From: iDRMRSR <alex.i.thymia@depression.org>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Sun, Apr 21, 2002 10:27 PM
Pra'Bob, what a rockin' weekend for a miserable old
fart my age. This
may take me a while to write, becuz I just got to my
West Side fortress
of solitude, and as no one was here, the furnace has
not been on.
Fingers are stiff from the cold. We'll not fault the
owner here for
being forgetful...it was 75 degrees when I left Friday
night, but today
it just about broke freezing (when it wasn't raining).
I was so rapt with anticipation, I could not contain
myself Friday, so
(lazy fuck that I am) I started driving Indywise right
after an
invigorating day in the cube farm. Somewhere around
9:30 I pulled off
near the Wright Patterson AFB, to be close to the aliens,
where I slept
the night in all the splendor a chain motel could muster.
On the way to
Indy the next day, I stopped at one of the largest antique
malls in the
world for some pointed browsing. Nearly bought a Nazi
Swastika hatpin
($45) but that was a little too much for a visual joke,
and I have to
consider what might happen to me if I was caught on
our East side with
that thing. Same for the darkie-melon S&P shakers
I passed up.
I crossed the state line and discovered that I really
did have TIME
CONTROL. All of a sudden it was an hour earlier. Praise
Bob the
Hoosiers eschew Daylight Saving Time. I used my extra
hour to drive on
Route 40, a genuine Blue Highway. Goes through some
really fascinating
Indiana attractions, like the Birthplace of James Whitcomb
Riley, the
Hoosier Poet. I would refresh everybody's memory by
mentioning the
FAMOUS poems he wrote, but hell, even that wouldn't
help ("The olde
Swimming Hole?").
Just outside his birth town is another wonder of the
world, the Indiana
State Poo Museum. I'm surprised you don't hear too
much about this
attraction. Especially the giant Wheel of Poo in the
great exhibit
hall...but...I digress.
Indianapolis, to me, and there is no value judgement
in this statement
at all (or kill me), looks like Pittsburgh flattened
out. Or, perhaps,
Cleveland without a lake. This has one major advantage,
you can see
everything you need to navigate to as long as it's above
the horizon.
I had forgotten which hotel I reserved, so I had to
call Yahoo and beg
them to tell me the name. Heh, heh, this was actually
a ruse because I
lined up such a good Senior Citizen rate. I would be
EXPECTED to forget
the name of the hotel. Which was, in fact the Omni.
Very ritzy. I
asked them how they could afford to sell a $300 room
to an elder so
cheap on weekends. They told me, go figure. It's far
cheaper to
launder pee stains out of the bedsheets than CUM stains.
I guess.
I needed somewhere to eat, and since I was in such a
religious FRENZY, I
headed for the St. Elmo's Steak House, which had been
there since 1902,
a few years before I was born. And it was indeed a
solemn ritual
religious meal, because when I got the bill, I remember
thinking HOLY
SHIT! The Prices!
But I was not in a corner-cutting mood, and it was perhaps
one of the
best steaks ever to pass through me.
From there, on to the venue. Indy is very carefully
laid out as a
city. First they built the buildings, then they observed
which places
people would actually GO. Then they made all the streets
ONE WAY going
the WRONG WAY. I swear the north bound one way streets
and the south
bound one way streets actually meet mid block (think
about that, no
traffic). I spent an hour driving around with goddamn
Fountain Square
in my rear view mirror before I found an alley. Whew.
The Devival itself was pure magic. Chris Lee was major
domo-ing and
passing out communion wafers and dip. Pope Fred did
the MC stuff. And
there was a (well, to me) surprise visit from Sister
Decadence and Dr.
Frop. Sister Decadence is just so beautiful in person,
I think she's a
SubG treasure. Describing her as STATUESQUE is an understatement
pretty
much like saying 9/11 was "regrettable".
