What the hell sort of chance does that give me?



From: countzero@email.com (Colin)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Fri, Jan 18, 2002

Yesterday I told someone I don't bad mouth people out loud because if
you can't say something nice about someone, don't say anything. His
response was "Well you weren't saying anything at all about me.  Does
that mean you've nothing nice to say about me?"

What the hell sort of a chance does that give me.  Do I spend my days
walking around verbalising good things about all the people I like all
day, so they know I've nothing bad to day about them, or do I take a
vow of silence and confuse the shit out the lot of them?
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From: HellPope Huey

Well see, you missed a classic chance to massage your SubGeneehood. NEITHER of
those actions is the proper one. With that vacuous and smarmy comment, he
identified himself as a self-centered, Pink, yuppiefied fuckhead, which called
for a DADA answer. You should have stood on one of his feet real hard to anchor
him, rabbit-punched him in the face 20 times as hard as you could and then while
he was reeling, said "Okay, that bozo nose of yours makes you a really good meat
version of an inflatable punching clown, o felcher of buffalo parts."

People complain of never seeing "Bob" for real, but when I last did this, I saw
a Pipe zoom by like a big moth, $500 cash appeared in my right pocket, a
wallet-sized chunk of hash appeared in the left and I was suddenly wearing
brand-new shoes. Men think in too linear a fashion and women in too lateral a
manner, but the SubGenius goes DIAGONALLY. "Bob" does indeed love us, but only
on the right terms. There ya go.  

 HellPope Huey, hellpopehuey@subgenius.com
   Non-Linear Explorations, Radical Film Textures:
   Your porno soundtrack done cheap if I get to watch

   "A mystical vision got dressed up one night..."
               - Rickie Lee Jones

   "What do you do for recreation?"
       "Oh, the usual. Bowl, drive around.
         The occasional acid flashback."
               - "The Big Lebowski"

"You pulled our weiners out of the fire just in time."
               - "King of
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From: thereheis99@hotmail.com (Rev. Crawford)

Naw, raise the stakes and accuse them of atrocities that they couldn't
possibly be responsible for, such as causing the Russo-Japanese War or
greenlighting "My Mother the Car."

-C
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From: rlan538885@aol.comnobozos (RLan538885)

Damn them with faint praise. That REALLY confuses 'em.


"100,000 lemmings can't be wrong"
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From: "Ricky Nielsen"

make a flow chart that connects them (all the people you know) the
Illuminati ,the communist party,Albert Fish,the Skoptics,Branch Davidians
ect.whip it out at any chanch"oh your collecting for Paul's birthday do you
know he is a member of SPEKTRE? It is right here on my chart">
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From: "Ricky Nielsen"

"Kevan" wrote in message
news:2c1h4u8gls2le5sa4qoh2ltj9nljefnm32@4ax.com...
>
> Practice right intention in your speech and build up lots of good karma.

or practice your marksmanship and build up your score