From: kconvery@ioma.com (The Bishop)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Wed, Dec 26, 2001
Doesn't that piss you off? Oh, well...
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From: nu-monet
What's he president of?
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From: "Alliekatt"
The only good ones are the ones who worked to, during their administrations,
ensure that NOTHING HAPPENED. Clinton's administration was so BORING and
FUNCTIONAL that his political enemies had to focus on his SEX LIFE in order
to manufacture crisis. Now that we have a texas oil steer ex-coke addict
with less gray matter than Danny Quayle steering the boat into the Bermuda
triangle, I'm sure that a shitload more people are secretly wishing that
they hadn't voted on that third ticket. If Al Gore had continued to keep
things boring and retchingly PC, the sandfleas wouldn't have gotten a bug up
their ass and tried to kill a dog that still remembers how well the Marshall
Plan worked. But the American infidel dog still enjoys the occasional
genocidal flea-dip.
Bomb 'em flat, occupy, rebuild the economy, give 'em lots of work and
luxuries so they get greedy and have something to lose, leave when the
economy is stable and interdependent on international trade. Amen. What
human rights violations? All is fair in stabilizing a country, and street
heroin will get a lot cheaper thanks to new Afghani poppy crops. We'll
be
safer and nearly terrorist-free, and terminal US addicts will fall into
their graves faster to boot, from OD's and AIDS. Nothin' like a good mutual
Darwinian wash-up.
If good old Al had gotten into office, nothing would have happened, and
women in Afghanistan would currently still be hanged for reading a book, and
beaten to death for a slipped veil. Al-Qaeda would still be biding its
time, seething in hate. The US would be as narcissistic and shallow as
ever, pissing about stupid shit like celebrity and government sex habits.
Oh yeah right, they still do.
Mutual boils have been popped and drained, and the job now is to keep the
neosporin handy. So it's an even exchange, one ludicrous irony for another.
Not that the acne will go away until human adolescence is finally over.
alliekatt
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From: inigo@montoya.net (D. P. Roberts)
Better than JFK? Better than FDR?
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From: rlan538885@aol.comnobozos (RLan538885)
Big Dog Bill Clinton?
At least the second best Rres. Thomas Jefferson is tough to beat though
for
overall contributions to this republic.
"100,000 lemmings can't be wrong"
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From: HellPope Huey
Naw. I give the guy credit for getting a blowjob in the Oval Office. Makes me
hearken back to Saint Sam Kinison's expression of regard for JFK: "Head of the
free world, looking out the window at the Washington Monument, his dick up
Marilyn Monroe's ass, his finger on The Button, telling the Russkies to KISS
OUR
ASS, IT JUST DOESN'T GET ANY BETTER THAN THAT OWW OOOOOWWWWW!!!"
Also, he wasn't Dan Quayle.
HellPope Huey, hellpopehuey@subgenius.com
Hell is bursting at the seams and
Heaven is just crawling with space
for roller skating
"I only have a few years to live
and I don't want to spend them dead!"
- "Futurama"
"It is a sobering thought, for example,
that when Mozart was my age,
he had been dead for two years."
- Tom Lehrer
"Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped."
- Groucho M
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From: "St. Marc the Perpetually Amused"
I keep hearing people say this, and it keeps not making any sense. What did
he actually *accomplish?* Sure, he had nice hair - and that's a big part of
the Presidency in the age of television - but I'm trying hard to remember
anything good he actually *did,* as opposed to good things that happened
while he was in office, and I'm coming up blank. Seriously, could you point
out why you think this? Thanks.
St. Marc
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From: inigo@montoya.net (D. P. Roberts)
>I keep hearing people say this, and it keeps not making any sense. What did
>he actually *accomplish?* Sure, he had nice hair - and that's a big part of
He made it acceptable to get blow jpbs in the oval office.
He got away with attacking the Sudan with missiles.
He had several people arrested for speaking out against him.
Isn't that enough?
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From: kconvery@ioma.com (The Bishop)
"St. Marc the Perpetually Amused"
>
> I keep hearing people say this, and it keeps not making any sense. What did
> he actually *accomplish?* Sure, he had nice hair - and that's a big part of
> the Presidency in the age of television - but I'm trying hard to remember
> anything good he actually *did,* as opposed to good things that happened
> while he was in office, and I'm coming up blank.
Well, if you decide beforehand that anything he accomplished was
stuff "that happened while he was in office," you have a point. I'm
not deluded in that particular way. Actually, he did a lot of good
things. Five minutes into his presidency, he lifted the gag order on
abortion counseling. (And five minutes into Dubya's administration, he
put it back.) He enacted budget cuts and sorely-needed tax increases
to get us out of a trillion-dollar hole. (And Dubya gave away the
money Clinton saved. We are now back into deficit spending.) He cut
the military budget, and the Pentagon, snorting swine that they are,
refused to re-allocate funds away from their limos and
defense-contract pork, leaving front-line units like aircraft carriers
scrounging for parts and supplies. (They wanted to make Clinton look
like Carter, who had a reputation for having gutted the military.) So
Clinton increased their spending to the point where two consecutive
budgets contained more than the Pentagon had asked for. They blew the
money on Ospreys and other boondoggles.
Clinton also cannot be judged to the same standard as other
Presidents, because no other President has ever had the kind of
political assassination campaign Clinton endured (and survived)
leveled at them. Clinton was forced to spend almost his entire second
term defending himself against lies he should never have been forced
to tell. (Yes, really. Look into it. How did the whole Monica thing
begin? Why was a question about a personal relationship inserted into
a real-estate investigation? Answer? So Clinton would either lie and
die politically, or tell the truth and die at home. It was a smear
campaign, pure and simple.)
Clinton also had a lot of good ideas that were smashed by a Congress
that viewed legislation as a football game, where the only thing that
mattered was winning, and winning aggressively, in the manner that is
most humiliating to your opponent. National health care was one
especially good one. (How much have your insurance rates gone up since
9/11?) As proof of this, look how gingrich resigned right after the
Republicans lost their fillibuster-proof majority. He could no longer
steamroll things through (or run out the clock by stalling unwanted
legislation in committee--remember the campaign finance law that never
made it out of committee because of Republican tricks?) with impunity,
so he packed up and left.
On a lot of levels, you could say Clinton was great simply because
he wasn't a Republican. You also have to remember that all great
Presidents still had flaws. The press is having their
post-administration field day about his shortcomings right now.