Subject: SubGenius Inorcisms?

From: "nu-monet v5.0" <nothing@succeeds.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack,alt.friday
Reply-To: like.excess@sex.org
Date: Tue, Jan 21, 2003 11:40 AM

Well, since the CotSG offers "sickenings", I
think we should also have a detailed stage
ceremony (10-15 minutes) of an "Inorcism",
that is, the introduction of fresh demons
into a troubled SubGenius. Perhaps one that
is not entirely satisfied with his current
demons. Let's say replace his "guilt" demon
with "greed."

Or, just as likely, to give demons to some
cynical or skeptical SubGenius that is just
*soooo* cynical and skeptical that the demons
just don't want to hang out in them. I mean,
really, who wants to spend all day trying to
make somebody miserable who insists on
believing they are miserable due to "random
chance?"

The way I picture it, all a SubGenius Reverend
has to do is wave a Dobbshead in front of the
third nostril of a devivalist, and their third
nostril will open up. Then all the Reverend
would have to do is stick a demon up the other
guy's nose. Then the newly "demonized"
SubGenius gets to be all wicked and bad and
use bad words and shit.

**************

http://makeashorterlink.com/?Y2BF14123

NORWICH-- A Sprague woman who spent six years
seeking an exorcism because she was tormented
by "demons" plans to demonstrate in front of
the Norwich Diocese today to raise awareness
about the issue.

Ms. B., who asked not to be identified by name,
at one point was possessed by 19 demonic spirits
and spoke in "a tongue in which she is not
familiar" in a session with her psychiatrist,
according to mental and spiritual assessments
of her...

--
"Do not EVER watch a Rammstein video when
you are fried on Hawaiian mushrooms."
--take my word for it

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: friday@fridayjones.com (Friday Jones)

In article <3E2D7823.34EA@succeeds.com>, like.excess@sex.org wrote:

>Well, since the CotSG offers "sickenings", I
>think we should also have a detailed stage
>ceremony (10-15 minutes) of an "Inorcism",
>that is, the introduction of fresh demons
>into a troubled SubGenius. Perhaps one that
>is not entirely satisfied with his current
>demons. Let's say replace his "guilt" demon
>with "greed."
>
>Or, just as likely, to give demons to some
>cynical or skeptical SubGenius that is just
>*soooo* cynical and skeptical that the demons
>just don't want to hang out in them. I mean,
>really, who wants to spend all day trying to
>make somebody miserable who insists on
>believing they are miserable due to "random
>chance?"
>
>The way I picture it, all a SubGenius Reverend
>has to do is wave a Dobbshead in front of the
>third nostril of a devivalist, and their third
>nostril will open up. Then all the Reverend
>would have to do is stick a demon up the other
>guy's nose. Then the newly "demonized"
>SubGenius gets to be all wicked and bad and
>use bad words and shit.

I'll take the demon of Immoderate Accomplishments for $200, please.

Laziness is a lot like efficiency. In fact, laziness usually creates efficiency.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "nu-monet v5.0" <nothing@succeeds.com>

Friday Jones wrote:
>
> I'll take the demon of Immoderate
> Accomplishments for $200, please.

Well, now that you mention it, demons *can* be
like attending an audit course at a community
college. Some of the better demons teach the
forbidden arts of history, poli sci, rhetoric,
cosmetology and cosmology, herbal medicine and
prolly creative writing.

And, of course, you just *know* that demons
have to be involved if you've ever taken basic
accounting or one of those "How to use MS Word"
courses.

I figure also that some of the older demons
have prolly updated their resume, like that one
whose only job was to make trees fall on people.
Nowadays, he prolly works in the legal department
of International Paper and makes subpoenas fall
on environmentalists.

One of my faves has to be the demon Sytry. A
demon whose entire mileiu is to convince women
to take of their clothes and dance naked in
public. Can you imagine what he would be like
after a THOUSAND years of doing that? Picture
a REALLY bitchy Bob Fosse. "Now, now girls!
And-a ONE, and-a TWO, and-a, NOW JUST A MINUTE!
Number 27, thank you very much; we'll call you.
Okay, from the top!"

--
Rev. nu-monet
High Priest
Church of Kali (Reformed)

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>

>
> The way I picture it, all a SubGenius Reverend
> has to do is wave a Dobbshead in front of the
> third nostril of a devivalist, and their third
> nostril will open up. Then all the Reverend
> would have to do is stick a demon up the other
> guy's nose. Then the newly "demonized"
> SubGenius gets to be all wicked and bad and
> use bad words and shit.
>

This is a good idea actually for off the cuff audience participation
stage antics... gives the locals something to do at the big show. Good
way to channel the extra spazz-energy... the attention-seeking
first-time devival attendee gets to spazz out on stage and is less
likely to steal any of the probs as an act of "High Unpredictability."
Might even see people come up with some really funny shit that way.

And lord knows the demons won't mind.

Incorcisms... Grey Side of the Force... He Got Triple His Money back...
you'll see, I really will use the hell out of these. They're very
Sloganific. I mean that nonsarcastically.

--
4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected (Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
P.O. Box 181417, Cleveland, OH 44118 (fax 216-320-9528)
A subsidiary of:
The SubGenius Foundation, Inc. / P.O. Box 204206, Austin, TX 78720-4206
Dobbs-Approved Authorized Commercial Outreach of The Church of the SubGenius
SubSITE: http://www.subgenius.com
For SubGenius Biz & Orders: call toll free to 1-888-669-2323
or email: jesus@subgenius.com
PRABOB

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Original file name: SubGenius Inorcisms_.txt - converted on Thursday, 29 May 2003, 16:37