GENERIC ALT.SLACK TROLL LIST

From: hellpopehuey@subgenius.com (HellPopeHuey)
Newsgroups: alt.slack,alt.tasteless
Date: Fri, Apr 11, 2003 4:02 PM

I question the nature of your sexuality.

Your choice(s) of (Political or sports figure/pop star/religious
leader/films/books/belief systems) are laughable and evidence an
inferior intellect, as well as a dearth of taste.

Your physical features are comical to me.

Your mother's breasts/genitalia are substandard.

I am Bob Dobbs.

You have no tits anyway.

You/your family/"Bob" is/are stupid.

Stang has no ass.

I am superior to you.

I am superior to you because I make pie and you make flatus.

As a woman, I express contempt for your lack of virility & reiterate
my inherent superiority based on vague gender-based variables, as well
as my tits, ass & sexual capacity.

I hereby compare you to excement.

I hereby compare you to another poster who is only slightly less like
excrement than you.

I suggest that you commit an act of spatchcock upon your own person.

"The Simpsons" and/or "Futurama" do/do (does/does not) not suck.

You are obviously an example of offspring resulting from the
unnatural cojoining of (animal/close family member/comical inanimate
object/excrement) and (animal/close family member/comical inanimate
object/excrement).

I feel certain you will be found dead, face-down in (animal/close
family member/comical inanimate object/excrement/revolting location or
material other than excrement) due to your severe lack of or excess in
(random quality).

You have the diminished intellectual capacity of (animal/close family
member/comical inanimate object/excrement).

You french poodles.

You are less interesting than the results of clicking on this URL,
which features a huge file of an animation depicting the Three Stooges
or cast members of The Simpsons engaging in various sexual acts with
(animal/close family member/comical inanimate object/excrement) or a
blurry Photoshopped-in portrait of yourself cribbed from a Devival.

You compare poorly with some aspect of Janor.

I am Fartacus.

No, *I* and Fartacus and you're not.

So what's it like, having sexual congress with a hamster?

You posted something truly funny, intelligent and/or otherwise
engaging, yet I still spit on your personage insofar as I can define
it via mere text, because offering in return a genuine commentary is
less amusing to me than making yet another denigrating comparison
between yourself and (animal/close family member/comical inanimate
object/excrement/other poster whom I rate at a similar level with
excrement/Janor).

Something so surreal it defies comment, but still yields a few jabs
from some faux Fartacus.

"Bob" loves me better'n you.

Anything at all said to Nenslo.

Anything at all said to iceknife.

Anything at all said to damned near anyone.

I once again belittle your sexuality, even though I myself am
suspected of bestiality, child diddling, diesel-powered homosexuality
or lesbianism, fellation of fruit and/or unDobbsly Christian fidelity
to one partner.

Exactly.

What the bleep is this Church of the SubGenius stuff anyway? It sure
looks stupid to me.

--

HellPope Huey® hellpopehuey@subgenius©.com
Klaatu barada inflagrante delicto

"I've snapped and plotted all my life...
...there's no other way to be alive, a king and 50 all at
once."
- "The Lion In Winter"

"I think he told us to f**k ourselves!"
"Dude, how is that gonna help?"
- "South Park"

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Dunter Powries" <fech.redcap@spedlins>

I feel like I just got off the phone with my mother.

Dunter

--
"That's funny. But not 'ha ha' funny."
-Ralph Wiggum

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>

In article <8cc8cffc.0304111202.2995f0be@posting.google.com>,
HellPopeHuey <hellpopehuey@subgenius.com> wrote:

> ((TROLL HOW-TO))

Let this be engraved on the bellies of all who enter here.

--
4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected (Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
P.O. Box 181417, Cleveland, OH 44118 (fax 216-320-9528)
A subsidiary of:
The SubGenius Foundation, Inc. / P.O. Box 204206, Austin, TX 78720-4206
Dobbs-Approved Authorized Commercial Outreach of The Church of the SubGenius
SubSITE: http://www.subgenius.com
For SubGenius Biz & Orders: call toll free to 1-888-669-2323
or email: jesus@subgenius.com
PRABOB

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: GENERIC ALT.SLACK TROLL LIST
From: zosodada@aol.com (Zosodada)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Fri, Apr 11, 2003 5:16 PM

Yeah -- that was a keeper. I printed out 100 copies. I'm going to work myself
up into a Sapphic sex frenzy, cover myself in mayonaise and roll around in the
hardcopy in homage to love Goddess Huey.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: hellpopehuey@subgenius.com (HellPopeHuey)

zosodada@aol.com (Zosodada) wrote in message ...

> Yeah -- that was a keeper. I printed out 100 copies. I'm going to work myself
> up into a Sapphic sex frenzy, cover myself in mayonaise and roll around in the
> hardcopy in homage to love Goddess Huey.