Describing her as ZAUFTIG is
an understatement pretty much like saying Einstein was
a pretty smart
fellow. If she would ever agree to get cloned, I'd
like to sign up to
check out the first edition, even if it came out half
baked or
something. She's got tatoos on places that most other
less developed
women don't even HAVE. She's got more CONNIE in her
little finger than
in all the Spice Girls combined. SHe..mza;lkdgkla
Oh excuse me there, my tongue dropped out to the keyboard
and got
tangled with my fingers. Now where was I...oh yes,
the Devival.
I shall always remember this devival as the ONE WITH
TITS! Thanks to
Crimson Mane for putting on an excellent show of B&D
performed upon
mostly nekkid women. There were Saran Wrappings, gas
masks,
flagellation. Even setting the back afire. I remember
thinking to
myself as a hulking huge biker sized guy was whipping
this girl chained
to a cross, DAMN, I drove 300 miles for THIS!!! What
a planet. What a
church.
Stang delivered his masterful Ivangelical rants, and
Papa Joe Mama
delivered his fantastic holocaustal rant, while SubGenius
Shorts played
on the three TV's over the bar. The Slack was overflowing!
It's a good
thing there was so MUCH slack, because the crowd was
really big. Saint
N and Helena eventually got on after a brief confrontation
with the
sound guy, who had silenced her mike. But then damn
it, TIME CONTROL
set in and my decrepit old body began to tell me that
I better fucking
well pay that extra hour back. So dammit, I had to
leave, because I had
to have enough waking brainpower left to navigate the
labrynth of one
way streets back to the Omni. I hope I didn't miss
much.
One thing I did miss on the way back to the hotel was
one key ONE WAY
sign. Like most cities, there aren't any cops actually
on duty at 1 AM
Saturday night in the downtown area, and darn little
traffic. So I
toodled down the wrong way and actually found my fucking
hotel with only
a couple of assholes blinking their lights at me. Fuck
them, I say, if
they can't take a JOKE! Look at my license plate, and
you'll know I
come from a land of no one-way streets.
Now to be perfectly fair, I've been a little rough on
Indiana. I drove
the country routes back home to Cleveland, and on the
way back in Ohio,
there is actually this big farm that has a sign out
front...DULL FAMILY
FARM. And just outside of Delaware, Ohio, there is
actually a SLACK
ROAD. Yes, Bob is telling me, I found the road to SLACK
this weekend.
Muchas Gracias to the Hoosier branch of this cult for
the excellent show
and choice of venue, and if there's to be another there,
I'll come back
for sure. And here's a tempting offer. One of the
antique malls
actually had a top hat and hat box from the original
DOBBS HAT company
of NYC. I'll buy it (if it's still there) and wear
it to the next
IndyVival. Just tell me when...
[*]
-----
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: deja@atheos.net (Niles Ingalls)
I had been looking forward to this Devival for quite
some time,
and I must say. uuhhhh, EXCELLENT!
The Radio Radio bar was simply a great location for
this event, and
although I DIDN'T KNOW ONE GOD-DAMN SOUL THERE, I had
a fucking blast.
Come back to Indy soon!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: md_archangel@hotmail.com (mykal d'archangel)
On 22 Apr 2002 14:48:52 -0700, deja@atheos.net (Niles
Ingalls)
wrote:
Glad ya liked it. We here at Quijibo absolutely love
Radio Radio.
Clean bathrooms, tasteful paint job, friendly staff
and off the
beaten path enough that idjits don't generally wander
in off the
streets.
Although we had a few Sorority types from the club next
door
attempt to crash the gate. We sent our Scary Doorman
after them
and reminded them that they had to PAY for the privledge
of ebing
among such elite company.
st m d'a
-------------------
http://www.indyvival.com
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Christopher Lee <clbundy@indy.net>
iDRMRSR wrote:
> I crossed the state line and discovered that I
really did have TIME
> CONTROL. All of a sudden it was an hour earlier.
Praise Bob the
> Hoosiers eschew Daylight Saving Time.
