From: "St. Marc the Perpetually Amused"
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Sun, Apr 21, 2002
Why is it that when you meet a lovely person online, they always end up to
be in Lower Bumfuck, Canada, and you live in Upper Bumfuck, Illinois, or
something? And why is it that sexual compatibility guarantees this? Is this
some sort of stupid "like charges repel" thing? I mean, what if you're
opposite polarities? It doesn't seem to matter.
Disgustedly,
St. Marc
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: HellPopeHuey
Oh, soitonly. And those who suck worse than George Michael in a Venice men's
room, fucking up something you hold dear, will be FAR closer than they appear
in
the mirror. To your point, I personally am convinced that the real love of my
life lives in lower Montana someplace.
My very best likely bets seem to live in the Northwest and three other states
so far from Arkansas, I'm glad they don't have to LIVE in Arkansas 'cause I
LIKE
them, eieieieiei!!
Now if only 3 of the people I really HATE would get on a plane with a nut who
had plastique in his shoes and enough brains to have wired a 9v battery to it
so
it would WORK this time, I'd be dancin' like a monkey. Gosh, that's ugly, but
so
are they and so am I and what are YOU looking at, bugfuck?! Whistle while you
work, I SAID WHISTLE, DAMN YOU!! C'mon, pucker up.
HellPope Huey, hellpopehuey@subgenius.com
"The patient was to have a bowel resection.
However, he took a job as a stock broker instead."
"The 60's are just a pile in the floor now."
- Puzzling Evidence
"I'm gonna watch it AGAIN!"
- "Invade
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "Hilbert Hooper Aspaspia"
I see you've been to Match.com.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "St. Marc the Perpetually Amused"
"Hilbert Hooper Aspaspia"
news:hsVw8.85233$XV5.7745218@bin4.nnrp.aus1.giganews.com...
>
>
> I see you've been to Match.com.
Actually, no... the person just ran across my website. I do occasionally
browse the ads at alt.com for fun (they're really hysterical) but since I
won't give them any money, I couldn't respond to their ads even if I wanted
to. Whether you're actively looking or not doesn't seem to affect the
phenomenon.
St. Marc
--
Ghawar is dying.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "Hilbert Hooper Aspaspia"
>
> Actually, no... the person just ran across my website. I do occasionally
> browse the ads at alt.com for fun (they're really hysterical) but since I
> won't give them any money, I couldn't respond to their ads even if I
wanted
> to. Whether you're actively looking or not doesn't seem to affect the
> phenomenon.
>
I dunno.
I'm 41 yrs. old, just divorced in June after 6 years of an increasingly Pink
marriage.
I meet plenty of women while at work, unfortunately they all seem to
originate from that trailer park where the COPS television show recruits
cast members.
Or their parents were featured in the film Deliverance.
So it's on to Nerve.com or Match.com for me.
And, as you lamented earlier, it appears that the further Sweetie is from my
little corner of New Jersey, the more perfect she turns out to be.
(Reference: See post BR-549:
Why I love Friday Jones, an essay in Three Parts,
by Hilbert Hooper Aspaspia.).
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Monseignor Tartarus Sanctus
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Hilbert Hooper Aspaspia wrote:
>
> I dunno.
> I'm 41 yrs. old, just divorced in June after 6 years of an increasingly Pink
> marriage.
> I meet plenty of women while at work, unfortunately they all seem to
> originate from that trailer park where the COPS television show recruits
> cast members.
>
> Or their parents were featured in the film Deliverance.
>
> So it's on to Nerve.com or Match.com for me.
>
> And, as you lamented earlier, it appears that the further Sweetie is from
my
> little corner of New Jersey, the more perfect she turns out to be.
>
My friend who is in the know says trailer park oral sex is the best
there is. Maybe you should lower your standards.
--
Monseignor Tartarus Sanctus
Cathareuse Ordre de Frites
Salvian HP Synod
Plenty of space
And more
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: lyonderboy666@hotmail.com (Anti Pope Lupus of SI)
"Hilbert Hooper Aspaspia"
> And, as you lamented earlier, it appears that the further Sweetie is from
my
> little corner of New Jersey, the more perfect she turns out to be.
Yeah, no shit. You live in Jersey.
-APLY
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: fossil_1984@hotmail.com (The Rev. Dr. Lt. Chaos Israel)
"St. Marc the Perpetually Amused"
> Why is it that when you meet a lovely person online, they always end up to
> be in Lower Bumfuck, Canada, and you live in Upper Bumfuck, Illinois, or
> something? And why is it that sexual compatibility guarantees this? Is this
> some sort of stupid "like charges repel" thing? I mean, what if you're
> opposite polarities? It doesn't seem to matter.
>
Because if (s)he's several thousand miles away, you have the luxury of
not actually having to do anything about it.
--
Chaos.
Disabled Veteran of altogether too many long distance relationships.