Subject: London Devival Report
Date: Tue, 16 Apr 2002 18:15:31 +0000
Like a tempest of slack blowing out of the east we arrived in London, myself and two potential initiate/suckers. They had heard the good news of Bob, but had not taken that foolish, final step and paid up. We made it through customs surprisingly fast, though there were the ever watching >=glorp" eyes everywhere. No baggage to pick up we only had carry on and Stanstead airport isn't the kind of place one wants to socialize.
Slackly, within minutes of arrival, we were on the first train to Liverpool Street station to meet Rev. Priest, one of London's most notorious Yetis. We stood around the entrance of the Metro, like he told us, waiting for the hairy, beast to emerge from the bowels of London's underground. Then all of a sudden there he was, just like in those films they shot in Northern California in the 70's. The Sasquatch of London, Rev. Priest.
The ConSpiracy was onto us, for we were pressed for TIME to get to the WORLD END PUB in Camden before the pinks cut off the alcohol at 11:00pm. In this respect, England hasn't come into the 21st century, and that's a hard pint to swallow since where I live in Hamburg the pubs are open 24/7/365, no joke.
We arrived in at the World End Pub Camden http://www.foundationgroup.co.uk/pubs/worldsend/worldsend.htm
got us pints and a corner of slack. Then one by one they started to trickle in Mathew Williams, the St. of English Crop Circles, Rev, Plastic Mediator, and she was wearing the rubber Swiss Army Bra JUST LIKE SHE PROMISED!! Then there was the infamous Rev. Nobby Styles, the newest of the Euro SubGenius crew , The Godfather of Slack Rev Slitta from Italy was even there. THINGS were starting to happen.
We drank, we we made merry, we made SLÄCK,, ! Then we moseyed over to Matthew's red space van. This van was actually a sort of time control device. We didn't >=drive" there as much as we were >=transported". None of us had a watch on so we couldn't compare this to some sort of time warp, but indeed it was warped. We piled out to the van and went to the MOST EXPENSIVE DISCO IVE EVER BEEN TO!!! It cost 7 pounds ($10) to get in and a can of cheap beer was 3 pounds ($5). Most people go to Mexico on vacation because is 50% cheaper. Like idiots we went to England where it's 150% more expensive. In any case we had a blast. I was very greatful to be the follower this time ínstead of the followee.
After that gig we all went back and crashed like good little yetis and overmen so we could be up bright and early the next day and go strait to the pub. By 2:00pm the next day we were already drinking beer. PRAISE ST.OTIS!!!! After two plates of some of the worst slop I've ever shoved in my gob, we headed over to the Fortean Times UnConvention http://www.forteantimes.com/
At the door they wanted to charge us &17.50 to get in. I asked >=how much discount do I get with my Church of the Subgenius ministers card" and the price for all of us went down to 5 pounds. Ahhhh, YETI mind tricks!!! Praise Bob!
This was an extremely SubGenius event. Lots of UFO people, telepathy nuts, big foot/yeti experts, clairvoyants etc. I even managed to find a booth that was selling copies of the book of the SubGenius and Revelation X. A true sign that Bob had something to do with this event. There was one guy who was signing his new UFO book, his name I did not get, but he came up to me, saw the Bob head on the back of my shirt and said, >=ITS BOB!! I'm in the church of the SubGenius, I used to get the Stark Fist of Removal, then I never heard anything from the Church again (typical).". This guy was about 60 or so, definitely one of the church elders. He wanted to take a picture of the Bob head I had so I let him. We invited him to the Devival that we were going to have at the Intrepid Fox Pub, but he had other plans. For a Subgenius preacher not to be able to make it to a Devival, obviously he was going to go get laid, sort of like Philo did in Amsterdam.
