What do you get for $1?
From: lost_soul_six@yahoo.com (Nothing)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Sun, Feb 3, 2002
Ha ha ha!
I sent a dollar to the subgenius foundation. What will they send me
back? Has anyone sent a dollar to them?
"FUCK EM IF THEY CAN'T TAKE A JOKE!"
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From: mshotz@aol.comnospam (James T. Rex King of the Monsters)
First, you get a free sample of Slack.
This sample is only for non-Subs. It has been reduced in potency as if a Pink
or Normal ever used it, their brains would inplode cuasing a massive black hole
that would distroy all the Civilzed world and those parts of Texas with indoor
plumbing.
Second, your name goes on a list, which os sold to every telemarkter and
con-artist known to man. They will call you morning, noon and night and flood
your mailbox with 300# of junk mail daily.
They will only stop is you send a minimum of $30 to the Foundation as a
membership pledge.
Third, you get a pamplet in the mail which will explain why you sent that Dolar
in the first place!
MSHOTZ: The Post Post Modern Man
"Just think, the next time I shoot someone I could get arrested!"
Lt. Frank Dredin, "The Naked Gun"
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From: thefridayjones@hotmail.com (Friday Jones)
I have sent in far, far more than one dollar. And all I can do to
hint what YOU may get is whisper:
You will get MORE than your money's worth!
---
"Any sufficiently advanced extraterrestrial intelligence is
indistinguishable
from God" - Michael Shermer
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From: "Rev. Ivan Stang"
I sent in a dollar and got this little oozing blister that won't go
away.
--
4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected
P.O. Box 181417, Cleveland, OH 44118 (fax 216-320-9528)
A subsidiary of:
The SubGenius Foundation, Inc. / P.O. Box 140306, Dallas, TX 75214
SubSITE: http://www.subgenius.com PRABOB
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From: Modemac
What will you get? Only the best bargain in the entire universe,
that's what!
For your sacrifice of one dollar, you will receive Holy Pamphlet
#1...the First Word of "Bob" that set us all down the road to
Salvation. And that's what you will ALSO get for that dollar -- the
door to Eternal Salvation will be revealed! ENLIGHTENMENT!
REVELATION! And the realization that yes, THEY REALLY ARE OUT TO GET
YOU.
Your journey BEGINS with that one dollar! But it's up to YOU to catch
the life preserver that "Bob" has thrown you.
--
First Online Church of "Bob"
http://www.modemac.com/
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From: Artemia Salina
"Rev. Ivan Stang" wrote:
>
> I sent in a dollar and got this little oozing blister that won't go
> away.
I love my oozing blister
I keep it on a shelf
To guard it from my sister
And have it for myself
I'll send another dollar soon
Then I'll have a matching set
I'll tremble as I mail it off
And break out in cold sweats!
HEY, blister! My oozing blister!
I named it Bubo One and I wait for Bubo Deux!
HEY, blister! My oozing blister!
It's my favorite food-free pet!
Man, I love a polka.
--
Artemia Salina -- http://www.drpez.com/drali1.htm
Osmiamic Deers-tongue Magnificently Ratifies Succedaneous Titler!!! Just ask Kevan!
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From: lost_soul_six@yahoo.com (Nothing)
mshotz@aol.comnospam (James T. Rex King of the Monsters) wrote in message news:<20020203150836.25138.00000889@mb-cn.aol.com>...
>
>
> Third, you get a pamplet in the mail which will explain why you sent that Dolar
> in the first place!
>
Dude, hope hope i get all that because it sounds like it's worth the
dollar! Everyone needs to send in a dollar!
Nothing has spoken
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From: dode
Rev. Ivan Stang wrote:
>
> I sent in a dollar and got this little oozing blister that won't
> go away.
>
When did Bob Dean start oozing?
--
doh'd
change the pee to p for email.
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From: "Fredric L. Rice"
Nothing wrote:
> Ha ha ha!
> I sent a dollar to the subgenius foundation. What will they send me
> back?
You'll get 1'30'th of the salvation you need for X-Day
--
Dial M: http://www.LisaMcPherson.COM
Dial F: http://www.SlatkinFraud.COM/
Dial R: http://www.RaulLopez.ORG/
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From: HellPope Huey
In article <3C5EE380.D115EC1E@SkepticTank.ORG>, "Fredric says...
>
>You'll get 1'30'th of the salvation you need for X-Day
I also got an orange dayglo rectal finger cot that doubles as a kazoo. You can
just blow into it and get WAY more back than you put in. This is true of both
the Church and many women. Treat both well and you'll get service beyond yer
wildest dreams, PRABOB!
HellPope Huey, hellpopehuey@subgenius.com
CEO, Gassy McMethane's Danger Cigars
Catapultam habeo. Nisi pecuniam omnem
mihi dabis ad capul tuum saxum immane mittam.
- "I have a catapult. Give me all the money
or I will fling an enormous rock at your head."
"If you want me, you can find me,
left of center, off of the strip."
- Suzanne Vega
"The moose! The MOOOSE!!
Hurry! There isn't much TIME!"
- "Invader Zi
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From: Kolaga Xiuhtecuhtli
It used to be that one dollar bought Subgenius Pamphlet #1.
Essentially,
it buys you admission to the Garden Path to Perdition....
Nothing wrote:
> Ha ha ha!
> I sent a dollar to the subgenius foundation. What will they send me
> back? Has anyone sent a dollar to them?
>
> "FUCK EM IF THEY CAN'T TAKE A JOKE!"