From: HellPope Huey
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Tue, Feb 12, 2002
In article
slag6900@billybeckloon.org says...
>>
>How does one become ordained in the church of the subgenius?
Send in yer $30, buttsplit a Moonie with a crowbar, violently fellate a quad's
helper monkey in front of school kids, use Kee-vain's head to drive in 12 tomato
stakes for yer old lady neighbor, run through a mall with briefs all over your
body like a psycho mummy, have a Fraidy "Bob" tattoed somewhere on you besides
yer ass, scare Stang by asking to stay at his house while you work your way
out
of destitution, set fire to your shirt in a Bob's Big Boy and run around dousing
it with people's water glasses, shit on every Pink tradition you can short of
arrest, carve your own image into a national monument, have a bowl of Slack-os,
got to sleep, rinse, lather, repeat until Sex Goddesses come in their Saucers
and so do you.
Best damned cult EVER! I sure luv "Bob." He's a hermaphrodite, you know. He's
hung like a Balrog, too.
HellPope Huey, hellpopehuey@subgenius.com
2 giant Japanese monsters walk into a bar.
What do you mean, "then what happened?"
"Oh, Indians never get lost," he said,
looking on every side
with an expression as perplexed as my own.
"However," said Tom,
"sometimes the path wanders away."
- P. J. O' Rourke
Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.
- Euripides
"What the hell are those?"
"Rear-view glasses, so I can catch the people
who keep following me."
- "Night