Subject: AKRON DEVIVAL and Post FEDCOMS Party report.

From: "Reverend Sinphaltimus Exmortus" <RevSExmortus@nyc.rr.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack,alt.binaries.slack
Date: Tue, Aug 13, 2002 4:09 PM
Message-ID: <HHd69.21360$Dn.3962408@twister.nyc.rr.com>

My brain is numb. My hearing is dulled, my thoughts are sullied, and I am
happy.

It all started on Saturday, the party, of whom the following people did in
deed grace me with their presence;

Sifu and the rev. Lady Diana, Jimbo, T.V., Anti-Pope Lupus, rev. Sean
Scrotum, Rev. Jen and Sister Heather, The Heretic, Rev. Elvis, Rev. Dr.
Humdinger (a.k.a. rev H-Bob), rev. Ellis Dee, Lettuce Baloney and Nicole,
Rev. SamHein Greystar and Sexy Lorraine, rev. Gonzo, Joe, Danny, and of
course MY WIFE! Yeah, she was a late bloomer, showed up some time after or
around Mid-Night and decided to drink Like I aint seen her drink in years.
And I didn't even get lucky with her! I was so partied out that
unconsciousness took me over at about 3:30am..maybe 4 or 4:30 I dunno.

Buit anywaze, Needless to say that the party went great, no neighbors
complained, not police showed up, no one died this time or got injured. It
was like my very own mini-brushwood.

TV was fantastic being TV, if I had to say it I would say it like this, let
there be no questions about it, as Connie as some of the Connie-ites are, I
have yet to meet a Connie-ite that is more SubGenius then this weird ass
television that no one can seem to find the remote for. The Dobbsian virus
is certainly well entrenched within the DNA structure of my good friend and
sister in Slack, TV.

The rest of you, thank you for making the party one of the best ones yet. I
hope to see most of you back here on the 31st as we have at least one more
big party coming up.

I'd like to thank all those who decided to take control of the FEDCOMS web
cam to entertain those of you who were tuned in from the internet. Sorry
about some of the broken signals and loss of communications but we handled
it well, getting right back on-line. And special thanks to ya'll who sat
there and watched, it was the next best thing to actually having you there.

Then it was pass out time and get up and go to Akron time which TV, Jimbo
and myself did exactly just that. We left FEDCOMS at 12:00noon, parked in
front of the lime spider at 9:30pm and they didn't start the Devival without
us! Just a few minutes after our arrival, the Devival began PRAISE BOB!

It was wonderful and the over flowing spooge of slack enlightened us as
usual but this time there will be a whole NEW batch of bumper stickers with
NEW quotes... I can see it now "Believe me out of it" J.R. Bob Dobbs - 2002
, Akron, OH. on the bumper of every car from here to X-Day 6.

Anywaze, I quickly began to consume alcohol as it was much needed, I can not
possibly go into details about what it's like to be in a small car with
Jimbo and TV for nearly 10 hours but it is definitely something I recommend
to ALL subgenii everywhere. So there I was drinking my 5 or 6th BUD when
Prostata Conatata enlightened me to Blimp City Beer, which I consumed for
the rest of the evening which might explain why I began to uncontrollably
slam my head into the table causing drinks to fly across the room.

It wasn't until I was Baptized in Beer for BOB by the Stinking Bishop
HIMSELF! that these spazmatick acts of uncontrollable head banging ceased to
happen. From that point on I was a slave to the musickal vibrations that
emanated out from those speaker things as Phloighd and Myself cleared the
supposed dance floor with our display of pure slackful spazmodicus rythmik
tribal dancing as only the true blooded yeti can perform. I was disappointed
to not see more bruthers and sistuhs partake in the orgy of sweat but then
again, it seemed a little dangerous. But with the sounds of Hellena
Handbasket, ESO and the AMINO ACIDS! Well Hell, how can one possibly control
themselves?

So after the devival it was up to us to get back to the mega-fist temple
lodge of Stang and Wei so what better way to do it then to actually follow
Stang there. HA! He tried his darndest but he could in no way shake us even
after he got lost, we continued to blindly follow where no New York of
FEDCOMS has ever gone before.

From that point on, my memory fails me. The next thing I remember is being
back in the car and on our way back to NYC.

I've had these marvelous dreams of fairies and gorillas having the bloodiest
wars ever, of video tapes and Macs and musickness everywhere the eye could
see, the bulldadda and toys and trinkets and beauty of everything that is
part of that holiest of holy sanctums.

I do in all humility thank the Rev. I. Stang and Princess Wei for showing us
the greatest hospitality that only a subgenius of his magnitude can. A good
nights sleep is the ultimate granting of slack, even if it was damn near
permanent. I knew I was lucky when I saw Stang come stumbling out of the 2nd
greatest room in the house and say, Damn, you guys are still alive?

And so it was yet another 9 hours back to NYC, and we had an extra
passenger. We were bringing Phloighd back east with us and we did it
virtually incident free. Although we did loose TV at some point in Ohio, but
quickly found her again and made our way back, trying not to stop for
anything anymore.

So here I am, 1/3rd of the way through a root canal and pretty damned tired,
looking to slack off the rest of the day, hating tomorrow (returning to
work) and thinking about the next party which I hope some of you will make
it to.

-- Signing Off...

Sincerely yours, forever Bob's,

The Reverend Sinphaltimus Exmortus
of the
First Ever Digital Church of Mind Slack
http://www.Digital-Church.com
A Totally Independent Clench of
The Church of the SubGenius
THE SUBGENIUS FOUNDATION
PO BOX 204206
AUSTIN, TX 78720-4206
Send $1 and S.A.S.E. for more info
or visit
www.subgenius.com
or email
RevSExmortus@nyc.rr.com
or die pink
or kill me
"Exterminate all rational thought" W.S.B.
16*2*!!

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Original file name: AKRON DEVIVAL and Po.txt - converted on Thursday, 29 May 2003, 16:43