From: "Rev. Ivan Stang"
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Sat, Feb 2, 2002
At some point, that might become necessary, they tell me, as plotting
is obviously afoot. Sgt. Matt Lampert of Montana says the other day one
of the prisoners was caught "with a piece of cloth stuffed with rocks
that was tied off at the end." Sgt. Rodney Davis says that during
chowtime, he sees them through his scope "making terrain models out of
their food." And unlike say, Afghan prisons, where starving detainees
are reportedly begging to be sent to Gitmo, there's plenty of food to
play with. "They get fed better than us, sir," says Lampert. When I ask
the Marines if they've seen anything weird, they laugh sheepishly,
looking at each other. Finally, Sgt. Josh Westbrook, who sports a
forearm tattoo of flaming baby heads, steps up. "They know they're
being watched," he explains, "so they'll stare at you, and while they
stare at you, they'll, uh, masturbate."
According to these Marines, they don't just pleasure themselves to
freak out the snipers, but also to embarrass the female Army guards in
the camp's interior. The weirdness doesn't end there. They've also
eaten their toiletries and urinated on equipment. "The other day," says
Westbrook, "one of the guys tried to do a naked cartwheel." In the most
bizarre twist, Lance Corporal Devin Klebaur says a few have also been
known to "put toothpaste in their ass." "What's the purpose?" I ask.
"I'm not sure," he says, puzzled.
--
4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected
P.O. Box 181417, Cleveland, OH 44118 (fax 216-320-9528)
A subsidiary of:
The SubGenius Foundation, Inc. / P.O. Box 140306, Dallas, TX 75214
SubSITE: http://www.subgenius.com
PRABOB
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: bobdiddley@aol.com (Bobdiddley)
Stang wrote:
>According to these Marines, they don't just pleasure themselves to
>freak out the snipers, but also to embarrass the female Army guards in
>the camp's interior. The weirdness doesn't end there. They've also
>eaten their toiletries and urinated on equipment. "The other day," says
>Westbrook, "one of the guys tried to do a naked cartwheel." In the most
>bizarre twist, Lance Corporal Devin Klebaur says a few have also been
>known to "put toothpaste in their ass." "What's the purpose?" I ask.
>"I'm not sure," he says, puzzled.
But do they get to excremeditate five times daily, as is their "Bob"-given
right/duty? Ugh, this IS SubGenii we're talking about here, right?
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: mshotz@aol.comnospam (James T. Rex King of the Monsters)
> Lance Corporal Devin Klebaur says a few have also been
>known to "put toothpaste in their ass." "What's the purpose?" I ask.
>"I'm not sure," he says, puzzled.
>
That fact that a Marine even knows what toothpaste is prooves that this is
propoganda!
Joke:
You know why we don't see anymore 50 cent peices?
All the Marines married them!
MSHOTZ: The Post Post Modern Man
"Just think, the next time I shoot someone I could get arrested!"
Lt. Frank Dredin, "The Naked Gun"
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: HellPope Huey
In article <020220021507134291%stang@subgenius.com>, "Rev. says...
In the most
>bizarre twist, Lance Corporal Devin Klebaur says a few have also been
>known to "put toothpaste in their ass." "What's the purpose?" I ask.
>"I'm not sure," he says, puzzled.
Well, to keep those raspy, inward-curving teeth pearly white, of course. No
self-respecting woman will go out with a lamprey-ass whose maw is tarnished
by
yellow eaters. And never mind those with tooth loss brought about by gingivitis.
There's little on God's Earth more repugnant than a buck-toothed lamprey-ass.
Duh.
HellPope Huey, hellpopehuey@subgenius.com
With the thoughts you'd be thinkin'
you should be horsewhipped
Transported to a surreal landscape,
a young girl kills the first woman she meets
and then teams up with three complete strangers
to kill again.
- Marin County newspaper's
TV listing
for "The Wizard of Oz"
"You have the right to an attorney.
If you cannot afford an attorney,
we will supply you with the stupidest,
1st year law student dumb-ass slacker
we can find on the continent."
- "Lethal Weapon
4"
"Hey, you made me take a poopy!"
- "The Fairly
Odd Parent
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "Rev. Ivan Stang"
In article
<3392A85FDA4D6D81.85722EA5EDB5E4F6.3014B599CE9B2FE5@lp.airnews.net>,
William Barwell
>
> A month without goats to fuck and they start going neurotic on us.
>
> Oh, go ahead, give them toothepaste, if it keeps 'em busy and
> out of trouble. Knock yer selves out, you sillyassed sand apes.
9 out of 10 proctologists recommend Colgate.
--
4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected
P.O. Box 181417, Cleveland, OH 44118 (fax 216-320-9528)
A subsidiary of:
The SubGenius Foundation, Inc. / P.O. Box 140306, Dallas, TX 75214
SubSITE: http://www.subgenius.com
PRABOB