped-out jam that the Mystery Dude, Ed Strange and everybody did
later in the night sounds quite good, goes on for 15 minutes.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: ATTN CHRIS LEE: Leela Pron, Legume Plays Gospel on A.B.S.
From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>

Legume wrote:

> "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com> wrote in
> news:011020021016331627%stang@subgenius.com:
>> > ATTN: Legume:
> >
> > I posted what I have of the freak ESO Freebird performance from Thing
> > in the Woods (and 2 gospel songs) and am mailing you a CD of all I
> > recorded.
>
> Thanks, can't wait!
>
> It was great hanging with y'all out there (yet again), and I'm looking
> forward to doing it again next Spring/Summer, unless something good comes
> up in the Winter (and I can hustle up airfare from some generous SubG).

It looks like we will be doing something at The Beechland Ballroom
again, which is great, 'cause that's a well known gin joint in these
parts run by a righteous sister. She asked Chas about when we'd have
another devival there. I guess the beer moves well at our religious
services.

I just mailed your CD at the P.O. As a reward, I found inside my PO
box a LARGER box from The Gription Clench of NC, which contained a
PIONEER AO4 DVD BURNER and two Beastie Boys CDs, one of which I'm
listening to now. (I can see why Philo and Onan are into these guys.)
The instruction manual they enclosed for the DVD Burner had been
tweaked in such a way that every time it was supposed to say "Ao4
drive" it says "The Beastie Boys."

They indicated that this is Last year's Model and a clunky, slow 1X
doohickey compared to the upcoming 64x models. They promised that it
would drive me mad.

Still, GOD DAMN!! THAT is what I call a DONATION!!

When RevDr.Jack gave us a CD burner we suddenly were producing CDs.
When Rev. Kuchar gave us an 80 gig hard drive we started doing
animation again. NOW thanks to Gription Clench we have a DVD burner!!
*NYAH HAH HA!!!* The ARISE update beckons, for one thing.

Breaking that DVD burner in, and upgrading my whole system totally to
the Mac "Jaguar" system, is the week-long "TREAT" I will reward myself
with when I get this SuBSITE shit done (which was itself the reward for
getting that last chore done, whatever it was). But before I do ANY of
that, I'm going to go out on a date with Princess Wei R. Doe right here
in my own house.

I am the second luckiest guy ever! "Bob" is luckier because he didn't
have to pay any dues.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: ATTN CHRIS LEE: Leela Pron, Legume Plays Gospel on A.B.S.
From: Legume <no-email@fuckthespammers.com>

"Rev. Ivan Stang" wrote:

> It looks like we will be doing something at The Beechland Ballroom
> again, which is great, 'cause that's a well known gin joint in these
> parts run by a righteous sister. She asked Chas about when we'd have
> another devival there. I guess the beer moves well at our religious
> services.

Hmmm...now I need a "sponsor".

> I just mailed your CD at the P.O. As a reward, I found inside my PO
> box a LARGER box from The Gription Clench of NC, which contained a
> PIONEER AO4 DVD BURNER and two Beastie Boys CDs.
> Still, GOD DAMN!! THAT is what I call a DONATION!!

It's amazing how that karmic wheel goes round and round. I stopped for
breakfast at the Sherman Hotel, and there was this INCREDIBLY CUTE "country
girl" waitress there, who had that perfect combination of sweetness,
purtyness, and chubbiness to move the bloodflow doewn to "Little Ivan". She
mentioned that she was taking her little boy to the Apple Festival, and she
was so excited about it she was fit to bust. The simple pleasure of a
Norman Rockwellesque afternoon with her little boy was all this gal wanted.
When we left the restaurant, I went up to the register and gave that gal a
ten-dollar bill and said, "You and yer boy enjoy the Apple Festival".

We didn't hit ANY traffic all the way home, and it was still daylight when
I got there. Now there's some slack for ya.

> When RevDr.Jack gave us a CD burner we suddenly were producing CDs.
> When Rev. Kuchar gave us an 80 gig hard drive we started doing
> animation again. NOW thanks to Gription Clench we have a DVD burner!!
> *NYAH HAH HA!!!* The ARISE update beckons, for one thing.

Now if only that knock would come at your door, and you found the generous,
not-insane rich guy with a gang of friendly frop-smoking SubGenius cops and
judges, and the deed to your massive new church.

> I am the second luckiest guy ever! "Bob" is luckier because he didn't
> have to pay any dues.

It's true. We should band together and form the "Lucky Motherfuckers
Clench".

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Original file name: ESO Blues Jam and the Mystery E - converted on Monday, 21 July 2003, 13:41