From: "Rev. Ivan Stang"
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Fri, Jan 4, 2002
In article <129b702.0201041046.4ec4995e@posting.google.com>, Rev.
Crawford
>
> I didn't know whether to laugh or cry when I saw this. I flew back to
> the Right Coast over the holidays, and got pretty torqued when I saw
> the weekend warriors and their M-16s strolling around DFW. I managed
> to ameliorate this outrage by telling myself that the rifles probably
> weren't loaded. Oh well.
>
Leaving Texas through DFW after Xmas, I got REALLY searched for the
first time ever. Since I look slightly suspicious, they normally leave
me completely alone at security gates, prefering to search little old
ladies and normal looking businessmen. Occasionally they want to make
sure the tape deck in my briefcase is really a tape deck. But this time
I was closely inspected by a tiny, incomprehensibly-Englished middle
eastern woman with a device so sensitive that a tiny metal alligator
clip set it off. Those soldier fellows were standing around joshing
with each other, paying no attention. That they had huge firearms
didn't bother me; in fact I thought their guns looked cool. The
coolness of the weapons helps take the sting out of having one's
airports police-stated.
--
4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected
P.O. Box 181417, Cleveland, OH 44118 (fax 216-320-9528)
A subsidiary of:
The SubGenius Foundation, Inc. / P.O. Box 140306, Dallas, TX 75214
SubSITE: http://www.subgenius.com
PRABOB
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: mshotz@aol.comnospam (James T. Rex King of the Monsters)
When i was in the Delaware National guard, I was always "tasked" with running
the weapons training for both M-16, M-60, M-203, and Pistol.
Apparently, I was the only person around who could run a range at Ft. Dix or
Ft. A.P. Hill with out having range control shut them down.
One year the unit got Kicked off Ft.Dix back when it was still an Active Duty
Post for DRINKING BEER ON THE M-16 RANGE WHILE FIRING! Seems the Range control
pulled up for a rutine check, and saw everyone walking around with a cold "Bud"
in their hands, includeing the safety people as well as the people shooting
on
the firing line!
The Delaware National Guard (with teh exception of our Avaition units) was
banned from Ft. Dix until it was tranferded to the Army Reserve 5 years ago!
I had to show the people how to operate a M-16 EVERY YEAR! Like they just could
remenber the complicated porcess of locking back the bolt carrier, insert a
magazine, release the bolt, move from "save" to "Semi" aim and squeeze teh
trigger!
Then came the Pistol Range, which was even worse! Since the DE-NG was mostly
Signal, and Signal units have LOTS of Staff officers (in fact the Delaware Army
National Guard had 2600 troops and FOUR Generals) they decide to run teh pistol
range "coonsoladated" with all Pistol Shooters from all the Signal Units firing
at once.
These Majors and above (most of whom joined the Guard in the Veitnam War to
avoid the draft) could'nt even load the M-1911 .45 cal! more less shoot it!
When we converted to teh Berretta 9 mm, it got worse becuase teh .45 was single
action and would not fire unless it was cocked, the 9 was double,action thats
is could be fired as long as the safety was off. Had one of the Line Safety
people almost get shot in the leg becuase of this!
I got in trouble for throwing my hearing protection "ear muffs" at a full
Colnel who kept on turning around on the fireing line to hear the instructions
form teh tower, and point the pistol at where he was listening!
I enlisted in the actibe Army in 1978, served until 1982, as a Combat Engineer.
When into teh Army Reserve when I got out to get some extra oney for College,
where I served at a Platoon Sergeant for a Chemical Decontamination Platoon
(
as a E-4 I was Acting PLatoon Sergent, a position that normally get an E-7).
Got the Chemical Platoon from a bunch of potential sub-G screw ups to a full
operating platoon of Sub-G screw-ups that could do more with less and out
perform Active Duty units at full strength! By the way, I invented a field
Modification to the M-12 Portable DECON system that converted it into a dandy
tactical Jacuzzi!