One of the advantages of a Indiana devival. Between
the savings time and
that planetary alignment, we was in some sort of shadow
time.
> I used my extra hour to drive on Route 40, a genuine Blue Highway.
Sounds like you drove right past the Secret Quijibo Hideout!
> Goes through some really fascinating Indiana attractions,
like the
> Birthplace of James Whitcomb Riley, the Hoosier
Poet. I would refresh
> everybody's memory by mentioning the
> FAMOUS poems he wrote, but hell, even that wouldn't
help ("The olde
> Swimming Hole?").
That and "Little Orphan Annie". Maybe next
time we'll have the devival
during Greenfield's "Riley Days", just for
kicks.
> The Devival itself was pure magic. Chris Lee was
major domo-ing and
> passing out communion wafers and dip.
I really like that. I like the word majordomo. I never
thought that's what
I was doing, but on relection, maybe so, and it works
for me.
> I shall always remember this devival as the ONE WITH TITS!
ME TOO! This is the best endorsement we've had to date!
> Thanks to Crimson Mane for putting on an excellent
show of B&D performed
> upon
> mostly nekkid women. There were Saran Wrappings,
gas masks,
> flagellation. Even setting the back afire. I
remember thinking to myself
> as a hulking huge biker sized guy was whipping
this girl chained to a
> cross, DAMN, I drove 300 miles for THIS!!! What
a planet. What a church.
And how! I wasn't 100% certain what Crimson Mane's
act would consist of,
but golly! I've had a naysayer say they'd *heard* (not
seen themselves)
that the only complaint was that Crimson Mane's performance
was unoriginal
and uninspiring. And to this I say... when you've
got a Jesus lookalike
chained to a glowing red X, and then a hot, mostly topless
chickadee chained
to him, and then vigorously whipped (for only her second
time on stage)...
it's not really time to critique. Maybe you like your
devivals a little
tamer. Sorry we tried to introduce some b&d to
a devival, jackass. Like
there's something wrong with presenting Bondage and
Domination 101! We let
Stang get away with SubG 101 every single X-Day!!!
PISS ME OFF AGAIN AND
I'LL PUT A CIGARETTE OUT IN YOUR EYE! AND THEN LIGHT
ANOTHER ONE! or kill
me.
> Stang delivered his masterful Ivangelical rants,
and Papa Joe Mama
> delivered his fantastic holocaustal rant, while
SubGenius Shorts played
> on the three TV's over the bar.
I happened to look up as the brand new Dobbs Shortfilms
(and trust me, this
IS a good purchase) reached the rapid fire X-Day photos
slide show part- bam
bam bam bam one scary picture after another, and then
I realize i'm seeing
bright red peoples wrasslin, and i thought "this
is good"
> The Slack was overflowing! It's a good
> thing there was so MUCH slack, because the crowd
was really big. Saint
> N and Helena eventually got on after a brief confrontation
with the
> sound guy, who had silenced her mike.
Just a brief monitor problem.
> But then damn it, TIME CONTROL
> set in and my decrepit old body began to tell me
that I better fucking
> well pay that extra hour back. So dammit, I had
to leave, because I had
> to have enough waking brainpower left to navigate
the labrynth of one
> way streets back to the Omni. I hope I didn't
miss much.
Well, after a masterful set by Saint N and Hellena,
Stang and Wei presented
a brief little ditty, and we presented a dinosaur birthday
cake to Joy
D'Veeve, as she is one of our favorite Page Three Girls
(from Quijibo #21,
the most recent X-Day issue). Then we allowed the up
and coming preachers
to make a stab at their craft- Rev. Jacque Treatment,
and some sorta Pimp
Daddy Devil both spoke briefly...
> Muchas Gracias to the Hoosier branch of this cult
for the excellent show
> and choice of venue, and if there's to be another
there, I'll come back
> for sure. And here's a tempting offer. One of
the antique malls
> actually had a top hat and hat box from the original
DOBBS HAT company
> of NYC. I'll buy it (if it's still there) and
wear it to the next
> IndyVival. Just tell me when...