After the UnConvention, IT WAS TIME$$$$ It was time for the big event, The Emergency PreXday Devival. That is why we had come so far. We needed to stick our EuroSub heads together and prepare for Xday. We went over to the Intrepid Fox , went strait to the bar and ordered beer. It was a pinnacle for the EuroSubgenii, showing we could stand on our own feet, independent of Dallas(now Austin) and fall back over in a drunken stupor. Most of the EuroSub heavy weights were there, Rev Carl X, Rev Notaw, The Pope of all Southern England Rev. Mickey Finn, Rev Plastic Mediator. We all went upstairs to were the Devival was to take place and took our positions. we after about an hour when everyone was there we asked the DJ to turn down the music to rant. HE REFUSED!!! 80% of the people who were in the bar didn't even wan to hear what he was playing and was with US. Even after SEVERAL of us ganged up on him, and begged him to turn the music down for 15 minutes he refused. As a last resort I collected 60 pounds ($80) so he would cut the music down for 15 minutes. He told me to >=take the money and stick it up my arse I ain't cuttin down the music". THE FOOL, he could have paid his SubGenius membership fee almost THREE TIMES over for this amount of money and the PINK BOY TURNED us down (the blond fool in the cage is the pinkboy http://freehost05.websamba.com/eurosubs/images/lon0402e.jpg ). We all decided that if they weren't going to dance to the tune of Bob WE'D EMPTY the place. That's exactly what we did. There was hardly anyone left there, because most of the people on the second floor who were there were Subgenius. On the curb, in front of the Intrepid Fox, we collectively CURSED the Intrepid Fox, and proclaimed it an UNCLEAN den of pinkness. May the Intrepid Fox Pub NEVER KNOW SLACK! Amen! Praise Bob!!!!
After that, we needed a place to carry out our devival. We ended up at Garlic and Shots Pub http://www.london-eating.co.uk/480.htm and indeed it was. The place reeked of garlic, but hey, the pope likes garlic. The beer even smelled of garlic. We went out into the garden, ranted, drank, ranted drank, and pissed of a table full of pinks who were >=not amused". PRAISE BOB!!
After the ranting we decided to change the venue again and the SubGenius posse ended up going different directions at this point, with most of us going to the Pickle http://www.picklepromotions.co.uk/index.htm This was a pretty decent >=House" club. Good music, nice looking pink slaves and yes, THE OTHER HALF!!!!
At about 7:00am we had had enough. Loads of beer, frop, other halves. We decided to head back to the house. NEVER made it. In the Metro, a young HUMAN female, chatted us up. Come to find out she had been at the same club we had. Her name was Kat and a nice one she was HERE KITTY KITTY!!! We went back to her place for frop, food and whiskey. HELL!!! I had been on a search for the HOLY chicken wings, hookers, cocaine, and vodka the whole time. My friend Yefet and I accepted. Surprisingly Rev. Slitta captured a photo of Kat, BEFORE WE had even met her!! She's wearing the black with the dog collar http://freehost05.websamba.com/eurosubs/images/lon04020032.jpg
We went back to her place, and primarily CRASHED for a while, ate some pizza and fropped. We hung around her place until about 3:00pm the next day until she had to go to work and then we met everyone else at 5:00pm at the Worlds End Pub. Come to find out Kat is a security guard at another club in London and had to work, but of course, invited us by. The place is called the Purple Turtle http://www.purpleturtlebar.com/homepage.html
This place was the best place we went to the whole trip!!!! Lots of nice Connyites, beer, it was FREE to get in, and strangely enough we found out about the place from an English Disco Princess named Kat we met on the Metro. Praise Bob!! The place had a GREAT atmosphere. Too bad it closed early and we had to leave at 5:00am to go back to Dobbsburg (Hamburg). We headed back to Rev. Priest's house. The master of Slack on this trip. Ordered pizza, listened to music and watched, "The Ministry of Truthso/oo
http://www.minitru.org/helle/
Doktor Armand Geddyn
Doktor "Malibu" Barbie Geddyn
Super Fury Animals video "Run Christian Runo/oo. This one will go down as a SubGenius masterpiece.
The 20 hour odyssey of missing our flight (which would have been all of 1:15) because the train stopped in the middle of the tracks at 5:00am and getting stuck at Stanstead Airport for 8 hours and having to fly to Denmark and take a train through the outback of Scandinavia just to get back to DOBBSBURG Germany story I'll spare you. PRAISE BOB! HAIL CONNIE AND ST.OTIS CAMPBELL PROTECT ME!!!!
For more photos check out: http://www.websamba.com/eurosubs/london0402.html
Praise BOB, Slack,
Pope David Lee Black
Original file name: London Devival Repor.txt - converted on Thursday, 29 May 2003, 16:43
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