When I graduated from college, one of the Officers at Battalion said that I
sould apply for OCS in the reserves. Well, I did and they said......
Not thanks we have plenty of ROTC people (who are a bunch of loosers)
So the same officer at battalion told me about the National Guard having its
own OCS programs (which produced the high quality of leaders who borught us
Kent State). I applied for Delaware's Program which was the closest to home.
I
took the interview, took the test (scored the highest they had in the last 8
years and still had not been matched as of end of the State Run OCS Programs)
Well, I went in, and It was basicly Infantry stuff. As a Combat Engineer, you
are a Grunt with a pick and shovel! So I whowed them! I could take a M-16 apart
blind folder, could explain everythting about the M-60 Machine Gun, and even
tought the Land Mine class! I also knew more about Demolitions then the guy
they had treaching it!
Delaware had one of the largest classes that year, 12 people! VA had 65, PA
had
110. Out these 12 people were were expected to form a Company! So once we had
the CO, XO, 1SG, PLT LDR and PLT SGT, we had a Comapany of 5 people! It was
a
joke!
But what really pissed me off was there were two guys in teh class who fathers
wre Full Time Colonels in the Guard. So when ever there was work to be done,
one of them would slack off and dissappera (to be far, the other although a
real dweeb, worked his ass off)
And these guys got all the acclaim at the graduation, gathering up ALL the
awards except one, teh Academic Award won by Yours truly! I had the Second
Highest Score in the NAtinal Guard Program that year. I lost tieing becuse I
screwed up on the Supply Management test.
Once I got assigned to a UNit in the Del Guard I realized that most of the
Officers would not have been able to make PFC on active duty. They seemed to
think that the National Guard was a Old Boys Club. And it was.
It was only until Tom Carper became Governer (he was a Vietnam Vet) that he
took steps to end the B.S. But despite the reforms (like assigning officers
to
command assignemnt based on merit, not who buddy they were, rotating officers
and NCO's among units every two years, and actually investigating where all
the
money was going) they old heads still tried to carry on the old ways.
When I got my 20 years in in 1998, was was begged to stay in by the Chief of
Staff, I just counted off teh ways that the Delaware Natininal Guard had
screwed people as well as me over the last ten years and had placed people in
positions that they were totally unqualified for just to get their "ticket
punched"
I then signed the paperwork, turned in my gear and walked out and have not
stepped in a Delaware Guard Armory since!
And I'd do it again!
MSHOTZ: The Post Post Modern Man
"Just think, the next time I shoot someone I could get arrested!"
Lt. Frank Dredin, "The Naked Gun"
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "Col. Sphinx Drummond"
That story sorta parallels my service in the Southwestern Bell Corporation Guard.
Corporate bureaucracies ain't that much different than government bureaucracies
--
just different weaponry.
Col. Sphinx Drummond TWSR
"James T. Rex King of the Monsters" wrote:
>
> I then signed the paperwork, turned in my gear and walked out and have not
> stepped in a Delaware Guard Armory since!
>
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: thereheis99@hotmail.com (Rev. Crawford)
"Rev. Ivan Stang"
> Leaving Texas through DFW after Xmas, I got REALLY searched for the
> first time ever. Since I look slightly suspicious, they normally leave
> me completely alone at security gates, prefering to search little old
> ladies and normal looking businessmen. Occasionally they want to make
> sure the tape deck in my briefcase is really a tape deck. But this time
> I was closely inspected by a tiny, incomprehensibly-Englished middle
> eastern woman with a device so sensitive that a tiny metal alligator
> clip set it off. Those soldier fellows were standing around joshing
> with each other, paying no attention. That they had huge firearms
> didn't bother me; in fact I thought their guns looked cool. The
> coolness of the weapons helps take the sting out of having one's
> airports police-stated.
Yeah, until you get one of them guardsmen who was a Twin Peaks fan,
and notices your resemblance to the demon Bob from same, and you find
yourself staring down the approximate-quarter-inch bizness end of said
weapon.
Prolly won't look so cool then.
-C