Well that's no way to get yer nut. Come on over t'the house and I'll
massage your love nugget with one of my magnificent nipples. No point
in completely wasting all that mayo.

--

HellPope Huey® hellpopehuey@subgenius©.com
Klaatu barada inflagrante delicto

"I've snapped and plotted all my life...
...there's no other way to be alive, a king and 50 all at
once."
- "The Lion In Winter"

"I think he told us to f**k ourselves!"
"Dude, how is that gonna help?"
- "South Park"

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Joe Cosby <joecosby@SPAMBLOCKmindspring.com>

On Fri, 11 Apr 2003 16:55:10 -0400, "Rev. Ivan Stang"
<stang@subgenius.com> wrote:

>
>> ((TROLL HOW-TO))
>
>
>Let this be engraved on the bellies of all who enter here.

And vice-versa.

--
Joe Cosby
http://joecosby.home.mindspring.com

How do you exec a bash script if it's in a jar?

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Joe Cosby <joecosby@SPAMBLOCKmindspring.com>

On Fri, 11 Apr 2003 23:00:02 +0200, "Frederick A. W. Pasternack"
<shitface@nofuckinghope.sex> wrote:

>
>I feel like I just fucked your Mother......Oh, that was *you* on the
>'phone???
>Oh well, too bad. I accidentally blew my load in her ass. I'd intended to
>shoot it all over her back teeth but the goddam 'phone distracted me.

People who actually use the apostrophe for the word "phone" should be
beaten.

--
Joe Cosby
http://joecosby.home.mindspring.com

Did you bring enough nuclear weapons for THE WHOLE CLASS, Johnny?

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "nu-monet v5.0" <nothing@succeeds.com>

Just curious, is that a generally inclusive
list or the progression of each individual
thread?

--
"I'm not helping the tortoise."
--ICEKNIFE

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: hellpopehuey@subgenius.com (HellPopeHuey)

"nu-monet v5.0" <nothing@succeeds.com> wrote in message news:<3E9731FD.4C5D@succeeds.com>...

> Just curious, is that a generally inclusive
> list or the progression of each individual
> thread?

In space, no one can hear you pee over a Nu-Monet post.

"I've snapped and plotted all my life...
...there's no other way to be alive, a king and 50 all at once."
- "The Lion In Winter"

"I think he told us to f**k ourselves!"
"Dude, how is that gonna help?"
- "South Park"

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Joe Cosby <joecosby@SPAMBLOCKmindspring.com>

On 11 Apr 2003 13:02:55 -0700, hellpopehuey@subgenius.com
(HellPopeHuey) wrote:

> Stang has no ass.
>

This is not, strictly speaking, a troll.

> I am superior to you.
>
> I am superior to you because I make pie and you make flatus.
>
> As a woman, I express contempt for your lack of virility & reiterate
>my inherent superiority based on vague gender-based variables, as well
>as my tits, ass & sexual capacity.
>
> I hereby compare you to excement.
>

I hereby encourage you to excrement.

> I hereby compare you to another poster who is only slightly less like
>excrement than you.
>
> I suggest that you commit an act of spatchcock upon your own person.
>

But I left my spoon at home.

--
Joe Cosby
http://joecosby.home.mindspring.com

"La Cucaracha, la Cucaracha,
Ya no puede caminar,
Porque no tiene, porque le falta,
Marijuana que fumar."

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: hellpopehuey@subgenius.com (HellPopeHuey)

Joe Cosby <joecosby@SPAMBLOCKmindspring.com> wrote in message news:<qage9v0bq97ehbbk8gdjmucdprtga26bba@4ax.com>...
> On 11 Apr 2003 13:02:55 -0700, hellpopehuey@subgenius.com
> (HellPopeHuey) wrote:
>
> > Stang has no ass.
> >
> > This is not, strictly speaking, a troll.

That depends on how protective you are about Stang's ass. Some of us
would fight mightily to keep it safe from the wrong KIND of attention.
Not me, I will only defend him up to the knees, but hey, there are far
worse things upon which to focus, such as alt.eunuchs.

"I've snapped and plotted all my life...
...there's no other way to be alive, a king and 50 all at
once."
- "The Lion In Winter"

"I think he told us to f**k ourselves!"
"Dude, how is that gonna help?"
- "South Park"

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: GENERIC ALT.SLACK TROLL LIST
From: "Artemia Salina" <y2k@sheayright.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack,alt.tasteless
Date: Fri, Apr 11, 2003 8:04 PM

You forgot one.

Heh heh heh heh heh.

--
You look like a FOOL in that SUV.

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Original file name: GENERIC ALT.SLACK TR.txt - converted on Thursday, 29 May 2003, 16:37