If I can ply the name of the antique mall out of you,
I'll race you to it!
I wore two different Dobbs Hats this weekend. (And
there's a swell picture
of Sister Decadance trying my favorite on in my absence!)
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Her Ladyship Lilith von Fraumench <lilith@ZubJenius.com>
In article <3CC78EB4.4A79CB9D@indy.net>, Christopher
Lee
<clbundy@indy.net> wrote:
> Sorry we tried to introduce some b&d to a devival,
jackass. Like
> there's something wrong with presenting Bondage
and Domination 101! We let
> Stang get away with SubG 101 every single X-Day!!!
PISS ME OFF AGAIN AND
> I'LL PUT A CIGARETTE OUT IN YOUR EYE! AND THEN
LIGHT ANOTHER ONE! or kill
> me.
Let me know when you Indiana boys are ready to have
B&D 401 and SubG
631 *at the same time*. I'll even cut my rates for ya,
how about that?
Her Ladyship Lilith
--
\m/ -=8=- http://lilith.foolspress.com/ -=8=- \m/
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Christopher Lee <clbundy@indy.net>
Her Ladyship Lilith von Fraumench wrote:
> Let me know when you Indiana boys are ready to
have B&D 401 and SubG
> 631 *at the same time*. I'll even cut my rates
for ya, how about that?
This is funny on so many levels.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Her Ladyship Lilith von Fraumench <lilith@ZubJenius.com>
In article <3CC8301F.948369A3@indy.net>, Christopher
Lee
<clbundy@indy.net> wrote:
> This is funny on so many levels.
Welcome to Multi-Level Theology! The more souls you
bring in, the more
slack you get!
Her Ladyship Lilith
--
\m/ -=8=- http://lilith.foolspress.com/ -=8=- \m/
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>
In article <250420020215413343%lilith@ZubJenius.com>,
Her Ladyship
Lilith von Fraumench <lilith@ZubJenius.com> wrote:
> Let me know when you Indiana boys are ready to
have B&D 401 and SubG
> 631 *at the same time*. I'll even cut my rates
for ya, how about that?
It might have been ME that somebody heard complaining
about the b&d
being "ho hum"... to ME. Believe it or not,
that sort of thing happened
at the Akron devivals of yore, albeit not so formally
presented. Also I
had seen very similar things at the Death Equinox con
in Denver a
couple of years ago, and for that matter it's done evry
week at plenty
of big city clubs.
But, just because I've been everywhere and seen everything
doesn't mean
that it's a bad idea for a devival. The impression I
got was that most
of the attendees had NOT seen b&d shows and were
plenty interested.
Certainly Crimson Mane put a lot more effort into it
than others I've
seen. That giant red cross of course made the whole
stage look much
better than it would have otherwise.
In fact, I'd say that was just about our best looking
stage since the
one we shot "Bob" on -- largely just because
the club itself is nice
and doesn't have a giant dingy horrible wall as a backdrop.
The guy who owned the place, Tony(?) -- he personally
set the lights
and aimed them at Blackout's Giant Metal Dobbshead and
at the various
Vreedeez designs on the banners, and that was a HUGE
help. That guy was
A-OKAY. Most club owners are MEAN.
Another thing about Crimson Mane was that they brought
their own
audience, and both audiences seemed to like both cults.
--
4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath
of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected (Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
P.O. Box 181417, Cleveland, OH 44118 (fax 216-320-9528)
A subsidiary of:
The SubGenius Foundation, Inc. / P.O. Box 204206, Austin,
TX 78720-4206
Dobbs-Approved Authorized Commercial Outreach of The
Church of the SubGenius
SubSITE: http://www.subgenius.com
For SubGenius Biz & Orders: call toll free to 1-888-669-2323
or email: jesus@subgenius.com
PRABOB
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